Kimmel, Conan, and the Truth About Leno-Hate

Jimmy Kimmel’s evisceration of Jay Leno last night was incredible – as much of the Internet has noted – but not just for the reasons people are giving.

After Kimmel’s devastating Leno impersonation the other night, having Kimmel on his show was a ballsy move on Jay’s part, as he took a risk that Kimmel would play nice.

Needless to say, the risk did not pay off.

Instead, Kimmel sensed the blood in the water, and with the late night audience about to be thrown up for grabs, dove head first toward “Team Conan.”

But it was his ending salvo that added a surreal sense to this already far-too-surreal affair, when he unleashed the following.

“Listen Jay. Conan and I have children. All you have to take care of is cars. We have lives to lead here. You have $800 million. For god sakes, leave our shows alone.”

With this one devastating verbal grenade, Kimmel exposed the ridiculousness of the whole “Team Conan” movement.

Because whatever percentage of truth to jest Kimmel intended, people are reacting as if Leno is actually taking food out of the mouths of Conan’s children, for having the audacity to accept a promotion back to a position he once held, loved, and excelled at.

The assumption throughout has been that Jay is the big, bad, unjustly entitled rich white man picking on the young, vulnerable O’Brien – himself a 46-year-old man who, when he moved to L.A., purchased a $10.5 million mansion in Brentwood that reportedly includes a wine cellar, an outdoor kitchen, a pool, a spa, and a screening room.

It really is a regular David v. Goliath, isn’t it?

But putting aside that this is just a big multi-millionaire catfight, the truly bothersome assumptions here are that a) Jay Leno orchestrated this as part of some nefarious plan; and that b), he owes it to the world and to Conan to make his career decisions based not on what’s best for him, but on what’s best for Conan O’Brien.

By 2004, Jay had been the undisputed king of late night television for about a decade. But Conan decided that he had paid his dues at 12:30, and was ready for bigger things. Fair enough: he did a great job, overcoming negative perceptions to develop a brilliant, unique, and popular show.

So to keep him at NBC, it was proposed that Conan would be given the job of Tonight Show host – in other words, Jay Leno’s job – if he stayed. And from what we know, Conan had NO trepidation about displacing Jay Leno, a man who had worked his ass off to get where he was, clearly loved where he was, and had succeed wildly. Conan wanted to move up, and if Jay Leno had to be moved out of the way, so be it.

Now, I’m not begrudging Conan for making the best possible deal, just as I don’t begrudge Leno for it now. I’m just making clear that Leno was not the only self-serving participant here.

But then there’s the question of why Leno agreed to it. He clearly didn’t want to retire. And, he was on top. All evidence points to Leno agreeing to the deal, as he claimed, so that Conan wouldn’t have to go through what he himself had gone through with David Letterman.

Which means that the reason this entire debacle is happening is that back in 2004, Leno, in a move that was actually selfless to a level unheard of in Hollywood (if not also wildly spineless and misguided), did exactly what “Team Conan” is demanding he do now — sacrifice himself for Conan — and it proved to be the stupidest thing he could have done!

The bottom line is that everyone has the right to act in their own self interest – Jay Leno has no more obligation to Conan O’Brien than Conan O’Brien has to Jay Leno – and the real villain here is NBC, who was stupid and greedy in trying to keep both men at the network.

So let’s stop acting like Conan – who, if he never earns another dollar, will still have more money than most of us combined – is entitled to The Tonight Show, and that Jay Leno owes it to everyone to slink away to some remote mountain in the Himalayas.

And Jimmy – don’t worry about Conan’s kids. They’ll be fine.

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