Fortunately, Mediaite has come up with some costume suggestions for you. Pulled straight from the headlines, these are guaranteed to be hits:

For obvious reasons, the current president of the United States is likely to be a popular Halloween costume this year. But beyond form-fitting Hart Schaffner Marx suits, the challenge remains: How is a trick-or-treater supposed to pull off the look?

Fortunately, cable pundit/voice of reason Glenn Beck is on the case. A well-executed Obama according to Glenn Beck’s imagination should wear a Che Guevara t-shirt, a Hitler mustache, and a Soviet-style ushanka, preferably bearing a red hammer-and-sickle. Gasoline can for torching the Average American optional.

Barack Obama, According to Keith Olbermann’s Imagination

Cable pundit/voice of reason Keith Olbermann, on the other hand, might have slightly different ideas about what constitutes a good Obama costume. Olbermann’s Obama should have billowy, flowing wings, a resplendent halo, and, if budget allows, a heavenly host of sanctified Cabinet appointees carrying blazing swords and playing gleaming trumpets, singing the praise of the anointed one, and also mentioning offhandedly that Bush kind of sucked.

Summer of Death

Year-by-year, the Grim Reaper is always a popular Halloween costume, particularly among people who don’t have any costume ideas when they go to Party City on October 30th and kind of just phone it in. But coming off the Summer of Death, the costume has a special resonance this year. A (sexy) black hood, (sexy) black robe, and (sexy) blood-dripping scythe are of course mandatory, but how to work in the contemporary angle? It would probably be in poor taste to carry photos of Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite, etc. A safer bet might be to carry around copies of expired mags Gourmet, Trump, Vibe, Nickelodeon Magazine, etc.

Levi Johnston

Last year’s Levi costume would have been an awkward suit and a hockey stick, but this year it’s much different — now that he’s an aspiring male model. Sarah Palin‘s former-almost-son-in-law is promising to reveal “huge” things about the former VP candidate, but the big news is his upcoming spread in Playgirl. For this popular costume, just wear briefs and bask in your 15 minutes of fame (briefs optional).

Next Page: Great newsy group costumes, and a twist on the Andre Agassi look

Since being named to the position this summer, Ohlmeyer has filed three columns at the precise rate of one per month. But in an awkward bit of timing for ESPN, Ohlmeyer’s latest opus went up online on the very same day the New York Post first reported that former Mets GM turned ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips had engaged in an affair with a production assistant 24 years his junior.

The unintentional concurrence highlighted the limitations of the ESPN ombudsman role in its current state. Ohlmeyer’s column, like his previous two pieces, is an affable, storytelling ramble clocking in at over 3,000 words. Unfortunately, the words “sexual harrassment” account for zero of them. In the fast-paced aftermath of the Phillips scandal, which included a wild feud with Deadspin and culminated in the ultimate dismissal of Phillips from ESPN, such silence seems all the more deafening.

The initial Phillips revelation was little more than a juicy tabloid item made marginally relevant by its similarity to David Letterman’s flings. (Three’s a trend: whose extramarital May-December romance will be next?) But underlying the scandal’s cartoonishness was the troubling feeling that we’ve all been here before. Anecdotes about ESPN’s sexually-charged culture crop up with unsettling regularity, with no indication of any improvement over the years.

This point was driven home, however recklessly, by Deadspin’s AJ Daulerio. Fed up with a perceived run-around from the ESPN PR department, Daulerio tossed up on the site a treasure trove of unsavory (and unconfirmed) tips about the rampant “horndoggery” of ESPN employees. Say what you will about the respectability of Daulerio’s retaliation — everyone else has — the posts were a stark reminder of the remarkably toxic environment at ESPN.

“None of this should have happened,” ESPN’s Mark Gross admits to Ohlmeyer in Wednesday’s column. “There are no excuses. It’s embarrassing, and we apologize. Now we have to make sure it never happens again.” A wonderfully strong statement, that! Except … Gross wasn’t referring to the lecherous liaisons of ESPN staffers but rather to the “profoundly unpatriotic act” that occurred when — steel yourself! — a logistical mix-up led to a couple of college football announcers talking over a rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner. Yawn.

The rest of the new column proves no more illuminating. We learn, randomly, the Latin roots of the phrase “First, do no harm”. (Ohlmeyer seems to be gunning for William Safire’s old position: he kicked off his debut column by looking up the word “ombudsman” in the dictionary.) Later, dispensing his veteran insider’s wisdom on the difficulties of coordinating programming across eight ESPN networks (spoiler alert: it’s hard), Ohlmeyer builds to the rousing conclusion that “ESPN needs special outreach to communicate the fact that programs following live events can’t always start as scheduled.” Well, then. Doesn’t the company have more than enough, um, “special outreach” going on as it is?

>>>>NEXT: “Fun and frivolity” at ESPN

Last week the New York Post broke the story that Phillips had an affair with 22-year-old ESPN production assistant Brooke Hundley, who then contacted his wife and family. But questions still remain about Phillips’ future – and Hundley’s.

ESPN released this statement to Mediaite:

Steve Phillips is no longer working for ESPN. His ability to be an effective representative for ESPN has been significantly and irreparably damaged, and it became evident it was time to part ways.

