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Merry Christmahanakwanzaka! Or, The Minefield of Holiday Greetings

by Lori Wagner | 9:24 am, December 30th, 2010

» 4 comments

I hope everyone has been having a nice holiday season. Whatever you celebrate. Which brings me to an interesting subject: the PC-ness of the holidays and the awkward hilarity that ensues. I’m not really talking about whether you say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or whatever. It’s more about how I’m an idiot. I have been putting my foot in my mouth since I learned to talk, and 34.5 years into my life that hasn’t changed.

Let me just say that Christmas + social networking = landmines. I spent the last week stepping all over them. I’m part of a lovely group of friends on Twitter who extend greetings to each other on a daily basis, and when I get a chance I try to reply back to everyone. On Christmas Eve Eve – I wanted to get a jump on my holiday greetings – I decided to go for the “reply all” on a daily hello and wish everyone a Happy Christmas Eve Eve. And then I had that sinking feeling that comes when one hits “reply all” without thinking.

Here’s how my thought process went:

Stupid Lori! You just hit reply all and wished Rachel Sklar a Happy Christmas Eve Eve!
She is JEWISH!!
Nooooooo! (panic panic panic)
Must. Reverse. Course.

Then I sent out another tweet and RESCINDED my Happy Christmas Eve Eve greeting to Rachel. That’s right. I took it back! (Is that an etiquette faux pas?) I instead wished her a Happy December 23. Because I am an idiot like that. I thought about wishing her a Merry Chinese Food Day on the 25th, but thought that might have gone too far.

I was really thrown off when another of my other lovely twitter friends, Sara, wished me a heartfelt Merry Christmas.

More internal dialogue:

Sara just sent me a sweet Christmas greeting.
Hold up. Isn’t she Jewish?
*Checks twitter feed to confirm, since there is confusion.*
Yep. She’s Jewish.
But she’s tweeting about going to a Christmas celebration.
SO CONFUSED!!
Well now how do I reply?

I didn’t want to blow my idiot streak, so I wished her a Merry December 25. You know, instead of the very original “Merry December 23.” Could there possibly be a worst greeting? You won’t find those cards at Hallmark, and for good reason. But really, how do you wish a Jewish friend Merry Christmas? (Yes, I realize that’s a dumb question, but I’m on a dumb roll here.) I’m guessing there’s not too much merry about it for them, since it’s hard to find even an open gas station on Christmas, yet nothing closes for Hanukkah. Seems a little unfair.

Fortunately, as I belatedly learned, Sara wrote a post about what Jews do on Christmas – if only I had read that before getting all awkward! I will know for next year. Until then, I’m sure there will plenty of other opportunities to be awkward on Twitter. Anyone got an opinion about that nice Michael Vick?

I’d better stop there before I end up choking on my size 9, double-wide foot. So I’ll just leave you with this: Happy Holidays!

Lori lives in the greater Cincinnati area. She’s a stay-at-home mom of two girls while her husband works to pay off her two college degrees. When not changing diapers or sorting coupons she can be found tweeting as @LoriNKY or blogging at Mish Mash Momma.

Jews on Christmas, Lori Wagner, Saving for Someday, twitter

Tater Salad

Kwanzaa is a made up holiday by a Black Marxist:

http://floydreports.com/obama-wishes-you-a-phony-racist-holiday/?utm_source=Expose+Obama&utm_campaign=6b7daed1bc-EO_12_28_201012_28_2010&utm_medium=email
Big Eddie

Known many Jewish people and ” Merry Christmas ” doesn’t seem to bother them . Never heard Kwanza mentioned by anyone in real life . If somebody wants to be offended , they’ll find something to offended about . Bada bing .
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeremy-Parnell/644447772 Jeremy Parnell

Very entertaining post Lori!

I’m sure most non-Christians such as myself would forgive a “Merry Christmas” around this time of year. In fact, it seems that more people get offended with a “Happy Holidays” than anything else you might say. For some reason a lot of people feel the need to correct you when you say “Happy Holidays”, with some garbage about how being “PC” is the end of the world. To me, no one can be completely politically correct all the time. But trying to find the right words to say (what some might call “politically correct”) is really just trying to be polite and respectful, so it astounds me that so many people are against that.

Statistically, you’re probably less likely to offend someone by saying “Merry Christmas” than you are to say “Happy Holidays”, so don’t sweat it : )
raincoaster

Golly, wouldn’t it be so much easier if they all just had little stars of David Twibbons on their avatars? We can probably come up with a few other symbols for different religions/groups. An excellent idea.

By the way, Miss Manners (who is right about all things) says it’s the sender, not the recipient, who defines appropriateness of expressions of goodwill. If Christmas means nothing to you, or it’s something that’s a negative, you don’t say “Merry Christmas.” If someone for whom it does mean something says it to you, you’re good just saying “Thank you” because it’s an expression of goodwill, not an expression of the vain hope you will convert to Christianity or something. Anyone is allowed to wish anyone a happy anything at any time, as long as they mean it when they say it. That the recipient doesn’t celebrate the specific occasion mentioned on the specific day it’s associated with does not matter at all.

Writing papers on etiquette in University finally pays off.