The food world at large is abuzz with
Kim and Kanye’s baby announcement trend predictions for 2013, and, thankfully, Ruth Bourdain got in on the action with some forecasting of her own.
On the heels of trademarking April Bloomfield’s Spotted Pig in the UK, chef Gordon Ramsay will secure trademarks for The French Laundry, Noma, Per Se, and Babbo, and open a new flagship restaurant called Gordon Ramsay’s Momofuku Grill.
What would they even serve at Gordon Ramsay’s Momofuku Grill? Beef Wellington Ramen? (We’re sorry for even suggesting that.)
And remember how Robert Parker sold Wine Advocate to “a shadowy group of investors” in Singapore, befuddling wine lovers everywhere? Ruth predicts he’s not out of the game just yet:
Following his sale of Wine Advocate to Asian investors, wine critic Robert Parker will launch Noodle Advocate, featuring in-depth noodle criticism, “noodle notes” (“toothsome and hedonistic, with undercurrents of egg, toasted wheat, and underbrush”) and the first 100-point noodle scale. In keeping with his penchant for high alcohol wines, Parker will display a clear bias towards drunken noodles.
And, in sexier news, Ruth has her money on Gael Greene getting her groove back in 2013 and reliving some of her hot young 1960s glory. (Did you know she schtupped Elvis?!):
Reprising her (in)famous sexual interlude with Elvis, Gael Greene will bed Justin Bieber in a New York hotel. But, unlike Elvis, who asked Greene for a post-coital egg sandwich, Bieber will request a Lunchable.
Check out the rest of Ruth’s predictions here. Her alternative to butt-chugging is even more cringe-worthy than the original.
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