But we asked specifically if Phillips had violated any ESPN rules, and spokesperson Josh Krulewitz referred us to the statement. The statement makes a point to say Phillips’ “ability to be an effective representative” is the reason he is no longer working there, which implies it may have been a response to the uproar, rather than a violation of a rule.

When the Post first reported the story last week, ESPN’s statement was noticeably different. “We were aware of this and took appropriate disciplinary action at the time,” it said. “We have granted Steve’s request for an extended leave of absence to allow him to address it. We have no further comment.” A source told the Post the amount of time was one week. As the story has evolved, ESPN’s position clearly has as well – and now Phillips has been fired.

And here’s another twist to the whole story – Sports Illustrated reporter Jon Heyman tweets a statement from Phillips’ lawyer: “Steve Phillips is voluntarily admitting himself to an inpatient treatment facility to address his personal issues.” We’re not sure exactly what this means, but it appears there’s more to the story here.

While Phillips may not have broken any ESPN rules, what about Brooke Hundley? The 22-year-old production assistant began cyber-stalking his son and left a note at his house, causing his wife to call the police. But Krulewitz had “no comment” regarding whether Hundley was still an employee with the network, or if she was up for any potential repercussions.

This story is far from over, but now we know it won’t involve Phillips making his return to ESPN.

> Update: The latest from ESPN: A spokesperson tells Mediaite, “Brooke Hundley is no longer working here.” We hear that, just like Phillips, she was fired. That was quick…

Now the relationship between the Worldwide Leader in Sports and Deadspin seems severely damaged.

Chris LaPlaca, ESPN SVP of corporate communications, released this statement to Mediaite:

Deadspin’s self-admitted rumor mongering is despicable behavior by any standard and shows callous disregard for its impact on people’s lives. It is not worthy of response and those responsible should be called to account. ESPN is home to thousands of hard working, creative and caring people who are the key to our success. Our company is not perfect but we will continue to do all we can to provide each of our employees with a positive working environment.

And around the rest of the web, other sports blogs spoke out about Deadspin’s decision, saying it hurts the credibility of all sports blogs.

We talked to Deadspin editor A.J. Daulerio on yesterday’s Office Hours about how this happened, and how he came to the decision to unleash the power of the tip box. “I think that the relationship that you have with PR people, I know it’s their job to keep these things under wraps as much as possible, but we’ve been pretty fair with ESPN and this was something that I perceived as kind of a slight and threw a little bit of a temper tantrum on the site about it,” he said. “And obviously you saw what transpired on the site, and I’m getting a lot of crap about it, but it happened, and here we are.”

While Daulerio says the tip they originally got was not exactly what the story ended up being, he says “this wasn’t completely off base…It just felt like there was a level of trust that I had with this person that felt a little eroded.”

The decision is likely to impact what Deadspin looks like in the future. For fans of the site, it has worked hard to be recognized as a legitimate sports news outlet by ESPN and others. Now, this will damage that reputation. And while other sports sites question the lasting effect on their credibility, the slippery slope of publishing tips, even those that have a significant portion of truth to it, will turn those who oppose the practices of blogs even further against them. But what Wednesday did was secure Deadspin’s place in the marketplace – as their slogan says, the site is “sports news without access, favor or discretion.” If it edged toward the mainstream recently, Wednesday was a step back into the discretion-free side of the blogosphere. And to huge traffic numbers.

> Update: Daulerio responds to ESPN’s statement, telling Mediaite:

It’s not surprising and, honestly, what else could they possibly say at this point? I’m sure I made a lot of people angry and annoyed over there, but I also made a lot of people quite giddy. And, please, this wasn’t at all about casting moral judgment (who the fuck am I to do that?) — it’s about a flimsy code of conduct policy that gets enforced whenever it makes the company look bad in public. That’s annoyed plenty of ESPN employees.

Here’s the full show yesterday – with Daulerio’s interview coming at the 28-minute mark:

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And that’s just the beginning – there are websites digging up info and pictures of the woman in question – and now one blog is ready to empty their inbox to expose other potential ESPN sexual trysts.

This is what happens when you piss off a blog that gets a lot of tips, many of which are accurate. In the wake of the news today about Phillips (other details – getting a divorce, suspended from ESPN for a week, entire letter from other woman, Brooke Hundley, to his wife published in full), Gawker Media sports blog Deadspin.com has their own backstory.

It appears they knew about the story in September, and held it after speaking with ESPN. The Worldwide Leader in Sports told editor AJ Daulerio he “would be wrong” to print anything, and he “was summarily nothing-to-see-here-please-dispersed.”

Well that doesn’t really sit well with Daulerio now. Here’s what will happen today on the site:

Since the tenuous connection between rumor and fact for accuracy’s sake has been a little eroded here, well, it’s probably about time to just unload the inbox of all the sordid rumors we’ve received over the years about various ESPN employees. Chances are, at this point, there’s some truth to them. We’ll just throw ‘em out there and see how many “no comments” or, you know, actual comments or “you would be completely wrongs” there are about these situations. Consider this one giant all-day version of “Deleted Scenes” or something.

This may not end well – but it’s going to be quite the juicy, traffic-driving day over at Deadspin! We’re sure Nick Denton approves…

Here’s a video of Phillips doing some promo work for a baseball camp. It should provide ample “that’s what she said” opportunities:

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