The campaign is called “Stop Colbert” and the Colbert in question isn’t the Comedy Central host but rather “Stephen Colbert” the character. On the campaign’s Facebook page and in a tongue in cheek video, Pelosi pretends to attack Colbert as a pro-Super PAC money hoarder, which is, of course, the fake position of the show’s satire. The video is even designed to emulate one of the parody Super PAC ads that the Report has been making in the past few months.

Here’s Pelosi’s jokey narration:

“Stephen Colbert used to be my friend. I even signed the poor baby’s cast when he hurt his hand. But since the day he started his Super PAC, taking secret money from special interests, he’s been out of control, even using his super PAC to attack my friend, Newt Gingrich. And if that weren’t enough, I hear he doesn’t even like kittens. Colbert must be stopped. I’m Nancy Pelosi and I support this ad because Americans deserve a better tomorrow today.”

It’s a smart choice from Pelosi. Honestly, Colbert and his show has done more in the last year to let Americans know about the negatives of Super PACs that, say, the Obama Administration could ever hope to (especially now). By positioning herself (we’re assuming from the slightly inferior production values on both the ad and Facebook page that Colbert’s actual team had nothing to do with this) as being both in on the joke and part of solution, Pelosi might be able to give the bill the Colbert bump it needs.

Still, just like Stephen Colbert will probably never actually run for office, there’s something a little uncomfortable to watching Pelosi try her hand as a comedian.

(h/t HuffPo)

Colbert then demonstrated how users could interact with her music using various touch-pad motions.

“It has apps that go with it,” Colbert observed. “I have to tell you the apps are kind of dangerous because I was trying to watch your album while driving to work today and nearly killed myself! Like look at this. Are we turned up here? Look at this–an app that allows you to–I get to join the song! Look at that — and then if you go through the phases of the moon, it changes what the song is like. That is extraordinary.” Colbert later asked if he could lick the album.

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Bjork explained she created her album with a touch screen, a lemur device. She had planned to do this in 2008, but the technology didn’t exist at the time.

“You’re using this to teach kids about science and music at the same time,” Colbert exclaimed. “Why sully something as beautiful as music with something as ugly as science?”

“I was excited about science when I was a kid,” Bjork shared.

“Do you people believe in elves there?” Colbert asked. “I read you people believe in elves in Iceland? Is that true?”

“We do,” she acknowledged. “It’s sort of a relationship with nature, like with the rocks they all live in the rocks, so you have to– it’s all about respect, you know.”

“You gotta respect the elves?” Colbert quipped.

Watch Björk’s interview with Colbert below:

And watch her perform “Cosmogony”:

Lucky guy. The most God’s ever said to Mediaite is from that one burning bush that told us to stop doing Casey Anthony posts or he’d kill our first born son. Presumably Geekosystem.

Anyway, whereas some newsmen would become consumed by jealousy in the face of Robertson’s sweet Jehovah hookup, Stephen Colbert was ready to help the cause, praying for His forgiveness for electing that stupid, Socialist jerk face.

RELATED: God Told Pat Robertson Who The Next President Will Be

Not only did Colbert pray for our protection, he went all the way, bumping up his regular “Prayer Hat” to a sparkly “Somprayero.” Now that screams “humble before the face of the Lord.”

Perhaps the best moment of the segment, however, came as Colbert cycled through the protective measures for different calamities Robertson mentioned. It got me thinking, is there anything more powerful than a writer on a successful TV show? These guys just say “Get me a chicken!” in the morning and, within a few hours, a chicken’s there. That is real power. Hell, I’m starting to think we should all start worshipping TV writers instead of God, am I right?

…oh, now I did it. Here comes the talking bush again.

Watch the clip from Comedy Central below:

It really was the best possible option. Like so often happens, while the Report airs at 11:30pm, it tapes around 7 so they were unable to give the real results and-

Wait, what’s that? The results didn’t come in till after 2:30 in the morning? Huh. Sucks for whoever was up covering it.

Anyway, Colbert, taking inspiration from the great Paul the Octopus, placed Megyn in a model of a debate stage and waited for her to choose the winner. And she chose…no one.

That makes sense. She’s probably just waiting for the last minute when she’ll just settle for Mitt Romney anyway.

