Daily News Features Cover Story About Beyonce…Reading Daily News Cover Story About Beyonce

Yesterday, this writer got a little bent out of shape over the sorry state of the news in this country and the focus on meaningless and trashy stories. However, not even 24 hours later, my faith in the Fourth Estate has been completely healed thanks to the work of the Daily News. Today, the New York tabloid hit pay dirt with an incredibly hard-hitting front page story. What was it? Well, it turns out that Beyoncé, the world famous singer, had read a previous Daily News front story also about Beyoncé. News!

Let me explain. Back in September, the paper published a cover announcing the incredibly fascinating news that Beyoncé, a human female, had somehow created another, smaller human inside of her and that that human was now rapidly growing in size. Seemingly amused that her pregnancy amounted to front page news*, Beyoncé filmed a little video on the set of a music video, holding the paper up and jokingly repeating the Daily News‘ enthusiastic headline, “Oh baby!”

*Oh, who am I kidding? At this point I’m sure that Beyoncé would be offended by anything less than a fleet of airplanes live-blogging her every move through sky writing.

Apparently, this was worthy of another story which was why the paper printed today’s offering, “Beyonce spotlights growing baby bump, and Daily News cover, in new YouTube video.” The story’s sub-headline, “Singer rubs tummy, crows, ‘Oh, baby!’,” says it all.

No, seriously, it says it all. Because that’s all there is.

“Superstar singer Beyoncé has posted a YouTube video that shows her reacting to a front-page story about her growing baby bump.

‘Oh, baby! Oh, baby!’ she crows while holding up a copy of New York’s Hometown Newspaper with the same two-word headline.

The video posted this week on her personal YouTube account, shows the mom-to-be dressed in a black roll-neck sweater with her hair piled high, 1960’s style.

Rubbing her tummy and posing sideways to give viewers the full effect of Jay-Z’s future child, Beyoncé made the video Sept. 23, the same day she made the front page.

‘This was on the cover of the Daily News,’ the estatic songstress says.”

Of course, that’s news. Not only was Beyoncé wearing an black sweater, she was also standing in front of a plain background which makes it easy to photoshop her into the front page image. I know that’s how Mediaite chooses its stories.

Really, I can’t wait for Beyoncé to film a video holding today’s paper. Then the Daily News can make a story about that and on and on and on with more and more Beyoncé’s stretching out until infinity until it becomes a weird fractal image that’s too complex for the human nervous system, killing anyone who looks at it, which will solve our over-population problem by ridding our city’s streets of any person who doesn’t happen to read the Post instead.

Now, that’s news!

Watch Beyoncé’s incredibly important video message below:

(h/t I’m With Kanye and Capital New York)

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