According to The Times‘ Emmarie Huetteman, Romney (flying coach, of course) was polite and gracious to passenger Carolyn McClanahan, and even posed for a picture with her, before things got ugly:

According to Ms. McClanahan, about an hour into the flight — which Mr. Romney mostly spent reading USA Today and using an iPad while wearing headphones — she told him her idea for improving the American health care system: slashing overhead costs by switching to an electronic billing system.

“He looked at me blankly and said, ‘I understand,’ then put his iPad headphones in and kept reading,” she said.

That wasn’t the end of Romney’s reign of meh-ror, though, as McClanahan said the former Massachusetts Gov. responded to another passenger’s request for a Boston restaurant recommendation by saying “I can’t give you any. You’ll have to ask someone else.”

This was obviously a trick question, though, as Romney would’ve gotten grief whether he sent that passenger to the nearest Subway, or for a reservation at Chez Monopoly Guy.

Now, I kid Romney, but I’ve got to give him props for restraint here. If someone interrupted me while I was rereading the latest Twilight book on my iPad, I’d have been like, “Really? You thought up an electronic billing system? Let me show you my idea for a unicycle, but with two wheels! I call it the ‘Quarter-OctoCycle!’”

Based on this experience, McClanahan ruefully (see what I did there?) told The Times, ““I feel he’s out of touch or doesn’t want to be in touch or that he’s afraid to be in touch. He’s just like people describe him: just very wooden.”

As Romney himself has said, there are many reasons not to vote for him, but his politely wanting to be left the eff alone on an airline flight should not be one of them. This story just underscores the self-fulfilling nature of the political media’s “who do you want to have a beer with” narrative on picking presidents. I think most people, upon encountering their president at the local watering hole, would ask, “Why are you having a beer with me? Don’t you have shit to do?”

Granted, there are lots of people who do cast their votes on the basis of irrelevant things like “relatability,” and it is weirdly fun to watch candidates chase that idea, but shouldn’t the media push back against that, rather than simply reflect it?

When you contrast this story with the one that kicked off last week, it really becomes a sad joke. Herman Cain started the week evading questions about alleged sexual harassment, then capped off a raft of contradictory TV appearances on the subject by being wildly, raucously cheered by the Republican base, and maintained his already inexplicable grip on the GOP frontrunner’s spot.

Romney, on the other hand, is clearly the most qualified candidate in the field, but no matter what he does, the Republican townspeople always seem to want a different sheriff. The whole thing is beginning to remind me of the story of poor Frank Grimes, from what was probably The Simpsons‘ most darkly comic episode ever.

Grimes was a hard-working, competent hard luck case who found himself in a rivalry with Homer Simpson, and no matter how badly Homer screwed up, or how hard-working and competent Grimes was, people still loved Homer, and hated Grimes. He ends up dead, his tombstone engraved with the Homer-bestowed nickname that he despised, “Grimey.”

The episode serves as an audacious critique of the utter failure of substance in our culture, as it invites viewers to love Homer, and loathe Grimey, in complete defiance of the merits. That same dynamic has been playing out in our politics for a long time, strongly abetted by the news media.

Romney sat down with Today‘s Jamie Gangel in his home and gave several textbook answers to campaign questions: President Obama’s handling of the economy gets an F; his religion will not have a deep impact on his governing style. Of the latter, when asked whether he saw his faith as a problem, Romney reminded Gangel that “we’re not electing a pastor in chief, we’re electing a commander in chief.”

Romney also displayed a fairly robust sense of humor about his faith, noting that his reaction to the Matt Stone/Trey Parker Broadway production The Book of Mormon was to laugh. “South Park is funny,” he admitted, adding, “you know your faith has made it big time when it’s being made fun of on Broadway.” But even more shocking was his admission that he read and enjoyed Twilight, the vampire series that became that movie your 12-year-old cousin wouldn’t stop talking about. “I like the Twilight series; I thought that was fun,” he said, adding that he discovered it through his granddaughter. He did add a caveat though: “I don’t like vampires personally– I don’t know any.”

