Therefore, it’s tough to know what to root for here. Who knows, maybe if we each buy a handful of Bear Scratches, Falcon Heene will get to live a better life. “Bear Scratch Dance” songwriter Smokey Miles insists that the Bear Scratch Band is here to stay, and he’s got “a bunch more songs written for them,” so maybe this is the start of better times for the Heene kids.

It would appear that Heene spent the last few months reflecting on his past mistakes as well as thinking up ways to make the world better (it would also appear, judging from the Bear Scratch’s amazing commercial, that he spent that entire time chugging coffee). Heene must have been sitting back, trying to find a way to make the country not hate him, when he saw a bear scratching its back on a tree. Heene, like any great innovator, then thought, “Why not me?”

The commercial for the Bear Scratch has it all; a great jingle, a greater tagline (“If you itch like a son of a twitch”), and lengthy shots of Heene enjoying a good scratch. But it also has something interesting for eagle-eyed viewers. If you watch closely, you can find out why the Heene’s reality show never panned out. No, it’s the oft-given reason that they deceived the entire nation in an attempt to become famous and ended up costing taxpayers a ton of money. That’s too obvious. The real reason comes at the end of the ad when Heene, after getting his scratch on, yells to his off-screen wife that he “doesn’t need her anymore.”

If their entire relationship was based around back scratching, that wouldn’t have been too interesting a show.

(h/t MSNBC this morning)

Since mid-October, you have probably been wondering: Balloon Boy’s parents Richard and Mayumi Heene, what ever happened to them? Are they rich and famous yet? Answer: no.

Well, in fact, their sentencing is today, and they could wind up the exact opposite of rich and famous: fined $46,000, and in jail.

Take it away, Associated Press:

Richard and Mayumi Heene are scheduled to be sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty to charges that they carried out the stunt in October to promote a reality TV show. The husband faces up to 90 days and jail, and the wife faces up to 60 days …

… The Heenes also face possible restitution for search and rescue costs. It wasn’t immediately known if District Judge Stephen Schapanski would take up the issue at Wednesday’s hearing.

The Larimer County District Attorney’s Office estimates total costs at $46,000, according to [Richard Heene's attorney David] Lane.

One heartening finding, via the Denver Post: ”The Larimer County Sheriff’s Office said Monday it appears the Heenes acted alone in the publicity stunt and that no media outlets conspired or made promises.”

So: Richard Heene — who called the media about his son’s ‘disappearance’ before he called 911 — hijacked the news cycle and spent tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars out of his own ambition and pluck.

Bon voyage, 2009!

Update: Yup: 30 days in jail for Richard Heene, 20 days in jail for Mayume Heene, restitutions TBD. (via LA Times)

(image via the Houston Chronicle)

But this morning in the New York Times, columnist Frank Rich finds compassion for Heene, painting him in a landscape of deflated economic opportunity where the most dependable job opportunity is the round-the-clock media circus and all the real hoaxers go unpunished. Ultimately, Rich looks back to the Great Depression:

Heene is a direct descendant of those Americans of the Great Depression who fantasized, usually in vain, that they might find financial salvation if only they could grab a spotlight in show business. Some aspired to the “American Idol” of the day — “Major Bowes Amateur Hour,” a hugely popular weekly talent contest on network radio. Others traveled the seedy dance marathon circuit, entering 24/7 endurance contests that promised food and prize money in exchange for freak-show degradation and physical punishment. Horace McCoy’s 1935 novel memorializing this Depression milieu was aptly titled “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?”

Read Frank Rich’s “In Defense of ‘Balloon Boy’ Dad.”

Here are the clips from Countdown and The Rachel Maddow Show:

We contacted MSNBC about both segments, and they declined to comment.

Those morning show appearances have been weighing on me. While I’m disappointed in Olbermann and Maddow, two people who do 99% excellent work, they are not alone here. We all sat by and watched that 6 year-old become violently ill on The Today Show and Good Morning America. We know for a fact, now, that the child’s father was making him lie, and it’s likely what made Falcon sick that morning. The problem is, we all pretty much knew it at the time, too.

Falcon Heene did a courageous thing by telling the truth on national television, and his reward was to be ignored. Wolf Blitzer fumbled the follow-up, and the authorities dithered, still believing Richard Heene‘s lies. While our own Dan Abrams theorizes that the Sheriff’s ignorance may have been strategic, that would have been a strategy that didn’t benefit the child. Falcon Heene went to sleep that night knowing that he wasn’t believed.

Falcon’s confession could not have been clearer, yet for some reason, the media continued to treat the idea of a hoax as an open question, a 50/50 shot. The following morning, Richard Heene went on TV and fed his son a lie for him to agree to, after who knows what kind of coercion. Why did these interviewers not press Heene on the details of a story that clearly did not add up? Why didn’t they call him out? Most importantly, why did they continue these interviews while the child was in obvious physical distress? The fact that his parents didn’t have the decency to do this is little excuse when you consider their part in Falcon’s situation.

