New life goals: get caught smuggling drugs across the Italian border, be sentenced to several (at least two) years in Italian prison, conveniently forget everything we remember about the Amanda Knox trial. You know why? Because Italian prison life is awesome. At least, life in Busto Arsizio prison is.
First of all, you get to watch as much TV as you want. One prisoner-turned-chocolatier actually complained about all the TV he got to watch saying:
“Before I spent 21 hours a day in a cell just watching TV in a bed. Now time goes fast! I’ve got one year left of my sentence but, working here, it’s like tomorrow. I’m even mad now because we have a vacation over Christmas. I want to work because those 10 days in a cell are like two months.”
Dude, you could catch up on like, two HBO seasons a day with that schedule. Side note: what exactly does a prison Christmas vacation entail? Do they get to leave?
Also, the well-behaved inmates serving at least two years at Busto Arsizio are employed in its state of the art chocolate factory, which used to be a gym, but now makes bonbons. Chocolate > workouts.
Now ask us how much Italian prison pays its felon chocolatiers. Answer: 400 to 600 Euros a month. That’s between $520 and $780, and keep in mind they don’t have to pay for rent OR food (or cable?). Guys. Italian prison is where we all need to be honing our tempering skills.
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