Welp, you can’t jokingly/empoweringly call yourself a cronut slut anymore, because you might get confused for what this guy is looking for, and — we promise you — you do not want to be this Craigslist stranger’s cronut slut. It’s appropriate that we found this on the Fourth of July, because, truly, this is the best way to celebrate America’s birthday: this shameless mouthhug of its entrepreneurial spirit.
We’ve moved past the cronut black market, shilling them around the city at insane markups, and have moved onto shilling them in exchange for high demand sexual favors. A man posted the following ad on Craigslist, w4c:
Thankfully he can only claim two blow jobs a day. Ladies, think long and hard about this one before you succumb. Would Dominique Ansel want you selling your bodies for a mouthful of flaky deep-fried pastry? We think not. He seems awfully nice.
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com