When you think of alleged Tiger Woods mistresses (all 14+), Donald Trump isn’t exactly the next thing that comes to mind. And yet, low and behold, there is a connection! Today, alleged mistress and Extra special nightlife correspondent Rachel Uchitel has confirmed to Gossip Cop that she received a personal invitation from Mr. Trump to appear on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice and, pending a final okay from NBC, will accept.

On November 17th, ten days before his marriage-(and career?)-ruining car accident, Tiger Woods had no idea how the rest of his 2009 would play out. He was probably riding high, maybe enjoying his money and definitely giving an interview to New Zealand sports analyst Murray Deaker. Gossip Cop is reporting that although the interview was scheduled to air on Christmas day, because of um… unforeseen circumstances, the eight-minute clip aired today. And focused mostly on Tiger Woods: Family Man.

Deadspin’s A.J. Daulerio makes a good (disturbing) case for the argument that alleged Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel was allegedly paid off not to keep her quiet over her alleged affair with Woods, but to keep quiet over all the alleged “dirty business” she does for him.

Short version: she provides the girls, she is not the girls. And there have been many, many girls. Also, this is big business. And Tiger may have ruined the party for everyone.

It’s the weekend, which means it’s time to separate the chumps from the champs in Mediaite’s “Winners and Losers” — our scorecard of who rocked and who flopped in the week’s headlines. I’d hoped something newsworthy — like an typhoon or solar flare or another boy-less balloon — might pop up midweek and eclipse the Tiger Woods saga as the world’s most-talked about story.

Is it just us, or has Glenn Beck been awfully low-key lately? he has not been up to the grandstanding stunts like pretending to boil a live frog or finding communist artwork at 30 Rock that made him a household name/Glee punchline in record time. Which is why we almost missed these Tiger Woods jokes Beck told on his radio program more than two days ago. He also called Tiger a “dirtbag.”

Product placement can take the strangest forms. Exhibit A: a physics book that was on the floor of Tiger Woods‘ car when it crashed shot up more than 350,000 places on Amazon in the course of a day when the inevitable car crash photos leaked online. The book in question, Get A Grip On Physics, is currently going for $75.00, minimum, for a used copy. The real story here: might Tiger Woods be a Large Hadron Collider fanboy?

As much as the PGA Tour would like to sell you on the greatness of many of its players, the sport just isn’t as compelling without Tiger Woods. (Just look at how dreadful the television ratings were for the tournaments he missed during the time he took off to recover from knee surgery.)

For the Tour — and most of the sycophantic golf writers who cover him — a tabloid-fueled story of this magnitude puts many of them in an unenviable position. Especially when it comes to reporting the truth.

Subbing for Geraldo Rivera last night, Kim Guilfoyle interviewed Barry Levine, Executive Editor of the National Enquirer. The notorious tabloid is now at the center of the Tiger Woods scandal for its exclusive report of the “other woman” Rachel Uchitel. Guilfoyle challenged Levine for paying for their exclusive source and Levine admitted that Uchitel’s story has changed since its first report.