In an interview with Zagat, Duff Goldman of Ace of Cakes talks about the important things in life: how to get people to decorate their own cakes while giving his business Cakemix money, smack-talking the “richness” of Serendipity’s uber-expensive “Golden Opulence” sundae, and — hilariously and GIF-ably — wondering how one could possibly profit off breast milk lollipops.
“Here’s the thing: where are you getting this milk?” he asks, before proceeding to demonstrate what he means.
First off, breast milk lollipops don’t actually have breast milk in them. They’re pretty much entirely sugar, which leads us to our second point: please stop making that motion. Our mammaries actually kind of hurt in a physical way after seeing this. You know how men feel a sympathetic jolt of pain whenever they see another man get hit in the testes? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. We’re rhythmically cringing with every udder-yanking motion you make. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
The rest of the (thankfully) non-painful interview can be found below.
WATCH: Duff Goldman Slams Anti-Gay Cake Decorator, Offers A Free Wedding Cake To Lesbian Couple
Duff Goldman Had A Crazy Dream And Predicted The Super Bowl’s Final Score
Duff Goldman’s New Cakemix Shop Lets You Decorate Your Own Cake
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