If you’re a regular viewer of The Five, you know that Barack Obama’s chances in 2012 are not good. Despite Bob Beckel’s protestations, every day it feels like we get more proof that he is doomed, doomed, doomed. Solyndra goes all the way to the top! No one can win with these unemployment numbers! Even liberals hate him! That’s why it felt so surprising to hear Kimberly Guilfoyle, with litte fanfare and at such an early date, posit that the President already has re-election in the bag.

When Glenn Beck ended his run on FOX News, the channel had a plethora of options with which to replace him. And they landed on what was probably the most unlikely of formats — a five-person panel show that tackles the day’s topics from several angles. It’s like The View, but for political junkies. And with more suspenders.

In Florida this week, an appeals court decided to deny a petition that would have stopped Judge Richard Nielsen from using Sharia Law to help decide a dispute between former and current trustees at a local mosque. On, The Five this afternoon, this resulted in an interesting debate over whether or not any religious law or teachings should ever be used in a court case and, if so, should one religion be held above each other.

Fans of The Five can throw their hands in the air (perhaps even waving them like they just don’t care) and rejoice to the news that Fox News has announced that the 5pm panel show has become a permanent fixture on the cable news dial, thus increasing the chances that we will one day see the Bob Beckel/Eric Bolling fist fight we’re all so eagerly awaiting.

A large circle of vaguely left-wing, anti-capitalist protesters may not sound like the friendliest atmosphere to send Fox News film crews into, and yet Friday night was full of coverage from representatives of both The O’Reilly Factor and Hannity, which were treated slightly more warmly than the first crew to get down there led by Red Eye‘s Bill Schulz. Schulz accompanied Sean Hannity last night to make sense of the footage, which Jesse Watters gave his eyewitness testimony to Bill O’Reilly.

While others on his channel were giving the current administration credit for their recent spate of terrorist killin’, Eric Bolling wasn’t about to join into the Obama back-patting. Instead, he took a page from that last big terrorist death, and accused Obama of overshadowing the guy who really deserves credit; President Bush. Bolling claimed to be offended by the current President’s undeserved “victory lap,” while an incredulous Kimberly Guilfoyle pointed out that she didn’t remember seeing Obama do any running.

Hey, gang! It looks like it’s time for another round of our favorite weekday television game, “Did Someone Just Curse on The Five?” After the last round with Eric Bolling (which led to a big debate here at Mediaite headquarters), we’re back with the game’s frequent star, Bob Beckel. During a discussion of Janeane Garofalo’s comments on Countdown, Greg Gutfeld made a claim that “the Republican Party tries to raise the boats for everyone, including blacks.” Beckel clearly disagreed and let it be known with a loud expletive.

The Wall Street “Day of Rage” protests taking a strong stand against [something the protesters will decide later, whatever man, you're not the boss of me] are well into their first week, and it only took five days for them to attract Red Eye‘s Bill Schulz, who arrived with his own set of demands for Wall Street (“Bring Back Growing Pains!”) and coexisted peacefully with the protesters, until he was recognized.

Is it appropriate to make a cheap joke in a televised discussion on a consumer health and safety issues? Attorney Mark Eiglarsh seemed to think so when he went on America Live to discuss Dr. Oz‘s recent controversial findings that showed various apple juices contained higher levels of arsenic than the safe drinking water limit as determined by the EPA.

The Five‘s Dana Perino promised today that they were going to “fix” the problem most often cited by Ron Paul and his supporters; that he was being ignored by the media. However, while the show did dedicate an entire segment to the Congressman, it’s probably not the kind of media coverage he or his fans intended as the tenure of the piece was resoundingly negative from all each of the titular five hosts.

One of the most interesting things about watching Fox News’ The Five is that each hosts seems to have some input in what stories they cover but not which ones the rest do. There are frequent jokes about whose segment got the most time and they sometimes make it abundantly clear when a story isn’t their cup of tea (witness Greg Gutfeld laying his head on the table or Bob Beckel playing cell phone games). Beckel clearly was not all too interested in discussing last month’s disappearance of Robyn Gardner in Aruba. He spent the whole segment making jokes about the suspect’s appearance and the dangers of online dating and then, at the end, he wondered allowed if they’d even be talking about this if Gardner were black.

Was there another f-word on The Five today? If so, it wouldn’t be terribly surprising. When you’ve got a live show where the debates sometimes get contentious, this stuff happens. No, we’re just amused it wasn’t Bob Beckel this time. In fact, just a couple minutes after Beckel made a joke about not being able to say a word he wanted, it was Eric Bolling who let one slip

It was a four person pile-on against President Obama today on Fox News’ The Five. If you can’t guess who the hold out was, well, then you’ve probably never watched The Five. Yes, every host whose last name didn’t rhyme with “schmeckle” absolutely roasted the President over the S&P downgrade, his address this afternoon, and how this will all affect his historical standing. Sure the country may be in big trouble but, on the upside, at least four TV hosts seem to really be enjoying themselves for some reason.

Today, a flight attendant filed lawsuit against Gawker Media for a post (later retracted) that guessed that she may be the mistress of Arnold Schwarzenegger that fathered his illegitimate child. This afternoon on Fox News (a network that’s never had the best relationship with Gawker), the panelists of The Five had quite a bit to say about the website.

While most anyone on the either extreme of the political spectrum has expressed dismay at the final debt deal that has come out of the current crisis, the fact that the deal includes no tax hikes is great news to conservatives who were otherwise concerned about the deal. Arguing that, without the Tea Party victories of 2010, Congress would not have had the discussion it did, Eric Bolling took the time on The Five today to gift the Tea Party with a giant symbol of his appreciation: a tea bag.

So how did Fox News’ new show The Five end their first week? With an episode in which Andrea Tantaros explained how sick she was of Casey Anthony (while introducing an entire segment on Casey Anthony), Greg Gutfeld dressed up in a beat poetry outfit to read Esquire’s “How Can We Not Love Obama?” article, and Bob Beckel said Jose Baez looks like “a drug deal I once had.” They also had one of the most uncomfortable television segments I’ve ever seen in which Gutfeld explained why actress Mila Kunis was a great American and Tantaros and Kimberly Guilfoyle discussed why ladies just have too many emotions and stuff for casual sex.

For most of his short career in cable news, Jimmy McMillan has been showcased alone for his auctioneer’s voice and amazingly sculpted facial hair. Now that he’s running for president, however, he’s got to learn to play well with others, and on last night’s Follow the Money McMillan had to debate Eric Bolling‘s panel, including a confused Dr. Marc Lamont Hill who didn’t understand why McMillan was attacking him for holding the same views.

The Casey Anthony trial has caused all sorts of television analysts to get loudly indignant over the lost of Caylee Anthony‘s life, and on last night’s Hannity, Sean Hannity‘s panel debated the merits of the outrage towards the jury. During the exchange, Hannity found himself caught in the crossfire of his two attorney guests as Kimberly Guilfoyle, continuing a dispute from the night before, vociferously claimed the evidence proved Casey was guilty.

The latest “controversy” (?) to hit the administration comes as at least one conservative women’s group lashed out against comments by President Obama that Democratic National Committee Chairman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz has a “dazzling” and “cute” smile. While some cried sexism, on Fox News today a panel noted that there was a “double-standard” between conservatives and liberals on such matters, but that everyone likes being told they have a nice smile.

After three days of intense scrutiny, confusion, and still no definitive answers, Bill O’Reilly got to give his take on “Weinergate,” and reserved judgment on Rep. Anthony Weiner, those reporting on the Rep. Weiner, and any other parties involved. Any other parties, that is, except for the FBI. Upon learning that the FBI would neither confirm not deny an investigation into the matter, O’Reilly gave FBI Director Robert Mueller a 24-hour ultimatum to tell the American people what they intend to do about the alleged hacking.

Andrew Breitbart takes his media blitzes seriously. While the newly-minted author was taking on Bill Maher‘s panel last night on HBO, he was also simultaneously on FBN’s Follow the Money, lambasting Democrats for “using [Hurricane] Katrina as a cudgel against President Bush” while not criticizing President Obama for his take on other disasters. Surprisingly, he took nearly as much heat on Fox Business as he did on HBO.

During a segment about a woman who alleges that she was sexually assaulted by a man she met on the dating website Match.com, O’Reilly Factor contributor Lis Wiehl made an unwise wisecrack Tuesday night. Noting that the assault occurred on a second date, she wondered aloud about the alleged victim, “Who goes out with a guy like that twice?”

Glenn Beck has been on Fox News now for a good two years– he’s heard it all. But it’s rare to find any profound level of disapproval among his Fox family. On last night’s Follow the Money on Fox Business, colleague Alan Colmes repeatedly denounced Beck’s use of Nazi references and apocalyptic rhetoric, shouting over a half-amused, half-disappointed panel that he was “sick and tired” of what he perceived to be the right wing’s double-standard on violent rhetoric.

The fact that Wikileaks Editor-in-Chief Julian Assange is wanted by Interpol for a crime called “sex by surprise” seems to have taken Fox’s Red Eye panel by surprise last night/this morning, so much so that, despite palpable antipathy for the Australian hacker, Greg Gutfeld and company seemed to agree on at least one thing: “Sweden is a weird place.”

Yes: it’s true: Geraldo At Large has somehow, inexplicably managed to land the interview of the century, if by “century” you mean “1992″: “Long Island Lolita” Amy Fisher, the New York native that captured America’s heart and Joey Buttafuoco‘s wallet before shooting down and attempting to kill his wife, Mary Joe. Here’s everything you need to know about her new porn movie, Deep Inside with Amy Fisher.