The last time we left this feud, Brown tweeted something incoherent about blacklights and sexual activity detection with the command, “Be nice!!!” But he has had bigger fish to try than that, like the 117 parking violations he has received for parking in a handicapped spot, 95 of which have been dropped. Gutfeld quickly cut to the pressing questions: to get permission to park in a handicapped spot requires a handicap– “given that hes a violent moron, does that qualify?”

Levy seemed confused. “I thought he caused other people to have to park in handicapped spaces.”

The segment continued with some comical hearsay from Anna Gilligan about Brown’s troubled Good Morning America appearance that ed guest Mike Baker to add, “I wasn’t there in the compound in Abbottabad, but I heard they picked up some documentation on Chris Brown.” Gilligan later made the point that Brown seems to have great karma– “he gets out of everything without any real punishment!”

What’s more, beside the destructive elements to him, the panel seemed unconvinced he deserved his status as acknowledged “talented” person of some sort. Asked Gutfeld: “Should an artist have a long, successful career before being an abusive jerk?” Levy joked that, sure, Roman Polanski may be off the hook, with Bill Schulz rounding it off with the reminder that “Mel Gibson waited until he got an Oscar before allegedly hitting women.”

The segment via Fox News below:

Lady Gaga’s opener and the Britney Spears tribute were the most hyped performances of the evening, but in terms of sheer spectacle it was Brown, the cables he used to fly around the auditorium, and his cabal of insanely costumed and talented dancers that stole the show. The group of 10 year-old dancers drafted to reprise Spears’s greatest hits and most iconic outfits sort of paled in comparison.

Watch the performance below via MTV:

Really, it’s pretty hard not to come out on top if you’re arguing with Brown and, y’know, this picture exists. Still, Levy’s “apology” was pretty hilarious. We don’t want to spoil anything, but our favorite line might be when he thanks Brown’s fans for their tweets that showed him the true possibilities of “spelling, grammar, and syntax.”

Making fun of a convicted woman-beater and a bunch of teenaged Twitter users may be like shooting ducks in a barrel, but, after this brilliant take down, it seems like the Red Eye gang will be feasting on delicious foie gras tonight.

Watch the clip from Fox News below:

The offending Tweet came late last night as a retweet, in a style Levy had commonly employed before, though previously undetected by Brown himself:

The tweet apparently rankled Brown enough to cause him to block Levy, but not before replying with a message of his own, which Brown’s fans were quick to spot:

That a late-night Fox News personality somehow got into a Twitter spat with an infamous R&B celebrity would have already been newsworthy, but it is really the fans that make this a true comedy. Here is @AndyLevy’s Twitter stream.

While most of the tweets in the stream involved barely-thought-out grammatical nightmares like “your dumb” or “grow up already how old r u,” there are a few stand-out themes: that Levy was on To Catch a Predator (because he’s “too old” to be on Twitter), that he is gay, that his dislike of Chris Brown is symptomatic of being an employee at Fox News. And then there are Chris Brown fans calling for someone to “punch [Levy] in the face” and warning that he may “get robbed,” which sort of go to prove his point. A notable side feud also erupted in the feed of Red Eye pal Anthony Cumia, who vented his frustration out at Brown fans far more vocally (and profanely) than Levy did.

For the sort of incorrigible media junkie that reads our website on a routine basis, it may be difficult to realize that there is a part of the American populace that neither knows who Andy Levy is nor have ever seen Red Eye and also see in Chris Brown a role model and talented individual worth fighting someone like Levy over. Conversely, for the sort of passionate millennial hip-hop fan that would go to war over an “old man” picking on a voice of your generation with the charisma of Chris Brown, it may be difficult to understand Andy Levy’s trade and why, despite being a “grown-up with a TV show,” the idea of routinely checking in on Chris Brown to remind him he is an embarrassment would be appealing. Surely, this is the stuff John Edwards “two Americas” speeches are made of.

Unlike, say, the routine Bill O’Reilly-[insert rapper here] feuds we all know and love, this one wasn’t pursued on television, prompted by some sort of perceived indecency in earnest (not that domestic violence is decent, but Levy is certainly not the social conservative type to lecture on morals), nor was it so… democratic. In 24 hours, the story became much more about comical tweets from unknown fans than anything Levy or Brown have said, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere as of press time. But the real moral of the story? There are so many people on Twitter in 2011 that it’s possible to use the social network with full ignorance of the existence of an entire population on it. Unfortunately for these two social spheres– but fortunately for us– their ignorance of each other, thanks to one tweet, cannot be repaired.

Ingraham is out and about promoting her book, Of Thee I Zing, much of which is dedicated to the “culture wars” and the influence that rappers have on children. Brown, of course, is a bit of a different example as his most prominent contribution to American society has been getting arrested for beating up former girlfriend Rihanna. O’Reilly admits that he has no idea what any of Chris Brown’s songs are– and there at least this author is in concert. He also reads, quite comically, one of the tweets in response to Ingraham attacking him on Today this morning: “They mad because of the level of real people who live in this world. Not to mention their ratings probably sucked.” “Apparently, Mr. Brown does not live on this planet,” O’Reilly joked, adding to Ingraham that Brown probably “did you a favor” since his attack went out “over the internet tweeting system or whatever it’s called.

Ingraham replied that she had a problem with their “negative and depraved attitude towards women,” and explains that it was not only Brown, but 50 Cent that came out “and he slams me, and that’s find… it’s the same degrading lyrics and degrading words.” She then argues that the abusive language is a product of them being unable to but together an argument. “I’d like to see them come on the program here,” O’Reilly replied, “Mr. Brown and Mr. ‘Fiddy…’ They’re welcome anytime to come on.” O’Reilly noted that he had extended a similar invitation to Ludacris many years ago and the conversation was fruitful. “But it’s gotten worse” since then, Ingraham argued, and O’Reilly had to agree: “it’s gotten worse because it’s gotten more accepted.”

While a 50 Cent/Bill O’Reilly debate would’ve been a ratings bonanza in 2004, one can imagine that watching O’Reilly– or anyone, really– tear Chris Brown apart, whose likability ratings are probably somewhere in between Casey Anthony and Rod Blagojevich would be a major draw.

The segment via Fox News below:

Man, an ugly Twitter fight? Ingraham’s going to get enough content for at least four more “OUR CULTURE IS BEING DEGRADED” books.

A few hours after Brown’s appearance on Today, Ingraham was guest hosting The O’Reilly Factor and she laid into the singer with a segment titled “NBC Rewarding Bad Behavior?” in which she showed clips of a producer confronting Brown’s fans with pictures of Rihanna’s battered face. Unsurprisingly, Brown was not thrilled. What is surprising is that he and 50 Cent apparently watch The O’Reilly Factor.

Soon, Ingraham responded:

As of yet, neither Brown nor 50 Cent have continued the fight although their fans have and, considering that Brown’s performance on Friday broke attendance records, it’s clear that there are still a lot of them. A quick look at the response has inevitably turned up everything from calm pleas for forgiveness to violent expletives and threats.

Like all battles between self-righteous TV personalities and troubled, violent musicians, this feud will most likely be beneficial to everyone involved. And that includes, of course, those of us watching from the sidelines.

Below, watch Ingraham’s segment on Brown from last Friday courtesy of Fox News:

Execs at BET are apologizing today for “human error” that led to an extremely awkward moment at the network’s BET Awards Sunday night. A music fan chosen to announce the viewer’s choice award had a moment of clear on-camera confusion, leading to a most awkward screwup, announcing the right winner, then correcting herself, naming someone else, before yet a third name was announced. The mistake, officials with the awards show explained, may have been caused by a conflict between what was written on the smartphone in the fan’s hand (taking the place of a printed envelope with a winner’s name) and what was written on the teleprompter in the hall.

As The Washington Post describes the moment, it was pure no-nets TV when the show clearly needed a net:

When it came time for lovely Tiffany’s close-up, she looked at her smartphone.

She squinted at the teleprompter.

Tiffany appeared confused – as though they contained conflicting information.

What would Tiffany do?

“And the winner is – Chris Brown?” Tiffany finally said, but without any real conviction.

But, before Brown could walk up on stage to accept, Tiffany corrected herself:

I’m sorry – Rihanna!”

The correct answer, ultimately was Chris Brown, but not before the audience booed and gasped and at least one non-winner strolled onstage.

Watch it here, from CNN:

“I just don’t know why this kid seems to be held to a different standard than anyone else,” O’Donnell tells executive producer Janette Barber on the March 29th edition of her program, to which Barber responds that she can’t help but wonder if race is an issue (O’Donnell addressed the issue only this week as she had been on vacation). “I totally think there is,” O’Donnell replied, “and I also think it’s why he felt he was safer with Robin Roberts.” O’Donnell doesn’t flesh out this point at all other than later adding that she felt “badly” for Chris Brown and “mildly angry” at Roberts while watching her interview with Brown. Given the context, however, it wouldn’t be amiss to interpret it as an accusation of some sort of racial betrayal on Roberts’ part not to go easier on Brown, an accusation that leaves O’Donnell’s further point– which could perhaps have some merit– exposed to all kinds of criticism.

That further point that gets lost somewhere along the Roberts accusation trail she later elaborated on, adding that she did “think that there is a societal paradigm in which you have to be an angel or a thug if you’re a black male.” For this, O’Donnell cites Tupac Shakur as an example of a rapper caught in between the two extremes. That more nuanced argument that there is a history of easily maligning black male stars as violent is one that could be corroborated, especially if the fact pattern being examined is only the story in which Brown throws a chair through a window and everyone panics, or the possible career setbacks Kanye West experienced at grabbing a microphone away from Taylor Swift.

But to leave the domestic abuse issue hanging without addressing what really put the last nail in Brown’s career’s coffin makes it very difficult to take O’Donnell’s sympathy for Brown seriously. Though, before going there, it is worthy of note that rumors of the death of Chris Brown’s career have been greatly exaggerated; his album is currently #1 on the Billboard charts. But the image that really set back Brown’s career had nothing to do with skin color or broken studio– it was this photo of a beaten Rihanna after police found her. Sure, white stars have committed domestic abuse and not gotten anywhere near as much public humiliation as Brown (Charlie Sheen, weird drug-infused performance art folk hero, comes to mind). Had O’Donnell laid that argument on the table, she may have been able to cultivate a meager, albeit respectable, point of defense for Brown. Not addressing the battered elephant in the room does a major disservice to what could, with the benefit of the doubt, have been construed as valid racial/sociological commentary and renders it contrarian blather.

Below is the full audio from Rosie O’Donnell’s radio program:



[h/t Radio Equalizer]

Chris Brown broke a window in a violent tantrum on Tuesday after being questioned about the 2009 assault of then-girlfriend Rhianna. Brown later tweeted: “I’m so over people bringing this past shit up!!! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for their bullshit.”

Chris, we praise Charlie Sheen not because he’s assaulted women in the past, but because he’s a tigerblooded warlock who doesn’t have time to waste on the haters. Breaking a window is the opposite of that. By Wednesday, Brown’s temper had cooled, offering an apology in this BET appearance.

Elizabeth Taylor passed away Wednesday at the age of 79. Ironically, the New York Times writer who penned Ms. Taylor’s obituary himself died over six years ago. We took a look at the 100 best photos of the legendary beauty, counted her husbands, and poured over 26 facts you probably never knew about her.

The unstoppable Rebecca Black machine continues to captivate people the world-over. With over 40 million views, Friday has surpassed Lady Gaga’s latest release Born This Way and shows no signs of slowing any time soon. Despite being famous as the song everybody loves to hate, Gaga recognizes Black’ genius. Even Conan O’Brien has jumped on the Friday parody Blackwagon.

>>> NEXT: Victoria Jackson takes on Glee and more!

Brown appeared on BET‘s 106 & Park and according to a transcript of his appearance said:

“First of all, I want to apologize to anybody who was startled in the office, or anybody who was offended or really looked, and [was] disappointed at my actions . . . because I’m disappointed in the way I acted.”

Brown apologized for getting emotional and for releasing “the anger that I had inside of me” as a result of the repeated questions regarding his domestic abuse incident with singer Rihanna. Addressing his fans, Brown said “Robin Roberts, do not send any threats (to her) . . . we need to be more positive and focus on the real issues in life.”

One of the real issues though is whether ABC News should be so forgiving of Brown’s behavior simply because of his celebrity status. In a convincing open letter to the producers of GMA, one furious critic wonders “what kind of pandering, pro-violence, egomania-enabling, f*cked up world without consequences (for a chosen few) do you live in, you assholes?” Although maybe the critic is just hopeful that such violent language can land him a guest spot on GMA too?

Watch a report on the apology from ABC below:

Good Morning America‘s Robin Roberts took time Wednesday morning to talk about Chris Brown, the R&B star who seemed somewhat less than thrilled with his interview with Roberts Tuesday. “I was shocked like everybody else,” she said.