Whatever you say, Romney. The Atlantic tracked down the incriminating photo of Romney with Twilight star Rob Pattinson from the Boston Globe from a taping of The View. He may not like vampires personally, but he at least seems to prefer them to werewolves.

Romney’s conversation on Today this morning via NBC below:

That’s one of the jokes in the parody movie Vampires Suck, which was released last weekend by News Corp.-owned movie company 20th Century Fox.

The line comes when one character is trying to explain to the main character why vampires are so dangerous. “They’re evil blood suckers who only care about themselves and their own narrow-minded view of the world,” says the character. “Sort of like Fox News.”

In a movie that makes fun of everyone from Lady Gaga to the Black Eyed Peas, and skewers the Twilight franchise and its hardcore fans, it’s hard to take anything any of the characters say too seriously. But considering Fox News and 20th Century Fox are under the same News Corp. umbrella, it’s a little surprising to see such a blatant political shot.

For what it’s worth, Vampires Suck opened as the #2 movie of the weekend, despite getting a 5% Rotten Tomatoes rating (that’s not good).

The line hasn’t affected Fox News’ promotion of the movie. There’s this FoxNews.com interview with the star of the movie, and below is a FoxNews.com entertainment segment about it:

(via, via – the exact line may be a slight variation of the one above)

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» Follow Steve Krakauer on Twitter

On today’s Special Report, Bret Baier pointed out that the accused being held at Guantánamo were allowed to watch the World Cup on tape, with videos coming in regularly of matches. “I don’t even think I was able to watch the whole World Cup,” Baier joked, and tossed it over to Krauthammer, who had a question for the tourism industry: “How do I get two weeks at Gitmo? Sounds really good– the weather’s good, I get eighteen channels, a lot of exercise and I don’t have to work.”

He also had some very strong words on the initial signing of Obama’s executive order, calling it “amateur hour” and a result of President Obama thinking he was “king of the world” and the order would be followed through on without effort. The rest of the panel had similar opinions, suggesting that the Gitmo issue was put on standby in order to pass health care reform and that it has now become a liability.

Fox News Contributor Steve Hayes had a similar assessment to Krauthammer’s, pointing out the Twilight books and complaining that they were optional reading material– “if they were forced to read them, then it would be torture,” after which Krauthammer suggested the Special Report retreat should be at Gitmo, the better to play video games.

Video below:

O’Reilly picks up on the Twilight theme quickly–”They’re cool, they’re young, they’re chic vampires”– but they are presenting an eminent threat to America’s youth, as they are now all, apparently, trying to be the story’s lead, Edward. Plus, there is a legitimate concern about the spread of disease with teenagers drinking blood for the sake of a fad. While Gretchen Carlson had a few misgivings about letting her young children watch the movies, but Margaret Hoover was not overly worried with the trend. Hoover took the opportunity to reminisce about Angelina Jolie‘s strange blood rituals with Billy Bob Thornton and arguing that “there is teenage fringe behavior that transcends the era.” Plus, like, Edward’s “whole thing is that he doesn’t bite humans,” so anyone who is trying to bite their peers can’t possibly be a real Twihard, duh.

The segment from tonight’s Factor below:

Klobuchar apparently made it to the midnight showing of the third Twilight movie last night. Not surprisingly, Kagan did not, but Klobuchar proceeded to ask her The Ultimate Question, anyway:

“I keep wanting to ask you about the famous case of Edward vs. Jacob or the vampire vs. the werewolf.”

Kagan responded, “I wish you wouldn’t.” Klobuchar moved on by saying, “I know you can’t comment on future cases, so I’ll leave that alone…”

Isn’t there any place left where Twilight references are off limits?

Watch below:

“Through buyouts and voluntary departures, the number of full-time copy editors declined from about 75 to 43 between early 2005 and mid-2008,” he explained. “There was another round of buyouts last year, but it hasn’t yet resulted in a sharp decrease in the number of copy editors.” Well then, what could it be?