Watch the clip from Comedy Central below:

Recently, there has been a growing debate in South Carolina (Colbert’s home state) over who exactly would pay for the Republican Party’s primary, the first in the southern part of America. State officials had actually begun suing the political parties over the fact that taxpayers were going to have to foot the bill for the vast majority of the costs including debates, advertisements, etc. Colbert then offered to foot $400,000 to help pay the cash-strapped counties’ share. According to his editorial, the South Carolina Republican Party were eager to accept the money…even with some conditions Colbert put forth.

From Colbert’s editorial:

“[The South Carolina GOP representatives] got on a plane and flew to New York to make the deal. Because money talks, B.S. walks, and $400,000 flies business class.

We hammered out a contract over barbecue. Colbert Super PAC would pay up to $400,000 directly to the state and counties to defray the cost of the election. In return, the primary’s official name would be ‘The Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Republican Primary.’ This name would appear on all press releases, official notices and signage, including the debates. We would finally raise democracy to the same level as the Tostitos™ Fiesta Bowl and Kardashian™ weddings.

Most importantly, the following non-binding referendum would appear on the ballot:

In order to address the issue of Corporate Personhood, the enfranchised People of the Sovereign State of South Carolina declare that:
( ) Corporations are people.
( ) Only people are people.”

Can we take a look at what Colbert did? The goal of this whole Colbert Super PAC situation has been to show off the immense level of corporate collusion and greed that goes into are electoral process and he’s done that in the most amazing way possible. He allegedly got people to agree to put a giant corporate logo infront of the entire primary. He literally got the very targets of his satire to agree to being complicit in the entire joke by manipulating their greed which was a part of the joke in the first place. This is basically as if Jonathan Swift had persuaded the British parliament to take a picture holding Irish babies covered in vinegar and served with chips! It’s amazing.

Unfortunately, the South Carolina Supreme Court then ruled against the counties, finding that they should still pay for some of the primary. However, if Colbert is to be believed, the GOP were still perfectly happy to take his money.

“The S.C. Republican Party no longer needed my $400,000, but being Southern gentlemen, they graciously offered to still want it. They would sell me the naming rights, if instead of giving my cash to the counties, I handed it directly to the party. I asked in return that they petition the court to get the referendum back on the ballot. They said no. I offered less money, $200,000, since I was getting only half of our original agreement. They said no.

Desperate, I reached out to the S.C. Democrats, who agreed to file a request to reinstate the referendum. That’s when the S.C. Republican Party withdrew their generous offer to sell me what they weren’t paying for. They told the press that my requests, ‘were considered but were declined,’ because they, ‘were concerned about the sanctity of the primary election.’

If nothing else good comes from this, we have at least narrowed down the exact value of sanctity — somewhere between $200,000 and $400,000.”

Shortly after, news broke that the South Carolina GOP had broken its promise and wasn’t planning on paying more than half of the bill resulting in the Election Commission needing to ask for a taxpayer bailout. So Colbert is again offering money to the state, this time $500,000, again with conditions:

“In return, I ask for only two things: that you support the Democrats’ petition to get my referendum back on the ballot, and that you grant me the pre-negotiated naming rights, which, I think we can all agree, you now own.”

According to the Associated Press, the Election Commission is currently in the process of asking the state’s attorney general if they can accept the money.

The state Republicans will have you believe that they turned down Colbert’s offer right away. However, if he has written this editorial, chances are good that he has evidence to the contrary. If that’s the case, this whole thing will prove to be one of the most ingenius deconstruction of a political issue any comedian has ever attempted.

The Daily Show frequently gets more credit than The Colbert Report, winning most of the Emmy’s and whatnot, but it seems unlikely that they’d ever try anything like this (or be able to what with not having a “character” like Colbert’s persona in the forefront). Colbert and his staff truly deserve their due appreciation for what they’re accomplishing here.

And, the best part? There’s still a chance that every news channel in the country is going to have to start talking about “The Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Republican Primary.”

You will recall O’Donnell’s infamous campaign ad in which she spoke to camera and declared “I am not a witch.” So when Mediaite reported that the Tea Party candidate was supporting Romney over Gingrich, Christoper titled his post, quite cleverly, “No ‘Aye’ Of Newt: Christine O’Donnell Endorses Mitt Romney.” In last night’s show, Colbert made the very same joke, declaring “this endorsement proves that she is not a witch because a witch would have gone for the eye of Newt.” Huh.

