While our counterparts at Mediaite have been dutifully liveblogging every last moment of this year’s 82nd Annual Academy Awards, we at Styleite gave up before the show even started; we were in it for the red carpet, clearly.

Thankfully, this year’s pre-show fashion fest served up no shortage of sartorial sins, rewarding risks, and, predictably, the usual snoozefest offenders.

The Hits:

Meryl Streep won tonight’s best dressed award, hands down. While our first guess pegged her dress as Valentino, kudos goes to Project Runway alum Chris March for designing such a standout, knockout, all-around stunning dress. Meryl Streep outshone Oscar himself. Period.

Diane Kruger’s cream and black feathered gown was undeniably, iconically, and gorgeously Chanel. Featuring a halter neck, no small amount of Chanel camelias, and a bias cut that would make most actresses run for the hills, Kruger’s dress was a elegant and inspired choice for the red carpet.

Carey Mulligan looked whimsically chic for her first Academy Awards red carpet appearance in a black bedazzled Prada gown.  While many consider black to be a bit drab for the Oscars, Miuccia Prada’s design looked perfect against her pale skin and platinum blonde boyish haircut.  Accented perfectly with impeccably sized chandelier earrings by Fred Leighton, Mulligan’s dress most definitely earned the actress a place among Hollywood’s “Best Dressed.”

Vera Farmiga’s fucshia Marchesa gown was reminiscent of Diane Kruger’s Christian Lacroix Golden Globe’s dress.  The ruffled fanning that spanned from the upper bodice down to the bottom was a unique and perfectly executed accent, which was refreshing considering the red carpet’s surprising lack of originality tonight.  The color choice was daring and divine and the gown fit her body like a glove.

Zoe Saldana’s Givenchy gown sets a prime example for what red carpet fashion could and should be. Exquisitely styled and arguably the evening’s most creative, Zoe’s dress was purple, ruched, ruffled, and huge. Also: it had a sparkly top. Good for her for pulling it off, but more importantly, for having the courage to wear it in the first place.

Up next: The Misses…

Last night on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve,” J.Lo sang her back-to-back decade closers “Louboutins” and “Waiting For Tonight,” but what people are talking about today is the bodysuit, so much so that it’s trending on Google as “jennifer lopez new years outfit” and “j lo new years eve outfit.” Well, good. Let ‘em notice, she’s 40 and just had twins and practically invented the stunt outfit. Like today’s trending Google topics are an accident. This is J.Lo — a mother, a wife, and laying low these past few years but come on: she knows what she’s doing.

(Okay, props to Cher on the stunt outfit thing, but still — J. Lo’s Grammy 2000 dress is still a high-water mark. No doubt Lady Gaga was watching as a 13-year-old kid somewhere and thinking, hmmmm).)

So ten years later, don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, because she’s still she’s still Jenny from the Block, and also, where would she hide those rocks anywhere? On that famous booty? (Say thank you, Kim Kardashian.) Clearly, er, not.

There are others to say “thank you” to J.Lo after her truly astonishing decade. She’s receded quite a bit from view in the last few years, but wow has her influence been felt over the past ten years. People forget that talk of an upcoming Jennifer Lopez album was largely met with lukewarm not-really-caring (what? The chick from Anaconda?) and that Out of Sight had been her career high-water mark, in a completely different area. Then came “On The 6″ — and that cover shot, which right away made headlines itself, followed by a few perfectly danceable songs with videos that wouldn’t look out of place today. (When I think of Y2K-era videos, I think of her — remember her as a sultry cyber-seductress in “If You Had My Love?” Yes, I know “On The Six” came out in 1999, but the set-up was all 2000s.) Then she one-upped it by being in the news every single day with Puffy (back when Sean Combs slash P. Diddy was Puff Daddy) and wearing that Grammy dress — and that was before she became J.Lo and invented a whole new nomenclature for nicknames (say thank you, BriWi). Then she worked with a Rolodex of rappers and released an album entirely of remixes and somewhere in there launched a fragrance called “Glow” that was marketed based on her shimmering naked body. She had the number-one album and the number-one movie in the same week. She was officially J. Lo, Inc.

Then she dated Ben Affleck and was on the cover of Us Weekly pretty much weekly. The Onion ran a story: “No Jennifer Lopez News Today.” (Also, remember that “Bennifer” predated “Brangelina”). She also did all of it entirely while in her 30s — and was part of a pretty crucial generation of women who refused to phase out of being hotties (I wrote about this phenomenon back in 2003). So she did Gigli. Big deal. They’re still talking about that, too. (And her scenes with Affleck in Jersey Girl were genuinely affecting.)

Thinking back on J.Lo this decade — and to be honest, this is the first time I have, which is maybe another reason why she brought it so fiercely last night, or maybe she just wanted you to forget that fall at the AMAs — I really realized what a trailblazer she was for those who came after her. Beyonc&@##, Miley, Gaga, any actress who’s ever released an album — they are all standing on the shoulders of J.Lo. She was a true triple threat — actress, singer, dancer — who brought it all and brought it all over the place, and packaged it sometimes outrageously but always sexily (redoing that iconic Flashdance scene – genius). She was also a fashion icon, and made the velour sweatsuit look ridiculously hot (say thank you, Juicy). I may have seen the ridiculous Wedding Planner on a plane, but I did watch it (and I wasn’t on a plane for Maid In Manhattan, what can I say). But in the background, there was always Out of Sight. I’m still trying to think of someone hotter with George Clooney.

So yeah. Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo. It took a decade for me to realize it, but I sort of love her.

p.s. “Fitting end” was a wholly unintentional pun. Video below.

Jennifer Lopez: Skintight Sexy on New Year’s Eve [Just Jared]
Jennifer Lopez’ New Year’s outfit; singer stalks into 2010 in a glimmering skin tight catsuit [NYDN]

(Pics via Just Jared; there’s a photogallery there, too.)

Instead, they’ll be about Adam Lambert‘s hip thrusts, J-Lo’s fall and a near nip-slip. Let’s take a look at the AMA moments you’ll be talking about today.

Adam Lambert simulates some oral sex with both a male and female back-up dancer. ABC decided to cut away from the performance to an awkward audience shot during the male-thrusting:

Jennifer Lopez performed her new song “Louboutins.” Right before her big dance break, she takes a spill jumping off a back-up dancer. The key part was after the performance when they cut to Lopez getting angry in a backstage look-in:

Kate Hudson had either a near nipple slip or an actual nipple slip that ABC blurred out. Either way, it was close, and when she adjusted her dress, the audience laughed in acknowledgment:

> Related: Rachel Sklar looks at “post-sexy”, and the performances of Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert.

—–
» Follow Steve Krakauer on Twitter

Not surprisingly, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever was the number one worst movie, with a grand total of 0% good reviews. The cast was promising: – Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu – so why so bad? Do you really want to see it to find out? That goes pretty much for all the movies on the list — from Glitter to Swept Away to The Hottie And The Nottie.

Which prompted a natural follow-up question: what directors and actors had the worst results on Rotten Tomatoes from 2000-2009? Thanks to computers, we have the answer.

First, the methodology. Each person (actor or director) was given a number of points that corresponded to how badly the movie did. The 100th worst movie earned a participant 1 point – Ecks vs. Sever earned 100. Directors, however, deserve special blame for resultant crappiness, so they were given a 50% mark-up on their scores.

Which leads us to our list: the 375 Worst Actors and Directors of the Past Decade. (To be fair, most of these people were in one moderately bad movie, but that title is so catchy, we’re sticking with it.)

Here are the top ten:

1. Aaron Seltzer
2. Uwe Boll
3. Jason Friedberg
4. Roberto Benigni
5. Stephen Dorff
6. Eddie Griffin
7. Larry the Cable Guy
8. Lucy Liu
9. Natascha McElhone
10. Zach Cregger

Number 1 is no surprise Aaron Seltzer, who, along with #3 Jason Friedberg, makes the insipid Movie movies which are designed to cost a minimal amount and make up for it by fooling enough teenagers into coming that they end up being profitable (Seltzer did Date Movie without Fraiberg, which accounts for his exalted status). Likewise #2 – Uwe Boll. Somehow, a director who makes deliberately terrible movies is still given money to do so.

As for number 4 – Roberto Benigni‘s role as actor and director of the terrible Pinnochio did double damage. Is it fair to ding him twice for it? Yes.

Anyway, here’s the full list, as a sortable Google Doc. Points are calculated as above; “dings” are counted each time the person was in or directed a movie, regardless of rank. What do Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Dianne Weist, Scott Baio, Kal Penn, Brent Spiner, Jessica Alba, Bradley Cooper, Kate Beckinsale, Charlotte Rampling, Steve Martin and DJ Pooh all have in common? They’re aaaaaall in here. Enjoy.

GossipCop has the details:

On Wednesday, the couple began a whirlwind visit to Washington, DC, where they were first given a private tour of the White House, along with their 19-month-old children Emma and Max. Gossip Cop is told that while his parents spoke with Obama, little Max amused himself and “ran wild around the Oval Office.”

The celebrity couple met up again later in the evening with Obama at the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute’s annual awards gala, where backstage before the president spoke, Obama led senators and members of congress in singing “Happy Birthday” to Anthony, who was honored at the event with a Lifetime Achievement Award. Lopez and Anthony were seated at the awards ceremony with Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, whom you may recall Gossip Cop exclusively reported was the guest of honor at a private dinner party the celebrity couple threw at their Long Island, New York home on August 17.

Marc Anthony’s rep went on to tell Gossip Cop, “Marc said he couldn’t have had a more perfect birthday.”

Gossip Cop reports today that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hosted a dinner in honor of Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latina Supreme Court Justice.

From Gossip Cop:

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hosted a dinner in honor of Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latina Supreme Court Justice. The intimate get-together was last night at the couple’s Long Island, New York home. Gossip Cop is told the dinner was preceded by a cocktail party and attended by about a dozen people, mostly political types. Everyone in the Lopez and Anthony camps are remaining mum about the private dinner party.

Gossip Cop rates this a “10” on the Truth-o-Meter, so clearly we can trust this report more than those rumors of Sotomayor hitting the clubs with Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg.