Shortly after news of the Letterman scandal broke (you may recall that it was broken by intrepid reporter David Letterman), Nikki Finke theorized that CBS wouldn’t investigate Letterman’s “single man sex with staffers at his independent production company Worldwide Pants.” CBS boss Les Moonves and his boss, Sumner Redstone, had both had adulterous affairs, she argued, and so they wouldn’t be too keen on digging into Letterman.

But as the New York Observer‘s Felix Gilette reports, CBS will be looking into the sex-and-extortion saga the way they know best: with a crack investigative reporter. Armen Keteyian, who has won eight Emmys over the course of his career for a distinguished blend of sports and straight news reporting, is heading up the investigative team.

Gilette reports:

Whether the story ever makes it to the airwaves remains to be seen. But current and former CBS News staffers who spoke to The Observer said they’d be surprised if the news divisions pulls any punches. “From having talked to some friends there, who are pretty highly placed, they really want to hit this story hard, like any other journalistic story,” Dr. Bob Arnot, a former CBS news correspondent and friend of Mr. Halderman’s, recently told The Observer. “They want to be ahead of the pack because it’s in their own house.”

As a news network, CBS is in an unusual position when it comes time to investigate one of its own. Whereas a typical corporation might respond by launching an internal investigation, complete with outside auditors and a standardized procedure, CBS has a stable of its own auditors working in the newsroom. As such, the process by which they will handle this is murky: “Whether the story ever makes it to the airwaves remains to be seen.” Could a producer, in theory, axe Keteyian’s piece not because of the awkward internal element, but because she thought it was bad journalism? If that happened, would anyone believe that was the real reason?

The very news that this is happening represents a firm commitment by CBS. CBS Evening News executive EP Rick Kaplan went on the record saying that they would cover the story “as aggressively as we cover any story of this kind, trying to learn what we can and get the critical interviews.” If this was all behind-the-scenes, it would, a conspiracy theorist might say, be easier to kill if it wasn’t to someone’s liking. But if the exposé doesn’t air now, it would unleash a wave of horrible PR for the network. CBS’s integrity in following through with this and so boldly stating its intentions should be lauded — and could just lead to the scoop of the year.

(image via ABC News)

New York Times’ David Carr acknowledges that thus far Letterman has appeared to escape the worst repercussions of a sex scandal; namely loss of advertisers and viewers, but warns tougher days could be ahead:

There are two issues, the first having to do with media dynamics: will the drip, drip, drip of coverage of the legal case eventually erode his standing as someone suitable to tuck us in every night? And second, could his pratfall hurt his comedy?

Mr. Letterman’s hero Johnny Carson thrived in people’s living rooms at the same time that he worked his way through three divorces; his lack of skill in marital matters never seemed to diminish his appeal. But Mr. Carson lived in a very different media epoch, when there was no Gawker, the tabloids were far tamer and TMZ were just three letters of the alphabet.

Carr goes on to note that Gerald Shargel, the lawyer for Robert Halderman, is a pitbull who will stop at nothing to produce dirt on Dave. So far of course it seems like the excess in coverage, especially coming after Roman Polanski’s arrest and numerous political sex ‘scandals’, has only succeeded in highlighting the absurdity of the coverage Letterman has received. An irony that the Washington Post‘s Howie Kurtz touches on, and appears to sort of defend.

But what made Letterman think he could offer an open-ended admission about sleeping with subordinates without sending the media into a frenzy? [What indeed!] Perhaps he sees himself as occupying a different realm — an entertainer who pokes fun at politicians for sexual shenanigans, not a public figure whose own dalliances are deserving of such scrutiny.

The Ensign story is complicated and not very visual. Letterman is far more famous. So the comic is turned into media fodder and the officeholder largely stays under the radar…But Letterman left too many blanks in the picture — how many women, over what period of time? — and reporters rushed to fill them in.

One might argue reporters would have rushed to fill even minor fractures in Letterman’s story regardless of what Letterman had said. Also? At least the “realm” Letterman is occupying is not of the high horse variety, the same of which cannot be said of, for example, Howie Kurtz.

And it did not occur to me last week when I was discussing having had sex with women who worked on this show, that then what would happen is reporters and newspaper people and radio and TV would start hounding the staff and saying, ‘What do you say, are you, and this and that.’ It was very, very unpleasant and I would just like to set the record straight, no, I’m not having sex with these women, those episodes are in the past.

Really? Really it did not occur to him that the tabloids would have a field day with this story and do their best to dig up all parties involved? Come on. Did David Letterman just move to New York City? Was this past weekend his first encounter with the morning newsstand tabloids? I’ve never met David Letterman but I’m pretty confident that the answer to both questions is no. A big resounding no.

This story arrived straight out of central tabloid casting; no matter how upset or distracted Letterman was — and no doubt he was both — the man has too much media savvy not to know better. You don’t announce multi-million dollar extortion sex scandal on a national television program in the manner in which he did without some forethought. Anyway, the question now is how many more days can the papers stretch this story out as cover material (we’re currently on day five – gallery below) and how completely will Stephanie Birkitt’s life be ruined before a) this is over, or b) she pens a book deal to turn those infamous diaries into a proper book?

The Five Day Arc of a Tabloid Scandal – Day One

NEXT: The Five Day Arc of a Tabloid Scandal – Day Two

Let’s just take it back a step, shall we? Here’s a few things to perhaps keep in mind amidst all this ‘sextortion’. One, Letterman didn’t actually get married until last March. Two, and this is arguably the most important point, thus far not one of the women staffers allegedly involved with him have stepped forward now, or at any point in the past, to suggest that they were in any shape or form harassed. In fact, according to the NYT “CBS executives did quietly seek and receive assurances that none of the women Mr. Letterman was talking about were under age and that no woman who was involved with him had felt threatened about her job.” This fact alone would strongly suggest that what we actually seem to talking about here, in terms of Dave’s alleged love life, is simply case of consensual sex between a powerful man and the women who worked around him. Wow right? A jaw dropper. Of course, you’d have to dig through some pretty blaring headlines to reach that conclusion.

Why is Stephanie Birkitt bearing the brunt of all this shock and awe?

As Rachel Sklar asked earlier tonight, “Which Letterman should we believe?” Well here’s what they both had to say.

In addition to the jokes released in the monologue clip earlier tonight (video below), here were a few more from the monologue:

There’s a possibility that I’ll be the first talk show host impeached.

It’s Fall here in New York City, and I spent the whole weekend raking my hate mail.

It’s cold too. Chilly outside my house, chilly inside my house.

Normally when I’m shaken down for money, it’s my relatives.

This is only phase one. This is phase one of the scandal. Phase two, next week I go on Oprah and sob.

This was phase one of Letterman’s handling of the awkward situation. The funny, self-deprecating, somewhat surprising route. Then, after a commercial break, he got serious:

I wasn’t going to talk about it anymore, but it seems like people want to talk about it. And when you’re blackmailed, it’s a crime and you are a victim. It’s felony extortion is what it is. And it’s a nasty thing to do to people. Now being a victim, and if you happen to, your behavior is responsible for hurting people, that’s a separate part of the equation. And it did not occur to me last week when I was discussing having had sex with women who worked on this show, that then what would happen is reporters and newspaper people and radio and TV would start hounding the staff and saying, ‘What do you say, are you, and this and that.’ It was very, very unpleasant and I would just like to set the record straight, no, I’m not having sex with these women, those episodes are in the past. So my apologies to subjecting them to that vulnerability.

It’s equally surprising that Letterman didn’t think the press would look into who these women would be, since he decided to admit to this in such a public setting, and in such a vague way (considering the salacious subject matter). Then he moved to his wife. “She has been horribly hurt by my behavior. And when something happens like that, if you hurt a person, and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it,” he said. “Let me tell you, folks, I got my work cut out for me.”

He did throw in a joke at the end: “Now because what can it hurt, I’d like to apologize to the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.”

