In part three of our series highlighting the chefs of America’s smaller cities ( last week we visited Nashville,) we’re going north — waaaaaay north, to the college town of Madison. While it lets its bigger, brassier sister city Milwaukee take the spotlight with its beers, the capitol city of Wisconsin has, over the past few decades, grown into a fiercely locavore city with a sprawling network of farmers, purveyors, and artisans — as well as a restaurant scene which takes pride in showing off their home-grown products. It’s San Francisco with more layers (both in terms of flavor and clothing), basically, and a few chefs who’ve grabbed the national spotlight.
If we missed a few chefs — and when you’ve only got ten spots, you’re bound to do so — let us know! And if your town has ten chefs the country needs to know about, tip us, why doncha?
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Sarah in Boston
It was just another day on the One Nation tour, as Sarah Palin signed autographs from eager fans in Boston. She looked over at her husband, Todd, and smiled. He smiled back.
She knew he wasn't thrilled to continue walking the path of Paul Revere's famous ride and that he'd be much happier finally getting to see the "Cheers" bar, but he was doing this for her. He believed in her and she loved him for it.
(photo source: Boston Herald/Mark Garfinkel)
The Thing Approaches
Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned, expecting to see another fan, another regular person, inspired by her success to become involved in the fate of her country.
"Or it'll probably just be another reporter," Sarah chuckled to herself.
However, when she turned, she realized it was something much worse. It was one of them.
(photo source: Boston Globe/Pat Greenhouse)
A Previous Encounter
This had happened before. In 2009, in an Indiana book signing, one of these...things had approached her. It had reached out for her, gripped her arm with a cold, inhuman strength. "You're coming with me," it had said.
She could have died that day but, fortunately, someone had pulled a fire alarm and distracted the thing while she made her escape. Sarah had been lucky. She didn't like being lucky and she didn't like retreating. She liked reloading.
It was on that day in 2009 that Sarah told herself she'd be prepared if the thing ever returned.
(photo source: SarahPAC/Shealah Craighead)
Time's Running Out
"Todd, now!" Sarah yelled as the creature from Boston approached her.
Todd, who had been asking a passerby where the bankrobbing "Town" neighborhood was, instinctually dropped what he was doing and ran to his wife's aid. He reached in his jacket and pulled out the handgun they'd bought in 2009 for just this circumstance. He lifted it and prepared to shoot like he had so many times while hunting in Alaska. His finger began to press on the trigger when he suddenly realized something. Something awful.
He couldn't tell which one was his wife.
(photo source: Associated Press/Steven Senne)
Sarah and Her Doppelganger
"I...I can't tell you apart!" he yelled.
"It's me!" said the Sarah on the right.
"No, it's me, Todd!" said the one on the left.
Sweat began to drip down Todd's brow. What was he going to do?
"Quick, ask them something only Sarah would know!" yelled an elderly woman in a "Mama Grizzly" t-shirt.
"Sarahs," Todd stammered. "Where did we first meet?"
"In high school!" said the Sarah on the left.
"That's a Gotcha Question!" said the Sarah on the right.
"My God," Todd thought. "They both sound just like her!"
(photo source: Associated Press)
The Creature Revealed
"If you can't do it, I'll do it myself!" the Sarah on the left yelled.
She reached up her hand and tore it across the impostor's face. After all, grizzlies have claws.
Suddenly, though, she felt something odd. As her nails dug in to the woman's face, she could feel the skin begin to peel away. When she pulled her hand back, she realized she was holding the entire face in her fingers. She looked up and saw the most terrifying thing she had ever seen; a metal skull. Inside it, two cold eyes rolled around as the thing tried desperately to figure out what to do next.
Suddenly, it ran off into the distance.
They were safe...for now.
An Evil Force Waits
Meanwhile, somewhere in a dark office, miles under the ground in Washington D.C., a man sat in the shadows. He drummed his fingers on his desk as he awaited an update.
His assistant walked in, trying, as always, to hide his fear.
"Um, Mr. Rove," the young man said. "The mission has failed."
The man in shadows glared at the assistant until he left. He then picked up a photo off his desk and studied it. It was a picture of Sarah.
"Next time, Sarah Palin," he whispered to himself. "Next time."
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