Watch the funny clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central, heretofore known as the land of joke thieves!

There are so many jokes to unpack in the following segment that it would be better if I just got out of the way and had you just watch the clip. I will say that, for the good of the TeeVee world, let’s all hope that Cooper and Colbert continue this feud, as its about the most entertaining thing we’ve seen in a long, long time. SPOILER ALERT: It culminates with Colbert drawing phalluses all over Cooper’s face (which was the alternate headline seriously considered.)

Watch the segment below, courtesy of Comedy Central.

Prompted by a complaint from The Immigration Policy Center, the dictionary revised its definition to include a line stating that the phrase is “offensive” and “used as a disparaging term.” Colbert, thus, dedicated a wag of the finger to the “lexicowards” behind the revision.

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The host also wondered what this would mean for his own submission to the dictionary: “grappling baby,” or, what happens when a Mexican woman aims her birth canal at the U.S. in order to launch her baby across and then proceed to climb over, using the umbilical cord for help. As you do.

The solution? Volleyball players lined up across the U.S./Mexico border, ready and waiting to spike those little babies back across.

Check out the full segment, via Comedy Central:

After playing a clip from the ad, Colbert opined “Governor Perry is right. Thanks to the gays, our children can’t openly celebrate the birth of our savior in school, and yet these gays in the military can openly celebrate their favorite holiday: being away from their family, risking their lives in Afghanistan.”

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

After setting up the story of Trump’s potential debate moderation, Colbert took a mean and nasty turn toward his “friend,” launching into a pretty impressive tirade:

But I get why they’re hesitant. The guy’s a clown only with more makeup. I can they because Donald’s a friend, a tremendous guy. He’s great. We have the world’s number one-rated friendship. Having said that, He’s a joke. A big cuckoo lunatic. I wouldn’t trust him with a burnt match. This guy is not a king maker, he’s small potatoes. Fingerlings, tremendous. Best side dish ever. Do the math, I personally broadcast 161 shows a year, he does 20. A middle school production of The Music Man does more than that, okay? He’s a child. He’s a toddler wearing man pants. Look at this yuck. Looks like a gin-soaked raisin fell into a nuclear reactor.

Colbert then announced his own debate plans, which was predictably well received by his audience of supporters. Watch the segment below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Colbert defended Cain’s odd citation of a Pokemon song as he ended his speech on Saturday, by comparing it to Ronald Reagan‘s famous quotation of another favorite children’s cartoon. Funny stuff:

After showing the clip of Baier riding in a pick-up truck driven by Bush on his Crawford, Texas ranch, Colbert called out Baier’s follow-up comment of “wow!” with incredulity, saying “Wow? Wow! That’s a follow-up question! Where was that Brett Baier?” Colbert then chided the Fox News anchor by adding “All of a sudden you are admiral tough question! if anyone here is a flip-flopper it’s you Brett Baier.”

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Colbert set-up the bit by playing a news clip that cited a NY Times report that, via Gingrich’s health care consultancy, the former House Speaker made millions of dollars in assisting companies to promote their services by allegedly providing access to government officials.

Colbert call this an “outrageous accusatiom” before rhetorically asking “how dare you accuse of a congressman with no discernible skills?” He then pointed out that Gingrich couldn’t possibly be a lobbyist, because as his aides have pointed out, he is not a registered lobbyist. Colbert went for the kill, saying “if he is not registered, ergo he’s not a lobbyist…the same reason that i have not registered my Audi A8, so legally it’s not a car….which is why i can drive it on the sidewalk.”

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

“Why buy the cow,” Colbert mused, “when you can have it shakily videotape its own milk for free?”

He pointed his viewers towards CNN’s online “assignment desk,” which included what is perhaps the most classic example of reader-submitted journalism: young Tom Sawyer’s epic “Painting This Fence Is Really Fun!” article.

Colbert also noted that readers are reimbursed for their efforts with badges, which, he assumes, can probably be used to pay for food and rent. So far, readers have submitted personal vacation footage, a little girl’s weather report, and footage of some rambling man who calls himself “Blitz” or some such.

RELATED: Report: CNN Lays Off Roughly 50 Editors, Photographers And Other Staffers

Wanting in on the user-submitted story trend, Colbert created and introduced his “Me Reporters.” So, the reporters have sent in such crucial and exciting bits of news as footage of Colbert’s colonoscopy, video of a goat yelling, a screen saver, and a guy named Terry giving a rundown of the day’s headlines.

