On Fox News’s The Five‘s Christmas Special, the political commentator quintet gave each other Secret Santa gifts.

Bob Beckel assured the viewing audience that there was a Santa, before the group cracked into a boatload of presents.

Yesterday, we had a few laughs watching Fox News reporters doing a story on a mall Santa accident and going out of their way to stress that the man wasn’t the “real” Santa Claus. Well, looks like they had the right idea as a Chicago anchorwoman got in a whole ton of trouble after saying on air that the jolly, old elf wasn’t in fact real.

And, um, just so I can cover all my bases, she was lying. Totally lying.

For some people, the Christmas season begins as early as the day after Thanksgiving or even Halloween. For me, though, it isn’t Christmas time till we are officially on the last page of the calendar. It just makes sense. I also don’t really get in the spirit until someone in a Santa costume has a comically horrible accident and the whole thing gets caught on camera. That makes less sense but it’s a family tradition for me so lay off.

Fortunately, thanks to a Florida mall Santa, the most magical time of the year is upon us.

The War on Christmas is getting out of hand. First, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was put down in a Virginia parade last week. And now Santa Claus himself has been fired from a Macy’s department store after making a risqué joke. According to the ABC News affiliate in the video below, the San Francisco-area Santa told an unamused couple that he was so jolly because “he knows where all the naughty boys and girls live.” While he says that the joke is a perennial favorite among his adult visitors, this time it cost him his job. But things worked out in the end—he was quickly hired at a local restaurant, where his salary has been doubled and his meals have become as unlimited as his freedom to tell ‘naughty’ jokes.

There may be a slight tinge of darkness to this holiday season, what with the midwestern snowstorms, the flight delays, and the inevitable health care debates sure to snow over many a family dinner table. But there’s a glowing red light at the end of the tunnel, courtesy of CGI Rudolph’s nose: NORAD’s web apps allowing you to track Santa on his journey around the world.

Esquire, Fortune, Playboy, Vanity Fair, New York: End the War on Christmas Magazine Covers! Who knows, magazines might even increase those newsstand sell-through numbers that are all doing so terribly if they just get back into the holiday spirit. To make a case, we’ve collected the Top 20 Christmas Magazine Covers of All Time.

Someone alert Bill O’Reilly. The war on Christmas may have extended its reach to include Santa Claus. Or at least Santa Claus’ lifestyle! Santa’s a bad role-model and a public health menace and he may be making children FAT. Also spreading Swine Flu. Sigh.

‘Tis the season for trend stories, and Santa‘s struggle against H1N1 could be the gift that keeps giving for local news channels. Some mall Santas’ unions have asked that their members be put on the federal government’s priority list for swine flu vaccine thanks to their frequent contact with children, but it hasn’t happened yet. As one Wisconsin channel put it, “as opposed to coming down the chimney flue, it’s coming down with swine flu.”