Appearing on GMA–he hoped–to talk about his new CD and to perform Yeah 3X, Roberts asked about Brown’s legal problems stemming from the beating he delivered to his ex-girlfriend Rihanna.

Brown apparently thinks people shouldn’t still be interested in that.

GMA showed the smashed window in Brown’s dressing room and even a cooler they say the singer threw in a fit of post-interview rage. And yes, Roberts says, Brown was informed ahead of time he would be asked about Rihanna. Roberts said she thought Brown was “joking” when he seemed irritated during the interview, and said the show’s extended an invitation to have him back on GMA (windowless dressing room next time?).

Watch it here, from ABC:

“As always, we ask questions that are relevant and newsworthy, and that’s what we did in this interview with Mr. Brown,” said an ABC spokesman.

Brown explained later via Twitter that he’s “so over people bringing this past s–t up!!! Yet we praise Charlie Sheen and other celebs for there bulls–t.”

ABC reported the star’s behavior led employees to call police:

Brown stormed off stage and went back to his dressing room. Then he came back down the hall, still backstage, and stopped upon seeing the person who produced the segment. Brown didn’t have his shirt on.
The show’s hair and makeup staff said they had called security because they heard loud noises coming from Brown’s dressing room.
It was then discovered that a window had been smashed in Brown’s dressing room. The thick glass was destroyed.
By the time the smashed window was discovered, Brown and his team had left the building. Paparazzi photos show the singer shirtless outside “GMA’s” Times Square studio.

Watch the GMA interview here, from ABC:

As much as Brown still suffers from image problems, and deservedly so, the performance was a reminder that the dude is seriously talented. And we have to appreciate his unapologetic commitment to dancing over pretending to sing live!

Watch below from NBC:

Now news of another ABC celebrity booking comes out – ABC’s 20/20 will air a Chris Brown interview next month.

TVNewser reports the interview was taped last weekend, and the Robin Roberts sit-down will air on December 11 in full, with clips airing on GMA earlier in the week.

There is clearly no direct correlation between the Lambert cancellation and the Brown booking, but the juxtaposition may raise concerns for those who were angered by ABC’s Lambert decision. ABC would have given Lambert a platform to perform again, and would also have gotten the attention-getting post-interview. Instead, that went to CBS, who picked up after ABC canceled, and the performance proved to be rather mild.

Meanwhile Brown, who pleaded guilty to assault of Rihanna, his girlfriend at the time, has done several interviews, going back to one with Larry King on CNN in August. This interview with Roberts will likely touch on the same themes. But it also provides a platform for Brown to talk comeback – and his new CD. It gets released a few days after the 20/20 interview airs.

Is it fair to compare the two situations? Maybe. The New York Post quotes an ABC source who says “the network is giving a mixed message,” while another insider says it is still being determined whether Brown will get to perform a song. But Lambert will be back on ABC again soon as well, as part of Barbara Walters‘ “Most Fascinating People” special.

On somewhat of a tangent, check out the only real way Brown can make his comeback – with his first big single and unique video for “Transform Ya”:

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ABC hit #1 in the A18-34 demo with 8.2 million viewers for its biggest numbers in that demo of the past 3 years, according to TVNewser. The number’s were also the show’s biggest audience in 7 months.

The segment begins biographically about the singer’s youth in Barbados, but moves quickly onto the budding romance between Rihanna and Brown, two “supernovas” who met when she was 16 and he was 15. “He was definitely my first big love,” she says in the interview. “The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became for each other. Equally as dangerous, because it was a bit of an obsession.”

Rihanna tells the story of a text message from an old girlfriend of Brown’s and her anger over his lies. It escalated to violence and “it was ugly,” she says. “I feel humiliated. I get angry all over again. Every time I see it the whole thing plays back in my head,” Rihanna says about the infamous TMZ photo of her bruised and battered face. “He had no soul in his eyes. Just blank. He was clearly blacked-out. There was no person when I looked at him,” she tells Sawyer.

The intense and extensive interview continues through the public apologies — from YouTube to Larry King Live — detailing the couple’s attempted reconciliation, break up and beyond. Together, Sawyer and Rihanna watch Brown’s stiff online video apology and though the singer claims it is the first time she has seen it, her skepticism is automatic. “He might have been reading off of a teleprompter,” she says. “It sounds like he’s reading.”