Next: Further media wrongdoing on GMA and Today

With Aldernen’s slow action in declaring this a criminal case, O’Reilly had some material to work with. And he channeled ‘the folks’ for his questions.

Aldernen is the guy who saw Falcon Heene say on live TV “we did this for a show,” and still believed the family that it the whole thing wasn’t a hoax. That is, until he said “this was a hoax” just a couple days later.

“Mrs. Heene is libel for criminal activity if she knew that was a lie, right?” asked O’Reilly.

“There will be criminal charges and we anticipate filing something, probably next week, with the district attorney’s office,” said Haldernen. “And we believe both Mrs. Heene and Mr. Heene are criminally responsible for this action.”

O’Reilly likes to speak for ‘the folks’ on The Factor, and he did so last night. “I was watching it here,” he said, as likely most of Fox News was. “The pain that people who didn’t even know the family were experiencing – ‘I hope the child is okay’ – that was a two hour ordeal!” said O’Reilly.

Haldernen feels your pain, people:

I think that’s why the public has been so upset about this, and wants some blood, basically, from the family, because they emotionally bought into this. They suffered along with the parents, except the parents weren’t suffering.

Haldernen also said the family will probably avoid jail, but could owe as much as $2 million. How about a few bucks for the suffering public?

Here’s the full interview:

—–
» Follow Steve Krakauer on Twitter

The student wants to sell the infomation and says the National Enquirer is considering buying it for between $5,000 and $8,000.

The student claims to have been hired by Heene, and says the two worked together from March until May 2009 to prepare “business plans and proposals” to pitch to ABC.

Apparently, Gawker jumped at the offer, because yesterday they published their own exclusive (actually two) ” I Helped Richard Heene Plan a Balloon Hoax.”

For the first time, 25-year-old researcher Robert Thomas reveals to Gawker how earlier this year he and Richard Heene drew up a master plan to generate a massive media controversy using a weather balloon. To get famous, of course…It’s a fascinating account and after he publicly offered to sell his story, we paid him for it.

You can read all the sordid details there, though the short version is that Heene has a history of strange behavior that supports the Balloon Boy Hoax theories, and considering the Colorado police have announced they are bringing in Child Services it appears there is more evidence to come.

So how much did Gawker pay for the exclusive (and according to BI’s Joe Weisenthal, 48 hours of Thomas’ silence)? According to Business Insider Thomas was asking for $5-8000. I emailed Gawker editor-in-chief Gabriel Snyder who told me that “we didn’t pay near that much.” Paying for tips is not a new policy at Gawker (nor at a variety of other news organizations, primarily of the tabloid variety, also sometimes TV programs looking for big interview gets). Back in July Nick Denton announced he was bring back “web-style checkbook journalism.”

Anyway, cue media outrage, probably. Also, perhaps some concern. If you can make some cash off an exclusive tip why not follow the money to Gawker’s tip box. Says Abe Sauer in a post on the matter:

So it appears the lesson is, if you know somebody, however tangentially, who may have been, for even an instant, in the national consciousness, by God do not just tell anyone about it. Send an email to tips@gawker.com first because your ability to be in the right place at the right time may be worth several thousand dollars. Corroboration? Don’t worry about it. Didn’t you get Denton’s memo?

Gabriel Snyder discussed this hoax during an appearance on CNN:

The announcement came on the heels of “Balloon Boy” dad Richard Heene‘s bizarre press conference, in which he insisted there was “Absolutely no hoax,” then provided reporters a box in which to place their questions.  Apparently, Heene’s Guide to Press Conferences begins, “Step One: Cut a hole in a box…”

Here’s video of the Sheriff’s announcement regarding the investigation:

There has been no shortage of media criticism over the “Balloon Boy” story, but this is the stage at which the media need to go deeper, do a much better job than they have been, and stick with it until the end.  The horror of the initial reports gave way to relief when the boy was found, then a mix of shock and hilarity when the boy blurted out “We did this for a show,” and Wolf Blitzer didn’t seem to notice.

The story turned disturbing after that, though, with the TV networks lightly grilling the Heene family about the hoax “possibility” even as young Falcon Heene vomited his way through the interviews. Now, more disturbing details are emerging about Richard Heene.

When the next Kanye West comes along, the internets will forget about “Balloon Boy,” and Falcon Heene will still be a 6 year-old who lived through something very traumatic, who was the white-hot center of the universe for a moment, and who, right or wrong, painted a bullseye on his dad on national television.  What happens to him from here is a story worth telling.

Below: Larimer County Colorado Sheriff Jim Alderden‘s comments from this afternoon’s press conference, and his comments last night. Plus, information about Gawker’s exclusive, and all the news from Day 4. Updates here as more news breaks.

(Update 1pmET):
• Press Conference this afternoon (video below): Larimer County Colorado Sheriff Jim Alderden: “It has been determined that this was a hoax, that it was a publicity stunt … done with the hopes of better marketing themselves for a reality show in the future.”

Says Richard and Mayumi (Balloon Mom) met in acting school, ‘they put on a good show for us.’

Verbal cues on Wolf Blitzer were evidence for the police.

