One of my favorite Simpsons gags of all time occurs in an episode where Bart runs for class president. He gets Homer to make his campaign poster and Homer comes up with a doozy; simple text exclaiming “SEX! Now that I’ve got your attention, vote for Bart!” What makes this gag so great is that I feel like I’m reminded of it about three times a week even 17 years after the episode aired. My latest reminder, this New York Post cover that uses an interesting analogy and an incredibly random stock photo to inform readers that the stock market’s been kind of crazy lately.

Admittedly, one does not necessarily turn to the cover of the New York Post for hard news per se. But still. The paper which devoted 20 consecutive covers to Tiger Woods has thus far made space for the Haiti disaster once this week.

Upon hearing that NBA teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton pulled guns on each other in a locker room showdown, my first thought was not about the future of a game that I love, or commissioner David Stern‘s fury, or even the safety of anyone involved. I just wondered what the New York Post headline would be. The paper first reported the incident Friday, but Sunday morning was the headline we’ve been waiting for and it’s a poker pun.

The New York Post has listened to my cry for a covers archive! Sort of. The Post is currently running a feature on its website allowing you to vote for you favorite New York Post cover of the decade. Talk about an embarrassment (sometimes literally) of riches.

Today marks the 20th straight day in a row that Tiger Woods has hit the cover of the New York Post. Want to put that in perspective? The previous holder of the most consecutive Post covers title was the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, which dominated for 19 straight days. Sign of the apocalypse?

Alas, the Post‘s Eliot Spitzer for office campaign appears to be on hiatus today. Maybe the’ve seen themselves through the worst of the end-of-summer news slump with the Spitzer revival. Maybe they’re just holding the best parts for next week when everyone returns from summer vacation. Either way, today’s cover is none too disappointing in its own right.

I’ve been speculating all week what future New York Post Spitzer covers might look like. The Post‘s campaign to get Eliot Spitzer back in office has been impressive. So what’s next? Mediaite has an inside line courtesy of our own Rachel Sklar who was stopped by Post operatives on her way back to our offices!

Yesterday, I speculated that the next stage in the Post‘s week-long campaign to put Eliot Spitzer back in office would be to talk to “close friends” of his “long-suffering” wife Silda Spitzer. I was wrong! Though not by much. Today’s episode is all about that other suffering woman in Spitzer’s life: Ashley Dupre.