In all, the media brouhaha surrounding the relationship and the crime is profoundly sad. Both forwent childhood in favor of fame — a fame they’re now struggling to maintain in the aftermath of a controversy far beyond the grasp of their teenage fans. From Diane Sawyer to Larry King, both seem to be pleading for understanding not only of their tempers, violence and victimhood, but also forgiveness for their immaturity and inability to weather the spotlight. Both have upcoming albums due before the year’s end.

Below is the first part of Rihanna’s 20/20 interview and the rest can be found here.

In much the same way his August Larry King interview didn’t help his reputation, this one isn’t going to do much for him either.

Here’s the first part of the interview, which Hot97.com has done a great job posting in near real-time.

“I feel like I would never have had to have this kind of interview with you,” said Martinez at the beginning. “How should we feel about you? Should we not be mad at you? Why shouldn’t we be?”

“It’s not really a thing of like, how you should feel, I feel like you should just be human, because at the end of the day I’m human,” Brown said. Well – it’s not much of an apology (he got to that a little later), but it sets the stage for his line of crisis control.

Martinez asked if anyone every told him he should never hit a woman:

Martinez: Did anybody tell you that?
Brown: Of course! (pause) It just went bad.
M: How does your family feel about what happened?
B: My dad, he was disappointed in me, but at the end of the day he wanted to make sure he stuck by my side.

Some other quotes:
• “In one moment everybody loves you and in the next they turn their back on you.”

• “I know ya’ll seen me on Larry King and everything with the bowtie…I know everybody wanted to know, and everybody’s still trying to know, what it was, but out of respect for me and my privacy and her definitely, I don’t really talk about it and I don’t want to get into it.”

And how’s this for an apology-
• “At the end of the day I’m sorry for what I did, whatever it is, but only Shorty and me know what it was, what happened in the car.”

For what it’s worth, it sounded much worse on the radio than in print. To top off all the poor PR surrounding Brown’s redemptive push, his single, out today, upstaged Rihanna’s new single, which debuted yesterday.

It’s not an easy road back for Brown – there’s very little he can say to make people feel like it’s time to move on and appreciate his music again. But this seems like, once again, the wrong way to go.

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Or maybe it’s the fact that this snazzy 75-year old shops at Juicy Couture, but for whatever the reason, “celebrity” douchebags alike think that Larry King can save them from their swift decline into official American public scum.

Jon Gosselin told King on Larry King Live last night that a sudden “epiphany” (after four years of taping the reality TV show,  Jon & Kate Plus 8, for the TLC network) made him finally realize that subjecting his 8 young children to constantly being filmed (and now during a highly publicized/messy divorce) might not be so healthy.

Suspiciously enough, Gosselin’s appearance on the show came two days after TLC officially announced that their most popular TV show would be changing its name to Kate Plus Eight and that Gosselin would no longer be an integral part of filming, which thanks to the public’s weird fascination and hankering for all things dysfunctional, has caused the ratings to drop.

During the segment in which Gosselin, who’s face has been plastered on numerous tabloid covers this past year with rumored and confirmed accounts of cheating on his wife, very strategically avoided Kings’ important questions (mainly the one where King confronted Gosselin on the fact that his sudden utter despair over his children being filmed came right after the network decided to pretty much cut him out of the show).

His well choreographed tap dancing routine around certain questions and very convenient epiphany are pretty reminiscent of Chris Brown’s sudden (selective) amnesia during his desperate attempt to look like less of a girlfriend beating douchebag on Larry King Live back in August.

But even with a powder blue bow tie and his mother in tears by his side, it’s pretty clear by these comments from the Larry King Live blog and this poll on the New York Daily News website, that it’s gonna take way more than a suspender wearing, juicy couture shopping TV host to get America to like him again.

So if Brown, who unlike Gosselin actually has some sort of talent to rely on along with a pretty devout fan base, couldn’t get a bone thrown at home after Larry King Live, well, then, let’s just say, Gosselin is pretty…f*cked.

Though Brown has since claimed to be the victim of unfair editing, that he would ever try the “don’t recall” tack is highly suspicious, and reeks of an unwillingness to take responsibility. It does, however, put him in a long lineage of American politicians, who use the legally shrewd but morally dubious strategy whenever they want to duck out of a screw-up without setting themselves up for perjury charges further down the road.

Politicians of all stripes tend to be slippery. But given the preponderance of conservatives who’ve used this particular tactic, we have to wonder: is Chris Brown, who criticized the Republican National Convention for its lack of diversity, a closet Republican?