“Bravo CNN,” added Colbert, “for getting rid of all those pesky professionals. Hopefully this bold move will help you get rid of your remaining viewers.”

Have a look at the segment, via Comedy Central:

After showing promotional footage of the Odyssey Cruise, Colbert then pivoted to reconsider past Gingrich scandals in a new research oriented light.

That half a million dollar line of credit at Tiffany’s? He was just studying the reckless spending that is ruining our economy. His million-plus fake twitter followers? A daring expose of internet fraud. The three wives, two of whom he cheated on, one while she was battling cancer…that was not gay.

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Colbert then pointed out how Bachmann and her campaign advisers turned this outrage into an “outrage-portunity,” sending out an email to her supporters asking them to show support by tweeting outrage to CBS News, before asking for a donation to Bachmann’s campaign to fight against the media’s liberal bias. Colbert then analyzed the effort by saying “folks, it’s true…Michele Bachmann needs your donations because not only does the media have a liberal bias, but evidently so does money.”

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Colbert’s dig was pegged to a video depicting a peaceful protest turned violent at the Cal campus that recently went viral. Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

The balance of the segment focused on the curious effect that this scandal has had on the fundraising efforts of the Herman Cain campaign (never been better!) and Colbert’s effort to sexually harass his own intern while plugging his ColbertSuperPAC.com website. Watch the funny segment for yourself, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Future historians may very well look back at the “muffingate” story and use it as an example of the decline of the American empire, for there is no shortage of absurdity and misinformation at nearly every level. O’Reilly’s allegation that the $16 muffin appears to have been overstated, however his bully pulpit platform and reasonable allegation of wasteful government spending inspired President Obama to order federal agencies to review expenses for conferences. Turns out that U.S. taxpayers didn’t actually spend $16 per muffin, but that the overall cost included coffee and tea service and room rental (among other charges) which amounted to roughly $4,200.

We know this now, because of the 151-page Audit of Department of Justice. Conference Planning and Food and Beverage Costs report, which was highlighted by Colbert last night, and in the segment below.

Colbert responded by saying “of course, due diligence, always comes after accusing the president of killing Christians,” adding “that’s why it’s called ‘re-search.’ If you do it before, it’s called ‘Pre-search.’” The fake opiniotainer that funny jag that read the seemingly innocuous mission statements of the American Nazi party and Bank of America to great comedic effect.

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

The essence of Colbert’s commentary:

Suck it up, unemployed. It is your own damn fault that you don’t have a job. Speaking of which, where are all these jobs Obama keeps promising? People can’t find work and it is all the president’s fault. So stop scapegoating Wall Street, workers. Because you’re the problem that Obama caused. His wasteful spending and bailouts are why these unemployed people can’t pull yourselves up by your own bootstraps. You whiners should shut up and fix your problems that Obama has done nothing to fix. But Herman Cain will fix the economy and get you a good job because Herman Cain knows the buck stops with 999.

The unemployed have no one to blame but themselves. And the Obama administration. Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Comedy bits and tributes for someone that has recently passed are usually mutually exclusive goals in any sort of media. And no one will confuse Colbert’s segment as a memorial to a man he barely knew. But the following segment is worth a look if only to see how Colbert ends the segment with an email reply to the man who has just departed. Watch for yourself, courtesy of Comedy Central:

“Well, politics is tough business,” Davis answered.

“It ain’t Tiddlywinks!” Colbert observed to audience approval.

“It’s not Tiddlywinks so you never know, you could be a wildly successful candidate at the state level, he’s obviously an incredibly popular governor of Texas and when you’ve got to take that on the road, you know, strange things can happen,” Davis said, adding that it was too early to tell what would happen in the GOP race and noted that McCain came back from being first to last to first again.

“Absolutely!” Colbert snarked. “And the first term of his presidency has been fantastic.”

Colbert also asked Davis about a potential Mitt Romney-Barack Obama matchup. “You’ve got Romney versus Obama; a matchup between a Republican that nobody’s excited about and a Democrat everyone’s disappointed in. Who wins?”

“Ultimately, the American people win,” Davis joked.

Despite Colbert’s sarcastic barbs thrown at his former candidates, Davis remained a good sport throughout the interview.

Watch the segment below via Comedy Central:

“For instance, Chester A. Arthur spent all his summers at Thieving Chinaman Springs! And Richard Nixon used to go fly fishing at Jews Control The Media Creek! Even Barack Obama spends a lot of time at Camp David, which until recently, only admitted white presidents.”

Colbert also points out that Perry’s camp name began as an innocent word, noting that a commenter at Red State deemed it to be a “technical term” meaning among many definitions, “the striking weight on a pile driver” “an isolated coral head, notorious as a navigation hazard” or a “black iron post for mooring ships”. “See!” Colbert exclaimed. “It just meant anything that was dark and bothersome that you would pound on the head or tie a rope around. Nothing offensive about it, okay? Let’s move on!”

Watch the segment below, via Comedy Central:

The fake news personality takes the GOP tax base logic to its natural conclusion of taxing those who make no money before arriving at his stated desire to dig up graves for precious valuables to help pay our country’s debt. In fact, the seeming oversimplification of such a complicated concept of optimizing tax revenues by increasing taxes on America’s poorest citizens is just enough of an absurd idea for Colbert to amplify to his unique form of laudatory-cum-mocking comedy.

Watch the following funny segment below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

While some have breathlessly opined that the media has failed the public by allowing Bachmann to spread misinformation about the HPV vaccine, Colbert takes the opposite approach to much greater effect: amplification of the absurd comments to comedic effect:

Folks, I am telling you, I am telling you, the only thing keeping our kids from humping at the bus stop is fear of the big “C.” You let the government mandate a vaccine that helps prevent one form of cervical cancer, and you might as well let the U.N.’s jackbooted thugs hold down your little princess and inject her with pharmaceutical grade slut juice. Giving your girl this vaccine is admitting that one day in the future she may have premarital or post marital sex.

Watch the segment below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Last week Rick Perry earned spontaneous applause when moderator Brian Williams alluded to the record number of executions in Texas under his leadership. During Monday night’s debate, Ron Paul was asked by moderator Wolf Blitzer if he would let a hypothetically uninsured man in a coma die. Paul answered “no,” but several in the crowd hooted “Yeah!” to a smattering of laughter.

Regarding the political viability of the “angel of death, Colbert stated “clearly he is popular with the GOP base this year,” adding “He’s got all the qualifications they’re looking for: he’s old and bone white, he’s packing a weapon, he’s got an incredible war record, and believe me, no one wants to get rid of Obamacare more than this guy”

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Artist Jennifer Dalton discovered this considerable disparity after casually wondering when the last time a female guest had been on The Daily Show.

“I thought it was me, that I was just looking for that,” Dalton said in an interview with writer Caroline Miranda. “Then I went into the archives and I was like, ‘No f*cking way.’”

“[Colbert and Stewart] are heroes of mine and I think they’re doing really important work, but I just end up confused. It’s like are you with me or against me? I think of you as on my team, but maybe you don’t think of me as on your team? I would just love for these producers to be like, ‘Here’s a pile of women we rejected. Did we reject them too quickly?’”

This conundrum makes up the heart of Dalton’s “Cool Guys Like You” exhibition, which opened in Chelsea last Friday, and is showing until October 15. Dalton screencapped dozens of Daily Show guests, organized them by their subject areas, and placed the men in gold frame, the women in silver ones. The difference is stark, as frames in gold vastly outnumber the ones in silver.

Dalton is not alone in her criticism of the show’s gender disparity. Last year, Jezebel writer Irin Carmon drew the ire of Daily Show staffers when she criticized the hiring of Olivia Munn and characterized the show as a “boy’s club”. The women of The Daily Show responded with an open letter saying the show wasn’t “a boy’s club or a girl’s club, it’s a family.”

In 2011 so far, only 15% of Daily Show guests have been women.

(H/T C-Monster)

Pawlenty continued the interview in a relaxed and entertaining manner rarely seen while he was on the campaign trail. Many polls still suggest uncertainty, and to some degree, dissatisfaction with the current slate of GOP candidates with the Republican base, though “generic Republican” still compares favorably as a favorite in a run against President Obama. Ladies and Gentlemen, Tim Pawlenty was the “generic Republican” you were looking for.

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Colbert then offered his own list of cable news personalities, delivered in poop pun style. There was Gretchen “Hot” Carlson, “Fudge” Andrew Napolitano and of course Steve Doocy. Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central: