Larry, the official cat for 10 Downing Street, the residence of the British Prime Minister, is being accused of shirking his official duties as “mouser-in-chief.” This is somehow an actual story, but what really makes it odd is that Prime Minister David Cameron is actually defending the cat against apparent calls for it to step down from its position.

Ron Burgundy, meet your British counterpart. Ortis Deley, a British television personality, has been fired from his job as main presenter of Channel 4′s coverage of the IAAF World Championship in Athletics. Why, after a few days on the job, would he be suddenly let go from this high-profile hosting gig?

Remember those riots in England that we were all fixated on for a few days before our attention turned to other stuff? Well, you may have heard that Parliament was actually considering temporary blocks on social media sites during times of violent unrest.

Texting while driving is never a good idea. Calling while driving is similarly frowned upon. But texting AND calling? That might be a little too much.

One of the nice things about having a Bill of Rights is that it specifically lays out freedoms given to the people and the press. The U.S. Constitution declares that freedom of speech and freedom of the press can never be infringed upon. Unfortunately, if you live in a nation where this is not clearly stated, you can legally censor media outlets without fear or repercussion.

Rupert Murdoch doesn’t have many friends left. After, in his words, the most humble day of his life, the testimony he gave before Parliament about the scandal that brought down News of the World seems to have done little to ingratiate him with an outraged public. The backlash has tempted many to go after all of News Corp and the press in general, with the rage perhaps most succinctly captured by this outrageous title in the L.A. Times today: “Tabloids Don’t Deserve the First Amendment.”

After James Murdoch announced earlier today that the News of the World would be printing its final edition on Sunday, a spokesman for UK Prime Minister David Cameron said everyone at the paper involved in illegal activities should be brought to justice.

President Obama’s lack of experience with royalty was on full display today in England as he mistakenly began a toast to the Queen of England at the wrong time, resulting in “God Save the Queen” blaring over his words and no one getting to drink what was in their cups. Awkward.

President Obama has a lot on his mind and maybe that’s his excuse for the mistake he made during his visit to the Westminster Abbey. During his extensive London tour of visiting Buckingham Palace with the Queen of England and meeting with Prime Minister David Cameron, Obama strangely signed the guestbook at the Westminster Abbey with the wrong date.

Save for a handful of adorable old ladies, no one cares about Prince What’s-his-name and that chick getting married. But the American media is sending their best and brightest to England to pretend to care next week, and that means etiquette lessons! CNN’s Isha Sesay gave Anderson Cooper a crash course in handling royalty last night and, judging from the results, there’s at least a moderate chance of Cooper causing an international incident.

BP CEO Tony Hayward really, really wanted his life back, and now that he has it, he’s making the most of it on the Isle of Wight, where he is attending a yachting event to watch his boat “Bob” race across the clean, crystalline waters of Europe. Remember when it was possible to “yacht” around in the Gulf of Mexico?

So, if anyone wasn’t clear that England, once our greatest new ally, is now our enemy, the brave men and women of Dodge and Madison Avenue have revved up their engines, honked their horns, pounded a sixer, and made it abundantly clear. A new commercial, posted on YouTube last week and steadily gaining traction, features George Washington gunning his Dodge Challenger towards a bunch of Red Coats as they cower in terror. I’m not sure, but I believe the moral of the clip is, “Trucks are awesome and, also, f**k you, England! Whoo!”

The UK Telegraph is reporting that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has committed a major “diplomatic faux pas” against America’s closest allies across the pond: sending Queen Elizabeth a warm birthday greeting a week early. Neither Department of State representatives nor Buckingham Palace spokespeople seem to mind, but the Telegraph is treating it as if someone had mistakenly printed an obituary.

In 1993, Tom Weir penned a column for USA Today stating his thoughts on this country and fútbol: “Hating soccer is more American than apple pie, driving a pickup, or spending Saturday afternoons channel surfing with the remote control.”

This morning, Gordon Brown announced that he would be resigning as Prime Minister by September. His resignation follows the general election last week which resulted in a hung parliament despite the Conservative Party winning the most seats. Brown stepping down as the leader of the Labour Party will lead to another election for a new Prime Minister

It’s 1984 all over again, and not just because everyone is terrified of Big Brother. Right-wing blog RedState.com is up in arms over what author Dan Specter is calling President Obama’s “latest outrage”– his refusal to take a stance regarding the ongoing territorial dispute between Argentina and the United Kingdom over the Falkland/Malvina Islands (population: 3,140 people; 500,000 sheep).

Sky News reported yesterday on a group of seven hospital employees from Wiltshire, England who were suspended recently. The reason given – their supposed participation in the “Lying Down Game.”

The follow-up question would be, ‘What the hell is the Lying Down Game?’