When we first stumbled across this story, we thought Kanye was getting into the salumi game, but then we saw the phrase “Artisanal Cannibalism Startup” and we realized it was much worse than we could ever imagine.
Bitelabs is trying to make nuanced and ironic commentary on the following things: lab-grown meats, the consumption of celebrity culture, and bioethics. The way to do that? Grow flesh from the stem cells of celebrities and make salami out of it.
Other than being “100% serious” about the cannibalism part, they “are also interested in the way celebrity culture is consumed and hope that there is some kind of back-handed commentary on that.”
Which like, so are we, but we’re not forcing Kanye onto anyone’s cheese plate. And for the record, hypothetical Kanye Salami’s flavor profile goes a little something like this:
“The Kanye Salami will pull no punches: heavy, and boldly flavored, pure Kanye West meat will blend with rich, coarse-ground pork. Hungarian paprika and worcestershire give Kanye an underlying smokiness, spiced up with hints of jalapeno. The Kanye Salami is best paired with strong straight bourbon.”
No celebrities have signed on to become smoked sausage yet.
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