Authorities hoped to interview Mayumi and Richard separately with a polygraph on Friday, but because of distress caused by media polygraph would not have been valid.

Alderden says, One things you folks aren’t going to like … Colorado Rule 3.6 and 3.8: We are not allowed under these rules to talk about the results of scientific evidence that is presented. We’re not allowed to talk about whether or not polygraph was administered, or what the results were.

Class 4 felony, Class 3 misdemeanor, among other charges pending against Richard Heene.

Going to open evidence bay so press can take photos.

According to media sources, ACLU will represent Richard Heene and Mayumi against charges; couple didn’t have an attorney with them yesterday during their encounters with the police.

Authorities think Falcon was in the attic, but “for all we know he could have been down the street playing on a swing in the city park.”

Ernie Hudson, Larimer County Undersheriff in charge of investigation: We have to keep an open mind, can’t operate on assumptions, have treat the family fairly and make sure they continue to cooperate. “Now there’s absolutely no doubt in our mind that this was a hoax, a public relations set-up.”

“We don’t have the luxury of rushing to judgment or rushing to conclusions.”

Yesterday:
• Richard Heene, Balloon Dad, will be charged with at least a Class 3 misdemeanor, if not federal charges, according to an announcement by Larimer County Colorado Sheriff Jim Alderden last night. Later that night, authorities were seen searching the Heene Family home. Alderden also said there will be further announcements in another press conference this morning at 1pmET. Video below …

• Meanwhile, yesterday evening Gawker shelled out for a post called “Exclusive: I Helped Richard Heene Plan a Balloon Hoax,” written by one of Heene’s students, illuminating the man’s character and making a hoax of Balloon Boy magnitude seem pretty likely.

• Yesterday Heene held a press conference of his own, in which he said there was “absolutely no hoax.”

Related:
Day 4: Sheriff to File Criminal Charges in Balloon Boy Case
How Much Did Gawker Pay For Proof Balloon Boy Was A Hoax?
Day 3: “Absolutely No Hoax,” Says Balloon Boy Dad at Makeshift Press Conference
Day 2: Sad Balloon Boy Saga Continues: Pukes Twice on Live TV
11 Other Kinda Exciting Things Involving People and Balloons
Day 1: Wolf Blitzer Tries His Best To Blow CNN’s Balloon Boy Scoop
Busted? Balloon Boy Says “We Did This For A Show”
Internet Made Joke Of “Balloon Boy” While Safety Uncertain
“Balloon Boy” Found Alive; Newsers Prepare “What Was the Attic Like?” Questions
Wall-To-Wall Cable News: Six Year-Old Boy Floats Away In Hot-Air Balloon

Larimer County Colorado Sheriff Jim Alderden’s press conference last night this afternoon:

CNN’s coverage of Larimer County Colorado Sheriff Jim Alderden’s press conference last night:

Instead, he only told the assembled reporters “Absolutely no hoax” before asking them to put their questions in a box so he could answer them later. He added that he doesn’t have cable, so he really has no idea what the media is saying about him.

Heene is proving himself to be a singular mix of high-brow, low-brow media savvy. His family has come to epitomize sketchy media attention grabbing in the last few days … which is impressive for somebody whose idea of a press conference involves putting questions in a box.

The parents of six-year-old Falcon Heene thought it would be a good idea to go on the full morning show circuit, but to prove just how good an idea it really was, Balloon Boy puked live on air during two interviews.

Good Morning America‘s appearance brought a new wrinkle to the story – home video footage of father Richard Heene releasing the balloon, after a countdown. He says he found out after his other son thought Falcon was on board. With this new info, Richard was still not understanding all these ‘hoax’ questions. “To have people say that, I think, is extremely pathetic,” he said to Diane Sawyer.

But the really disturbing part of the story came about a few minutes later, when Balloon Boy said, “Mom I feel like I’m going to vomit,” started to get sick and ran off to the bathroom. Sawyer asked if a parent wanted to go with him, since they didn’t seem to be in any hurry at all. He was back in front of the camera, with a new shirt, in minutes.

This pretty much sums up a lot that’s wrong with the situation post-empty-balloon-landing. It occurred before Falcon had thrown up:

Falcon: Mom…
One parent: Shh.
Sawyer: You seemed angry.
Richard: Yeah, well. I’m sorry for yelling at you by the way

Later the family were on NBC’s Today show, and, once again, Falcon was throwing up in his father’s lap (this time it was on camera, as the picture above shows).

Meredith Vieira asked the family about the comment on CNN last night. “Absolutely not, absolutely not, now I’m started to get ticked off, because I’m repetitively getting asked this the last couple of interviews. What do I have to gain out of this? I’m not selling anything.”

Yes, you are. You’re a reality show family, looking for more fame. You’re selling your family, your lifestyle, your odd inventions. And your son, the new bizarro world star “Balloon Boy,” is literally sick after all this.

(One note – the authorities have said they have changed their mind and will question Richard Heene further today. Sounds like a good call.)

>>> NEXT: See the full interviews from NBC, ABC and, why not, CBS too: