Pimping our Rays

With the return of Hung to HBO, Sunday nights at 10:00 PM, personal assets have never been more relevant. If you’ve not yet heard of the show, it focuses on Ray Drecker, a down on his luck high school teacher who transforms himself into a modern-day gigolo by leveraging his God-given gift – let’s call it his “winning tool.”

As part of its promotional campaign, HBO has created a new website, www.pimpray.com, which enables both creative types and fans of HBO to create ads to “pimp” Ray, the lead character of the show.  Three finalists’ ads will compete for the grand prize on Facebook.  The “pimp” behind the ad that receives the highest click-thru rate gets $10,000.

So as the show concedes: size does matter. And nowhere is this more true than in the world of media professionals, best exemplified by the buzz surrounding the Power Grid, our new feature that ranks media players’ standing in their specific category. Need proof? Already numerous members of the media elite (most notably Paul Krugman and Martha Stewart) have virally bragged about their “big digit” via Twitter or blog.

So forgive us for pimping our own big asset (the Power Grid), but we thought it would be apropos to pimp all the “Rays” that are in our database:

• First off is the always hunky Ray Wert; as the editor and lead writer for Jalopnik, he’ll definitely know how to get your motor running. With his big number 29 among Newspaper and Online Editors, he’ll have no problem jacking up your car and tooling around to fix any problems you might have. Pick this Ray and we promise you’ll be in high gear in no time.

• Next up is our big man on campus, San Francisco Examiner columnist Ray Ratto, with a hefty 180 among Print and Online Columnists. As a long time sports journalist, he knows damn well how to use his bat and balls. Hanging around the court with this player is fun, but the real action starts in the locker room.

• Ray Rogers, the Editor in Chief of BlackBook, is the choice for those looking for a debonair, dashing gentleman; a man who wins you over not just because of his 88th in Magazine Editors, but charm and good looks as well. Choose him for a night, and after he’s taken you to the swankiest of galas, we’re sure he’ll be adding you to his own little “blackbook.”

• There may be no more apt name in the world than Chicago Tribune reporter Ray Long’s; after all, he’s got a very extensive 198 (among Print and Online Reporters) to back him up. If you want to ride up and down, up and down, on all the elevators of Chicago’s tall skyscrapers, Mr. Long is the choice for you.

• Saving the best for last, is the always adorable Rachael Ray. With a meaty 32 among TV Anchors and Hosts, she proves that you don’t have to be a man to play with the big dogs. In fact, if you stick around long enough, we’re sure she’ll make you a meal you’d never forget.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

New: The Mediaite One-Sheet "Newsletter of Newsletters"
Your daily summary and analysis of what the many, many media newsletters are saying and reporting. Subscribe now!