He joked about being the “first talk show host impeached,” but while impeachment won’t happen, the legal entanglements are likely just getting started. The lawyer of the man arrested for Letterman’s extortion, Robert J. Halderman, was out over the past couple days dropping hints to what the defense of his client would be – and bashing Letterman in the process. Tonight he told the New York Times “he would put forward evidence that Mr. Letterman had engaged in sexual harassment of his staff members.”

So…jokes!

Seriously, more media coverage will come tomorrow and the rest of the week (and weeks and months ahead) about the story, the various legal issues as well as Letterman’s public handling of the situation. If anything comes out of this, Letterman will likely gain an even bigger nightly audience as he further cements his place as the top late night host. Cynics will say this is a ratings ploy, but there has to be more to it. Whether CBS and Letterman’s lawyers agree with the out-in-the-open, half-joking (literally and figuratively) route the CBS host has chosen to deal with these issues, we’ll find out soon. As long as Letterman keeps talking.

Here’s part of the monologue tonight:

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To hear Lewittes tell it, it was like any other Emmy night: Los Angeles traffic was clogged and Lewittes, an Access Hollywood producer at the time, was running late. And so, clad in a tuxedo, he ditched his ride and started making his way toward the theater on foot. To his surprise, he saw a familiar face:

About three blocks away, I saw David Letterman, dressed in shorts and smoking a cigar, briskly walking away from the auditorium. With him was a woman dressed in black. That was Stephanie Birkitt, Letterman’s former assistant, with whom he had a sexual relationship, and who later took up with “48 Hours” producer Robert “Joe” Halderman, the alleged exortionist who reportedly used her diary and e-mails as proof of her relationship with Letterman in an effort to squeeze the talk-show host out of $2 million.

Despite intermittent urgings from Birkitt, Letterman tried to resist attending the show and even agreed to a quick chat on a bus bench with Lewittes for Access Hollywood, probably in an attempt to procrastinate from the night’s elaborate festivities. Lewittes describes noticing a “closeness” between Letterman and the woman we would later find out was his lover, but the whole story is beyond bizarre. Only in Hollywood!

Check out the entire account exclusively at Gossip Cop.

It’s probably not intentional, but it is kinda ironic. Observe as not one, but two Leno show ads pop up on Letterman’s main news page:

And again:

(h/t Adland for pointing this out; they have another as well.)

Related: David Letterman Blackmail Shocker: Host Confesses To Affairs After Extortion Attempt

What Do We Know About Robert “Joe” Halderman?

Halderman was, up until this mess broke wide open, an Emmy-winning producer for CBS’ 48 Hours. He was also a guy with a lot of friends at CBS, if his Facebook page is to be believed. They must all be stunned right now — this was their colleague, likely their friend, perhaps their boss or their mentor. And he tried to blackmail David Letterman. For $2 million dollars. What the hell was this guy thinking?

We don’t know that. But this is what we do know:

• Joe Halderman is 51, and lives in Norwalk, CT.
• Halderman has been a CBS News producer for decades, and worked on the old morning show, later “Evening News with Dan Rather,” and was shipped to London where he reported on various hotspots from around the world.
• He produced the Showtime documentary “Beslan: Three Days in September” about the school in the small Russian city of Beslan occupied by Chechen rebels (narrated by Julia Roberts.)
• He lists over 50 CBS staffers, plus friends from other networks including ABC and ESPN as Facebook friends, including many with high-level positions like 48 Hours Executive Producer Susan Zirinsky and former CBS News president Andy Heyward, Executive Editor at CBS News Al Briganti and legal analysts Andrew Cohen.
• He is divorced, some say it got messy (children invovled) and has been dating a woman who had worked at “48 Hours.”
• According to the NY Daily News, Halderman lived with CBS Late Show staffer Stephanie Birkitt citing public records out of New York (pictured below)

Read more:
NY Daily News: David Letterman reveals $2M sex affair

EW.com “David Letterman’s Girl Friday tells all”

Image of Stephanie Burkitt from EW.com

Image of Joe Halderman is from his Facebook page.