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On Tuesday’s Late Night, host Jimmy Fallon decided to open up the suggestion box, and spread some holiday cheer by tweaking a couple animated holiday classics. His first task? Making Frosty the Snowman say something other than “Happy Birthday” when the top hat lands on his head and he springs to life.

Last week, it was a “gate rape-y” threat to democracy as we know it, but this week, the TSA scandal seems almost Norman Rockwell-esque in its fading imprint on our microscopic news cycle. After a two week run as the story, the panic over pat-downs and nekkid scans evaporated faster than you can say “Wikileaks.” It’s still disconcerting that this news item about Black Eyed Peas sensation Fergie‘s own TSA scan evoked an odd feeling of nostalgia, the kind usually reserved for a Yakov Smirnoff “What a country!” joke.

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Wow. What an age we live in. On one network, Adam Lambert is banned for being lewd and lascivious; on another, “Frosty the Snowman” is celebrated for it. Yes that’s right: CBS has taken that favorite holiday classic and defiled it with porn, boobs and a pretty clear reference to crabs.