New Year’s resolution: More columns about cyborgs for Mediaite. Learn Wordpress. And maybe get a black belt in Karate…and maybe a dog.

I have inadvertently learned a lot about cyborgs by becoming one recently. It started when I damaged my right eye after shooting a pile of cow crap with a shotgun when I was nine. Over the years the eye got worse and I ended up getting it removed four years ago. Yes, I have seen A Christmas Story and, yes, Ralphie’s mother was right –- you’ll shoot your eye out. And now, I would now like to break down the 10 best cyborgs of the decade:

If you want to become a cyborg, or post-human, the best way is to hardly eat anything and drink a lot of Pinot Noir. Basically what a Ralph Lauren model consumes. That’s how they’ll be doing it in 2045, when the Singularity comes to fruition. Confused? Let the Eyeborg be your one-eyed, all-seeing guide.

It’s not like we aren’t already okay with replacing body parts. I don’t know too may Hollywood actresses with their real boobs anymore, and as if your iPhone isn’t almost already part of your body.

I’m no stranger to losing body parts as I am a one-eyed guy. That’s why part of me sympathizes with 65 year old Bill Rice who had the tip of his pinkie finger bitten off at a Health care rally last Wednesday. Course it was only after he punched out some mystery pro-health reform guy in the face a second time. According to Bill the guy called him an idiot. More in a Washington Post article here.

Erin Andrews, the ESPN Sportscaster, was the victim of a peephole video last month when someone rigged a small camera to record her changing in her hotel room. As a guy who is retro-fitting a prosthetic eye to be a video camera, I have followed the debate about video ethics and privacy closely. Because my video camera eye (a working field model is nearly done! Stand by!) is a bit creepy I get a lot of criticism for potentially invading people’s privacy.

As a guy who has had to have five eye operations, that even if I get health insurance, I am pretty much screwed if I ever need to get health care. I would most likely be personally bankrupt right now if I had been an American. Perhaps I should have mentioned that to Howard Dean in the Today show green room.

Journalists really can be superheroes. A journalist’s super-power is an ability to spread information. A journalist can wield their laptop or camera like a super ray blaster for truth, eradicating misinformation everywhere. Llike those journalists who risk their lives to bring us impartial news from war zones or countries who may not agree with their reporting. One such superhero is Maziar Bahari.

Greetings Mediaite readers, my name is Rob Spence — AKA Eyeborg — and I am the world’s first cyborg columnist. Fellow Canadian and Mediaite editor-at-large Rachel Sklar thought that I might have an interesting point of view on the media and asked me to write a column for Mediaite once a week.