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Ronald Russo* from the Bronx is a simple man who lives by one rule. Literally, he has only one rule. “You don’t fall in love at the Jersey Shore,” he says in what looks like an audition tape.

But do you know what happened last night on Jersey Shore? Ronnie broke his rule. And he cried uncontrollably.

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One of the best reactions I’ve seen to MTV’s apocalyptic case study in guidodom known as Jersey Shore came from a high school friend of mine on Facebook: “Jersey Shore is bs. They are all from NY.”

No one wants to be associated with this – including the state of New Jersey as a whole. But it happened, and two hours of reality TV later, we now live in a world where this exists. Let’s spend an inordinate amount of time reliving the experience.