This morning, Fishbowl DC ran a funny little item about mediabistro founder Laurel Touby‘s in-flight run-in with two of the Mid-Atlantic’s most florescent young women: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jennifer “JWOWW” Farley.

The story described a scene one might come to expect if one has ever watched an episode MTV’s Jersey Shore: a needlessly heated conversation, and some huffing and/or puffing thrown in for good measure.

Oh, JWoww. In a delightfully bizarre interview with Showbiz Tonight co-host Brooke Anderson, the Jersey Shore star is asked about “these awful reports that (an ex-boyfriend) stole your hard drive and sold nude photos of you.” Anderson handles the question gracefully, but then she’s clearly stunned by JWoww’s answer: “And there’s video, I guess, so.”

No! It’s not just pictures, it’s video? Yep. But to be fair, JWoww wants you to know she “doesn’t recommend it.” As for how the video came to be, the reality star also wants to be clear: “it’s not like me posing, or like you know how like girls like do that?” Um. “These are like sleeping or like things like that.”

Regis Philbin is old. Super old. Like, “Jesus Christ was my camp counselor” old. So it’s no surprise that when Jersey Shore stars Jenni “JWoww” Farley and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
showed up on Live with Regis & Kelly this morning, Reeg didn’t quite know what to make of them.

On last night’s pre-VMAs episode of Jersey Shore, we got to know the person who is turning into one of the stars of season 2 – sweet, momma’s boy Vinny.

His family came to visit, and it was fun for everyone to eat a big meal and spend QT with the fam. But Vinny’s true nature was revealed in two very different interactions with women.

Episode seven of Jersey Shore was sponsored by Fossil watches, Staten Island and true love.

No but seriously, Snooki smushed, Sammi and Jwoww fought, Vinny smushed, Ronnie and Sammi made up, Angelina smushed Vinny and Pauly D and The Situation were the voices of reason.

The epic sixth episode of Jersey Shore was a Seaside Heights roller-coaster filled with sex and violence, food and drink (and a tranny situation).

The Situation, who was the breakout star of season one, will now incomprehensibly be on Dancing With The Stars and has a nickname for his nickname (“Sitch”), was mostly a bit player this year. Until his breakout performance last night – which he summed up with a perfect analogy about his philosophy on life.

Jersey Shore‘s fifth episode began with a 10-second scene featuring Jwoww and her breasts. She’s staring at herself in the mirror, maneuvering her fake mammaries when a disapproving glare comes across her usually blank face.

They aren’t perky enough apparently, or large enough, or something. Saying more in that look than if she attempted to formulate a sentence to describe her emotion at the time, we enter episode five. Let’s recap the shitshow.

This morning the unthinkable happened: the eight cast members of Jersey Shore all woke up before noon, (seemingly) un-hungover, and (mostly) covering up their habitually exposed bronze chests with (somewhat) tasteful business attire. The reason? They were the honored guests at the New York Stock Exchange in charge of ringing the opening bell.

The fashion rules at the Jersey Shore are scant and easy: leopard, leather, rips and studs are always in vogue. Bigger poufs are better poufs. Skirts and shorts must be small enough to display the lower curve of the derriere, push-up bras are mandatory (plus five if it has a matching g-string from Frederick’s of Hollywood), and if boobs and/or vagina do not escape at some point during the night, then we have a major fashion situation.

Dave Itzkoff of the New York Times reports that MTV emailed out a press release at 1:33 am Friday night announcing that the full cast Jersey Shore will be returning for a second season. The second season is planned to air this summer, but the press release warns that the cast will “escape the cold Northeast and find themselves in a new destination.” This does raise the question of why the show should even be called Jersey Shore any more.

The world cannot get enough of Jersey Shore. They’ve been re-upped for a second season, the cast’s appearance fees are off the charts, they’ve got kazillions of followers on Twitter, and they are all going to get a sick payday when they come back for round two. As Sn00ki says: “We are hotter than a dog’s balls right now.”

With just one more week of Jersey Shore guidoness to go before the national phenomenon concludes next week, MTV gave its viewers two full hours this week.

The Situation fought with Vinny, and Snooki, and Ronnie, and Sweetheart, and Jwoww, and Pauly D got stalked by an Israeli girl. Also: more fighting and hooking up.

For those who have erroneously questioned whether these Jersey Shore stars actually do anything, in part because of their obvious poor work ethic in their appointed summer job at the t-shirt store – you were proved wrong on New Years Eve. Pauly D showed just why people call him “DJ Pauly D” – bringing the house down at Karma as only he could. But the true star of the episode was The Situation – and his various anti-climactic situations with females.

The year 2009 had many media bright spots, break-out stars, dominating networks and game-changing technologies. The Mediaite 50 collects the finest, most exemplary innovators and influencers of the year, defining a media moment in time and setting the agenda as we move forward. See the full list after the jump: