If you haven’t seen Avatar, but have been tracking its coverage over the past year or so, you already know all you need to know about the film’s success. Actually seeing it is, at best, superfluous to understanding why this one never had any chance but doing anything but packin’ em in and stuffing ‘em with popcorn and soda.

If you’ve followed any entertainment press in the past few weeks, you’ve been hit by the bright blue alien splatter that is Avatar‘s promotional campaign. Director James Cameron scored profiles in magazines like The New Yorker and Wired, while every nerdy and/or cynical blog either mocked the Jar Jar Binks-ness of it all or peed themselves in anticipation. Now, reviews of the film, which were supposed to be embargoed until December 18th in the U.S., are everywhere. Welcome to the internet!