1. Senator Larry Craig

Larry Craig, of course, is the Republican senator from Idaho who was arrested by an undercover officer for allegedly soliciting gay sex in a bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport. When Matt Lauer asked him whether his feet brushed the officer’s, he answered “I don’t know — it was possible. But I don’t recall that.” But give Craig credit: even when police interrogated him right after the incident, he said “I don’t recall” to four different questions.

2. Ronald Reagan

Reagan arguably perfected the “I don’t recall” defense during the Iran-Contra hearings, when he brushed off seemingly every big question about his involvement by saying he didn’t remember the details. As The New York Times records,

”I have to point out that this continued saying of ‘I don’t recall,’ that so many meetings – and I have been told by statisticians that my average of meeting with people was about 80 a day for eight years – that I don’t recall these meetings,” Mr. Reagan said. ”And not because they weren’t important, and I am sure that I dealt with things at the time, but I just – I just don’t recall such a meeting, and certainly not by being able to say on what day it occurred.”

Which is to say: important, busy presidents are too busy to remember if they authorized funneling $30 million to right-wing guerillas via Iran.

3. Bill Clinton

When Clinton was questioned about Paula Jones, his testimony was peppered with “I don’t recalls,” and when he was questioned about Monica Lewinsky, he fired off another “I don’t recall” in response to the question “At any time were you and Monica Lewinsky alone together in the Oval Office?” In fact, for the rest of his grand jury testimony about her he was remarkably firm that he hadn’t had any untoward contact with her — which is what allowed Ken Starr to go after him for perjury. Maybe those waffling answers serve a purpose after all.

4. John McCain

The New York Times story on John McCain’s own untoward contact with lobbyist Vicki Iseman could have been the speed bump that set his presidential bid careening over the edge — but thanks to an overreliance on unsourced quotes, the Times was forced to apologize and correct the article. Still, in light of the evidence, it seemed fishy when McCain was asked during a 2002 ethics deposition if he had ever flown on a corporate jet with Iseman and he said he couldn’t recall.

The season will begin without Burress, a Super Bowl hero, who was sentenced to two years in prison for possessing the handgun with which he shot himself in the leg. And yet it’s widely accepted that he caught a bum rap, showing that the court of public opinion often works antithetically to our justice system. It will be a while before we see or hear from Plax again — he seems harmless, but he’s doing hard time.

And then there’s Vick and Brown, tumbling from their hard-earned pedestals due to violent acts, and yet all but forgiven by the courts. Their parallels are difficult to ignore: both were young, exceptionally talented, and wealthy before committing high-profile, dastardly crimes. But with their repentance tours simultaneously in full effect, who’s the biggest bad guy? Are either of them truly remorseful, and if so, do they have a shot at forgiveness or will they continue to be vilified? We run down their ongoing media narratives below.

Rise to fame

Vick: As a quarterback at Virgina Tech, Vick was as flashy as he was fast. The playmaker’s quick feet lead to a Heisman Trophy nomination and Vick eventually became the first overall selection in the 2001 NFL Draft. That spring, Vick signed a six year, $62 million contract, the largest ever for a rookie at the time.

Brown: Chris Brown released his eponymous debut album at the age of 16, and the record went on to sell two million copies. With quick feet of his own, Brown was touted as a new school Michael Jackson, often paying homage to the King of Pop with his costumes and choreography.

Crimes

Vick: In 2007, a federal investigation into illegal dog fighting activities at Bad Newz Kennels on Vick’s property lead to felony charges of financing an interstate gambling operation, in addition to participating in the dog fights. After his three co-defendents pleaded guilty, Vick followed, though the men “told of how Vick participated in the killing of dogs that didn’t perform well in test fights by shooting, hanging, drowning or slamming them to the ground,” according to ESPN.

Brown: Earlier this year, Chris Brown was charged with felony assault and making threats against his R&B singer girlfriend Rihanna. Although unidentified in police reports, a photo of the battered singer was ubiquitous in the following weeks, while details of the beating included Brown biting Rihanna, slamming her head against the car door and threatening to kill her.

Penance

Vick: Pleaded guilty and eventually served 18 months of a 23 month sentence.

Brown: After initially pleading not guilty, Brown accepted a plea bargain, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to community service, counseling and five years of probation.

