Dante Autullo was working on a ladder in his Orland Park garage when he lost control of a nail gun and accidentally smacked it against his head. He texted a photo of the small scratch on his scalp to his fiance Gail Glaenzer, and thought nothing more of it.

Well, that’s unsettling: The Internet has unearthed this photo of Mythbusters stars Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage posing with pint-sized simulacrums of themselves.

Along with a few other prominent sites, Wikipedia and reddit to name a couple, Google has come out in protest of SOPA. Though they didn’t take the blackout route like Wikipedia and reddit, which would’ve brought the Internet to something that would amount to a near-complete halt, Google displayed their feelings about SOPA with a tasteful Google Doodle, a simple black censor bar covering the iconic Google logo.

Fishing in a kayak half a mile off the coast of Sarasota, Florida a man was greeted with a surprising guest swimming up to his boat, Barney the dog. The fisherman quickly reeled in his fishing line once he saw the dog — something I’m not sure if I would be quick enough to realize to do — and pulled Barney into his kayak. He dried the dog off and headed for shore, and during this time, Barney was perched on the back of kayak, a very small space, too afraid to move, clearly traumatized in some way. Obviously, small dogs don’t regularly end up half a mile out to sea, and it was apparent by that and the way the little guy was acting that he was involved in something unfortunate. It turned out Barney was involved in a deadly DUI crash; he was out for a jog with his owner, and a drunk driver struck and killed her not too long before the dog fled to sea. Fortunately, the story doesn’t end badly for poor Barney.

Did you know that some people believe that President Obama was part of a super-secret project that involved time-travel and visiting Mars to establish America’s “territorial sovereignty” in the 1980s? Of course you didn’t, you were too busy trying to find his real birth certificate. That’s what one wacky conspiracy theory website “uncovered,” except, unlike most wacky conspiracy theories, this one got the White House to confirm whether it is true. The short answer: um, no.

This bearded dragon is way better at Ant Crusher than the rest of us, and also looks more adorable playing it. To be fair, she’s probably not particularly happy, thinking she’s catching a buffet of ant dinner, only to come back from the screen with nothing on her tongue. It sure is adorable how she keeps looking back up at the person filming, though, even if it is to say, “…the hell is this?”

As it turns out, there’s a Troy, Michigan native among our flock here at Abrams Media. Geekosystem’s Max Eddy hails from the very city whose mayor, Janice Daniels, currently finds herself inspiring a protest demanding her immediate resignation.

Pictured above is a giant weta. Actually, it’s a giant giant weta. You see, giant wetas are, as a species, larger than any other species of insect currently in existence. The one above is the largest particular giant weta, a goliath of goliaths. The specimen was found by former park ranger Mark Moffett on Little Barrier Island in New Zealand, the only place giant wetas are known to currently live. Surprisingly enough, Moffett was actually looking for the bugs, so the discovery was something to be celebrated, not something to be feared and haunted by, as I initially assumed upon seeing the picture.

Lt. John Pike may have just earned himself a place in Internet history, all thanks to his questionable tactic of walking nonchalantly past a group of peaceful Occupy protestors at the University of California Davis while liberally dispensing pepper spray. While many indellible images have come out of the recent police crackdowns across the country, the one of Pike has reached a transcendent status due to some clever Photoshopping.

Given that Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I think I’ll take today to be thankful that I am not a toad with a parasitic worm in its eye, like this toad that has a parasitic worm in its eye. That said, he seems to be pretty OK with it. Still, it’s pretty gross. See how long you can watch it before you start feeling phantom worms wigglin’ and squigglin’ in your own ey-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

According to the Navy Times, the aircraft carrier George H.W. Bush (CVN-77) has been struggling with some critical technical difficulties since it began its first deployment. Namely, that it has been extremely hard to keep all the $6.2 billion carrier’s toilets functioning. According to sources onboard the ship, there have been times when none of the carrier’s 423 toilets have been available for use. The horror of this situation is brought into sharp focus when you remember that the ship carries some 5,000 sailors.

If you ever needed irrefutable proof that both the Muppets and professional wrestling are completely real, here you have it. In a recent match, Beaker, of the Muppets, provided wrestler Santino Marella with a Muppets’ Lab energy drink intended to give “speed, power, and agility.” While it didn’t appear to do that, it did help Marella win the match. There is now no question in my mind why people don’t take professional wrestling seriously: Because there isn’t nearly enough of this.

Under Steve Jobs, Apple changed how most people listen to music and established a gold standard for both smart phones and tablet computers. All this while the company’s set-top box called Apple TV has seen only modest sales. However, excerpts from Jobs’ forthcoming authorized biography by Walter Isaacson suggest that Apple’s assault on the living room is only just starting.

Isaacson said that Jobs wanted

In a move that we can all get behind, hacker group Anonymous has announced that they have taken down a huge cache of child pornography and released 1,589 usernames of the website’s patrons. The action came as part of Operation Darknet, which targets illicit websites that are part of an unindexed and therefore unsearchable corner of the Internet.

hough the iPhone 4S is enjoying meteoric sales, some were disappointed that the latest Apple smartphone wasn’t a more radical upgrade. However, a recent note from Rodman & Renshaw analyst Ashok Kumar could give insight as to why the 4S seems so modest. According to Kumar, the final project of the now deceased Apple visionary and founder Steve Jobs is an as-yet unannounced next generation iPhone.

Its seems that the FAA recently investigated what is probably the most, um, interesting possible violation they’ve ever witnessed. Alex Torres, a porn performer pornformer who also goes by the name of Voodoo, released a video of himself skydiving while having sex with Hope Howell, a receptionist at the Skydive Taft where he worked as a skydiving instructor. They met up with a pilot to film the video early in the morning, when no one would see the event going down live.

According to a survey by Goldsmiths at the University of London, 1 in 10 people in the U.K. leave social networking passwords in their will. The survey also showed that more than a quarter of the subjects have digital media (music, videos, etc.) that they feel the need to pass on to family members. Ever since personal computers and digital cameras became household necessities, the days of inheriting photo albums have been essentially over. It’s funny to think that the days of inheriting hard drives may have come and gone so fast.

Submitted for your approval, a child introduced to the iPad at a young age, exposed to its various delights of light and sound, unable to comprehend a magazine. The video shows that this 1-year-old baby, after being introduced to an iPad, has become trained by its (admittedly elegant) user interface to repeatedly try and use a glossy magazine the same way. Needless to say, it doesn’t work.

n an installment of Watchmen Broadcasting’s flagship program Club36, a Georgia-based evangelical Christian program, recently uploaded to these great Internets, a middle-aged man says some surprising things about the well-loved video game Minecraft and popular franchise Pokémon.

35-year-old English teacher Alexander Karpenko, from Nizhny Novgrod, Russia, is way manlier than your dad, because he shaves with a shovel and your dad shaves with a Schick Quattro Titanium. Whereas the Schick Quattro Titanium has an edging blade for extra precision and a ribbed rubber grip for increased comfort, Karpenko’s shovel is a big shovel. Inspired by his grandfather’s stories of men in World War II using anything they could get their hands on to shave on the battlefield, Karpenko first shaved with a pair of scissors when he was 16 years old. Since then, Karpenko has used various tools to shave, including a shovel, hatchet, and pair of scissors, and he claims never to have used a common razor.

Mediaite has exclusively obtained this note sent from Dan Abrams to the staff of his sites about their traffic numbers. Well actually, it ended up in our inbox and we just thought it was pretty cool.

The competition between Facebook and Google over Silicon Valley talent and Internet mindshare has been fierce for a while now, but this is a low tactic: Reporters at USA Today and The Daily Beast busted Facebook for hiring a PR firm to spread negative stories about Google to the media. Not only is this considered a rather shady move, but it’s usually employed by companies on the ropes, not those in Facebook’s position of relative strength.

Pass around the cigars: We have a new sister site! Say hello to The Mary Sue, a “guide to girl geek culture” covering everything from Science in General to literature(-inspired pillows) to movies and TV to tech to the very reason the internet was invented in the first place – funny videos.