David Hasselhoff once promised that he would be there for TV viewers, “forever and always.” Unfortunately, A&E saw things differently. Willa Paskin of Vulture reported last night that The Hoff’s brand new reality show—titled, of course, The Hasselhoffs—has been canceled already, even though only two episodes of the show have aired so far.

As the truism goes, David Hasselhoff is beloved in Germany. But American TV viewers, apparently, have better things to do with their time.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians style A&E show Hasselhoffs premiered to disappointing ratings on Sunday night:

The promotional photos for what promises to be the most exciting season of Dancing With the Stars for media junkies since Tucker Carlson‘s one-hit wonder performance are out– time to speculate over why Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino missed the photo shoot and get outraged about the length of Bristol Palin‘s dress!

More proof that it’s August and Shark Week may no longer be enough to hold our attention during the dog days: The Friars Club decided to Roast David Hasselhoff. That’s a pretty low-hanging roast, as it were. Said host Seth MacFarlane: “How can you embarrass a man who so thoroughly embarrasses himself?” Yes, well.

I am not a car person — have never been, never will be. I still don’t really even understand the “Cash For Clunkers” story. However! Turns out that, without knowing how to change the oil or why V-8 doesn’t just pertain to vegetable juice, I knew a whole lot about cars (even people who ain’t too clever/can learn to tighten a nut forever!).