Leading attackers in the press

Vick: PETA was steadfast in its condemnation of Vick, even withdrawing its offer to sponsor an anti-dogfighting PSA with the disgraced football star after his release. “Saying sorry and getting his ball back after being caught enjoying killing dogs in hideously cruel ways for many years doesn’t cut it,” said PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk, who also recommended Vick undergo a brain scan and complete psychiatric evaluation.

Brown: Various women’s organizations and agencies against domestic violence spoke out repeatedly against Brown, especially after his light sentencing. Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women said, “Paris Hilton got more jail time than Chris Brown did for beating a woman to a pulp,” while Rita Smith, executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, was quoted as saying, “If we give them a break, we give them a shorter sentence or less consequence, it basically just says this wasn’t such a big deal.”

Road to redemption

Vick: In his first interview upon release, Vick spoke with 60 Minutes, telling the television newsmagazine that he “cried so many nights” over the guilty he felt, and claimed to blame only himself. Yet his repentance was met by some understandable skepticism, as Vick came off something between cardboard and an opportunist — you could almost see the dollar signs in his eyes as imagined another NFL contract. Still, Vick was conditionally reinstated by the league and has since signed a one-year deal (worth $1.6 million) with the Philadelphia Eagles.

Brown: Chris Brown’s first public comment came in the form of a vague YouTube apology that left the performer looking wooden as he baldly read the cold, unspecific statement. After sentencing, Brown may have encountered a stroke of luck when a charming wedding video went viral, featuring one of Brown’s songs which then shot to the top of the iTunes chart. The singer may have squandered that fleeting goodwill, though, as we brace ourselves for his forthcoming interview with Larry King, set to air on Wednesday. In a particularly baffling preview, Brown tells King that he doesn’t remember “doing it,” only to release a statement blaming his amnesia on CNN’s editing.

Verdict

When it comes to his villainous association, Vick is lucky enough to now have most of the Philadelphia faithful on his side, too hungry for a championship to care. Combined with the fact that he served his time and the crime hurt no humans, as soon as the man converts a third-and-short with a nimble QB sneak, the cheers will overpower the rest.

As for Brown, unless tomorrow’s appearance on Larry King Live is shocking in its self-reproach, the young singer has a chokehold on the title of Biggest Bad Guy. Only time will tell if we are truly a land of forgiveness, but sometimes a New York Post cover is hard to forget.

Though the sheer amount of press both Vick and Brown have received reinforces the cult of celebrity, it’s simply impossible to glean too much sympathy as long as details of these gruesome crimes are being reiterated. For all of their talent and contrition, both men are lucky to have any supporters at all; their respective fanbases have weathered a hell of a media storm, quite relentless in its unavoidable negativity. And yet maybe moral considerations are for naught, as it’s likely that regardless of the general public’s forgiveness, both men will have lucrative futures in the entertainment marketplace.

And despite what had to have been heavy coaching, the disgraced pop star comes off looking like a bigger douchebag than before.

Wearing a ridiculous powder blue bowtie and big bling in his ears, Brown is flanked by his mother and his celebu-lawyer Mark Geragos. For some reason, the decision was conveyed for him to express his remorse by claiming he doesn’t remember what happened.

And if he had a pre-planned script for the appearance, he went rogue pretty early on. Here’s an actual transcript of one of his answers:

Brown: I just, when I look at the police reports, or I hear about the police reports I don’t know, I don’t know what to think. I just don’t know what to think. It’s just like, wow.

You don’t know what to think, Chris Brown? Really? How about ‘I need help, because I just beat my girlfriend to the point where her face looked like this.’

Here’s more:

King: Do you remember doing it?
Brown: No.
King: You don’t remember doing it?
Brown: I don’t, I don’t, it’s like, it’s crazy to me, I’m like, wow.

This doesn’t sound like someone particularly remorseful, or even like someone who comprehends the gravity of what he’s done. But it also sounds like someone who just isn’t ready to step back into the spotlight and answer for his crimes.

Over on the Larry King Live blog, the comments are largely, and predictably, anti-Brown. There are those big fans, whose misspelled statements of love for the star show the often incomprehensible truth of our overly forgiving nation – and the powerful cult of celebrity.

Of course, this is just one minute of a lengthy interview, but King provides a generally welcome forum for a person to clear the air and begin the process of rescuing an image. It doesn’t appear like Brown was ready to step up (as he proved last month as well).

> Update: GossipCop.com has proof Brown seemed to have no problem remembering the night in question in an earlier interview. And now Brown is speaking out about CNN’s editing.

Here’s the clip: