In its hands, Tribeca Citizen holds what is possibly the hottest mess of a restaurant industry rumor to ever hit the internet, five circles of hell below Guy Fieri’s Times Square restaurant: Lindsay Lohan might be thinking of entering the food industry, and was spotted discussing a potential NYC restaurant opening.
A group of unnamed investors, apparently applying for a liquor license for the TriBeCa adress 39 N. Moore, have postponed their application after the neighbors sent around this flyer noting their opposition. Normally, such opposition arises from potential noise complaints and new Undesireables in their neighborhood, but as a tipster told Tribeca Citizen, there’s one prominent Undesireable they’d prefer not to host:
“We’re told that Lindsay Lohan was in the retail store currently in our commercial space late this afternoon. Importantly, she was talking about the potential design of the space, including where she would like to put a bar and a DJ booth.”
While we’ve often come out against Puritanical neighbors and their noise complaints in many a zoning board fight, this is completely justified. Completely, totally justified. Who really wants sloppy drunk girl-on-girl fights next to their peacefully slumbering babies? Who wants paparazzi prowling all over their neighborhood, hunting for a wild vagina sighting? Who wants to be forced to watch The Canyons?
Okay, we might, just for the schadenfreude.
Have a tip we should know? firstname.lastname@example.org