The answer may be less about staffing levels and more about the changing duties of copy editors. Gone are the days when they primarily detected errors and smoothed prose for the next day’s newspaper. Now they must also operate in an online environment where “search-engine optimization” is a key goal. That requires new skills and time-consuming additional duties.

That is to say, writing a Google-able headline is the reason that, “A story about an Arlington National Cemetery burial described a soldier wearing “shiny black boats” (instead of boots).” Sounds dubious. Sure, SEO is an added pressure, but does it really block one’s ability to differentiate “breaks” and “brakes?” Though it’s true, in a newsroom, as behind the scenes at a website, we’re all busy. “We’re now multiplatform,” said the “multiplatform editing chief” Anne Ferguson-Rohrer. But this explanation is neither specific enough, nor comforting.

And Alexander’s ‘solution’ is equally vague and confusing. “This week, The Post will begin search-engine optimization training for the entire newsroom. Front-end help from reporters and other staff should ease the burden on copy editors,” he wrote.

First lesson: cute babies, cat video, Lindsay Lohan, Twilight, am I sick?, nip slip, Lady Gaga, hot Megan Fox. Now clean up that paper!

Before you dive in a few fun things that aren’t reflected here: Glenn Beck (how that is possible, all things considered, is a really a traffic mystery) (Glenn Beck’s vagina: less of a mystery); Megan Fox (boobs and otherwise); Twilight; and Tiger Woods(!). Go figure. With that said, we had a great year here at Mediaite (all six months of it!) And we’re looking forward to the one ahead. So, happy New Year to you and may we present our most popular posts (again).

NEXT>>>> Bill Maher’s Medical Meltdown

And what better way to look at our history than to break down some of the things we’re thankful for!

We’re thankful for pop culture – TV and movies (and our media spin on them):

» Harry Potter and the media muggles

» The Twilight saga characters and their media matches

» Gossip Girl cast matched with their media mates

» The Mad Men (and women) of Morning Joe

» Saturday Night Live‘s great news spoofs

» And the Saturday Night Live-inspired “Real Biker Chicks”

We’re thankful for those times when we can be service-y:

» Halloween costumes ripped from the headlines

» Ways to get over (or not get over) a fear of flying

We’re thankful for Oprah:

» Outrageous Sarah Palin stories Oprah will have to address (she went 0 for 10)

» Best Oprah moments

We’re thankful for those we’ve lost:

» “Summer of Death”

And we’re thankful for the future:

» 25 bloggers you need to know

But mainly, we’re thankful for…you our readers. Happy Thanksgiving!

The original book installations have sold over 85 million copies — a rare home run these days for the publishing industry. The first film, against many expectations (“We just thought we were making a little cult movie,” says cast member Ashley Greene), grossed over $385 million domestically. And the saga’s second chapter, New Moon — if Entertainment Weekly’s slavish drooling is any indication — will also be a mega-hit.

Like it or not — like any wildly popular series, Twilight has many haters — but the saga is part of our literary zeitgeist, a cultural touchstone that even the anti-sparkly can’t avoid. And just like the Potter series, one just can’t help internally casting their favorite media figures as characters in the saga.

After all, if there’s any mythic creature that media characters resemble, we think “soulless vampires” and “werewolves” come pretty close.

Here’s our take on the media, Forks style.

Charlie Swan: Geraldo Rivera

He’s protective. He’s obsessed with crime. He just looks Dad-like. He’s got a moustache. Bella Swan’s overbearing pop, or Geraldo Rivera? Totes interchangable.

Renee Swan: Kathie Lee Gifford

Stephenie Meyer never explicitly states it in the series, but Bella’s mama is a hot mess. Described as “erratic and scatterbrained,” she acts first and thinks later. We picture her as the kind of woman who would flirt inapropriately with Bella’s high school friends after one too many gin and tonics. She has the best intentions, though — but still, Bella is grown-up in that relationship. She’s loud, excitable, and somewhat incomprehensible at times. Sound like a certain 4th hour host to you? Thought so.

Bella Swan: Ana Marie Cox

In the Twilight saga, almost everyone (except for some meanie vampires) loves Bella Swan. Young, lovely, but with attitude — sounds a lot like Ana Marie Cox, who spread the sunlight of blogging onto the Forks-style darkness of MSM political media. Okay maybe that’s reaching. But she’s maintained her outsider cred even while becoming one of them (oh look, there she is reviewing Palin’s book in the Washington Post!). Ana has way more spine than Twilight’s titular character (and swears more), but they certainly share the ability to collect fans: Cox is one of the top media folks on Twitter with 1.3 million followers and counting (ahead of Newt Gingrich, yo). And that little WaPo icon with Tucker Carlson almost looks like a Twilight poster.

>>>NEXT: Which media members represent the Cullen family?

You won’t believe this: it has only been one year since the live action stars of teen vampire sensation Twilight infiltrated popular culture. And part of the reason they seem like such fixtures of celebrity already — apart from their impossible good looks, effortless cool and high-powered marketing machine — is their presence in print and command of their image. Flattering pictures may not be hard to come by when you’re young and playing magical characters, but from this charming Vanity Fair spread to the endless tabloid fabrications, the kids always come out looking all right.

With this weekend’s release of the latest entry in “The Twilight Saga:” New Moon, it’s safe to say a new publicity blitz is upon us. Until now, stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have been the face of the group, but upcoming covers have been confirmed including new heartthrob Taylor Lautner (who plays Jacob) on Rolling Stone and a cast photo for Entertainment Weekly, but as you’ll see below, newsstands are already bleeding Twilight blood. Does the cast work best as an ensemble or do they have the star power to go out solo? In this edition of Cover Wars, we remember the classic covers from the Twilight franchise, knowing full well that many more are now in print. We’ll call it The Greatest Twilight Cover So Far. Here are the contenders:

Their debut cover, a July 2008 issue of Entertainment Weekly, was initially met with derision by the Twilight faithful, weary of seeing their favorite book series come to life. “That’s Edward?” they thought. But it might have been the final note of dissent — that, or the haters were drowned out by the screaming droves who quickly fell in love. The photo is cheesy, to be sure, but something about it made certain that it was the first of many.

Mediaite Grade (B-): The pale skin is too white. His sandy blonde hair seems off. An apple insinuates an incorrect fairy tale. The pair looks uncomfortable together, not drawn together by irresistible passion. And yet… maybe only in retrospect, but the B-movie feel of the cover is an apt introduction to the campy film, all glittery torsos and vampire baseball. And for Kirsten and Rob, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship…

Are they the hip young versions of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Probably — at least in the sense that their tabloid covers seem endless. Every time you step into the checkout line at a grocery store Stewart’s big bored eyes and Pattison’s glare are staring back at you, and in that sense, this OK! cover represents a much larger canon of tabloid Twilight. They’re as interchangeable as they are ubiquitous.

Mediaite Grade (C-): If you’re a fan of the celebrity romance, this is an easy one to buy into. It’s vague enough to be mysterious and picturesque enough to make for enjoyable covers. But that doesn’t mean it’s not dishonest. For instance, this issue of OK! uses a staged award show still with the headline “Yes! They’re in love.” And that’s to say nothing of “Obsessed With Each Other” or “Twilight Fight!” or… “Engaged!” Yikes.

>>>NEXT: Kristen and Rob Go Solo!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon opens in theaters almost exactly one year from the date when the first little Twilight movie entered our lives. You know, the one based on a ‘children’s book’ by Stephenie Meyer (in fact it was named one of Publishers Weekly’s best children’s books of 2005), about a teenage girl who moves to a new town and just happens to fall in love with a vampire (happens all the time), the one that single-handedly turned a tiny indie studio, Summit Entertainment Group — previously best known for partnering with Disney/Touchstone on the “Step Up” franchise — into a force to be reckoned with, and pretty much the envy of all of Hollywood. Aside from the once-a-decade type of phenomenon that is the recently released Paranormal Activity ($15K budget; $100 million-plus box office), has there been a more profitable, franchise-creating film in recent years than that first little Twilight movie? I think upon a glance at the box office returns it’s safe to say the answer is no. Let’s consider the numbers.

The first little Twilight movie had a reported budget of $37 million, and its take at the worldwide box office was over $380 million. Not too shabby a return. And these figures don’t count the receipts from the seemingly endless pieces of Twilight merchandise now flooding our economy – the boatfuls of dvds, lunch boxes, and R-Patz tshirts that are being sold (that’s Robert Pattinson for those of you playing at home). And can you imagine if the studio had a piece of tabloid magazine sales based on coverage of the star-crossed, are-they-a-couple-or-are-they-not stars of the movie series? Then we would be talking some big bucks.

Have I mentioned I have not yet seen that first little Twilight movie? Have I mentioned also that I am not a teenage girl? Well, truth be told I have the Twilight dvd in my possession and I swear I’m going to watch it soon, but I guess the point is it really doesn’t matter if I watch it. Sure, Summit will take my money gladly and I bet they secretly hope I have a crush on R. Patz too (sorry, ladies I just don’t see it), but their little business model for these little Twilight movies doesn’t really need to count on the 18-49 male demographic. Did I just type that and mean that? What other thriving Hollywood franchise of any significance can pretty much ignore the entire male movie-going population? (Sorry, Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2, based on the performance of your last film, you could use every male eyeball you can get). Don’t get me wrong, I fully realize that many male moviegoers are going to willingly tag along as dates with their female companions to see the next installment of Hollywood’s brand-new powerhouse franchise, and that there are many single men of all sexual orientations who will be lining up at theaters tonight. But none of those men matter.

The male moviegoer takes a rare backseat in the world of that little Twilight movie. In fact, when the first little Twilight movie opened a year ago to box office of $69.6 million during its opening weekend, females made up an astounding 75% of the audience. Well, last night’s midnight shows of New Moon topped all that: The debut set box office history, taking in $26.3 million across 3,514 theaters — in just the midnight showing. Tracking indicates that the second little Twilight movie will deliver grosses this weekend never seen outside of summer. We are talking weekend grosses potentially over $100 million. That’s just the first weekend and just U.S. box office. Wow.

To put an opening weekend of $100M in perspective, let’s compare those potential figures to the box office results for the original Star Wars trilogy (the holy trinity of movie trilogies). Keep in mind that average movie ticket prices back when the first Star Wars film was released in 1977 was $2.23 and grew to a wallet-busting $3.15 by the time the 3rd Star Wars film was released. Star Wars Episode IV (better known as the original Star Wars), released in 1977, actually opened in limited release (only 43 theaters) and made $1.5M its opening weekend (an astounding figure based on the limited opening run). Episode 5 (aka The Empire Strikes Back) earned $4.9M in its opening weekend in 1980. Finally, Episode 6 (aka Return of the Jedi) made $23M in its opening weekend in 1983. So even if we consider that average movie ticket prices have basically quadrupled since 1983, a $100M opening weekend for that second little Twilight movie would not only put it in the same rarified air as the Star War series, but it would even outperform the series opening weekend box office results. Again, wow.

It is the teenage girl who rules the school in this case (including the inner teenage girl among Twilight-obsessed twenty and thirty-something women who fixate over the love triangle that is Edward, Bella and Jacob with an equal passion and fervor). They will compete among themselves to lay claim to who saw the film the most times over opening weekend, they will buy every piece of Twilight merchandise possible, they will read and re-read the books in hot anticipation for the next movie in the series (The third little Twilight movie aka The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is already slated for release on June 30th of next year – start lining up now ladies). Yes these Twi-hards or Twilighters or whatever they are calling themselves have become the Star Wars geeks of this generation and in the process have created a new franchise and single-handedly launched a new Hollywood studio powerhouse.

So, yeah, I won’t be lining up tonight. I don’t think Summit Entertainment Group is losing any sleep. They are too busy steamrolling ahead with their plans for the 3rd little and 4th little Twilight movies. And limbering up their calculator-punching fingers to start tabulating the box office receipts as they begin to roll in this weekend. And thinking up Twilight-based theme park rides and video games and cell phone wall paper and coffee mugs and snuggies and…ok you get the point.

When the October issue came to light, surprisingly, all seemed to be at peace. Jackson graced the cover like so many of Harper’s Bazaar’s past cover girls have: chic, elegant, impeccably styled. Donning an exquisitely draped Donna Karan dress in one photo, with Jackson-eque leather fingerless gloves, and a Ryan Wilde felt hat in another, the shoot and interview played homage to Jackson, her brother, and to the magazine’s ability to glamorize a celebrity frequently found on the few pages of the tabloids for fashion mishaps.

But with Kristin Stewart and Robert Pattinson, stars of teeny bopper favorite Twilight and the wildly anticipated New Moon were announced as next month’s cover stars, all bets seem off. The newsstand cover, Gucci dress or not, looks more like a high school yearbook photo for the “Cutest Couple” superlative than an high fashion shot.

The spread features two redeeming shots: one featuring Stewart and Pattinson on a motorcycle, her in a sequin Alexander Wang dress, him in Dior Homme, and the other featuring the two against a column, Stewart in a belted Versace gown and this season’s token YSL pumps.

But all the McQueen and Prada in the world could not keep Stewart from sporting her usual “uncomfortable in my own skin” appearance and Pattinson’s “most popular guy in high school” aura. You can dress them up in couture, but this alone does not make them Bazaar cover worthy.

SLIDESHOW: Vampires & Zombies!…including this hormone-and-blood-drenched slideshow featuring bloodsucking studs, nubile young vampiresses and strapping zombie sidekicks in all their hot, flesh-decaying undead glory.

OMG OMG Robert Pattinson Is So Hot: Well, he is — as this poll of “The Best Twilight Magazine Cover E-vah” conclusively proves. BTW if you need more Robert Pattinson and Twilight coverage, our pals at Gossip Cop have that beat pretty thoroughly covered.

Harry Potter and the Media Muggles: This was an early Mediaite multi-post (as you can tell by the fact that we have all this content spread across just three pages — what were we thinking?) — but it remains one of my faves. For anyone who loves Harry Potter (as I ferociously do) and delights in the old “separated at birth” game, this is ridiculous fun (Graydon Carter as Lucius Malfoy! Malcolm Gladwell as Professor Trelawney! It still cracks me up). If you missed it the first time it’s definitely worth a look now. The pictures are uncannily good.

Eyeborg: “The Age of the Post-Human is Coming Soon” Rob Spence is our Cyborg Columnist. I’ll say it again: We have a Cyborg Columnist. For Hallowe’en, if he wants to dress up as a CYBORG, he just wears what he wants. Why? BECAUSE HE’S A CYBORG! Read his adventures in cyborg-dom here, at his EYEBORG tag page. Badass. p.s. We could very well also have a Cylon columnist, because according to SyFy president Dave Howe apparently you can’t tell the difference between them and humans. Oh well THAT should help. Thanks a lot, Dave Howe.

To Bloodcopy and Back: Remember the whole Gawker Bloodcopy hoo-ha? Wow that seems like ages ago.

Dr. Horrible: Here at Mediaite we LOVE Dr. Horrible. With our freeze-rays we would stop the world, if we could, so everyone could be in their Michael Jackson and Billy Mays and Slutty Everything costumes forever and ever. But we can’t, so tomorrow when you’re sad it’s all over and feeling vaguely ill from eating so much candy corn, check out our Dr. Horrible tag page to watch clips (or the whole thing here) and swoon over Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion. Also please patronize our “The Hammer Is My Penis” tag. It’s the little things.

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown: Far be it from me to extend the dominance of our REAL BIKER CHICKS post on our “Most Popular” list (it’s the Shamu of Mediaite!), but how could I possibly exclude Chopper Chicks in Zombietown? “They’re bad! They’re beautiful! They’re 8 broads on the rag!” WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE? We should also include She-Devils on Wheels in this round up, too, because they’ll mess you up pretty good.

Glenn Beck’s Powerful Vagina: This is Mediaite’s signature monster: VAGINA GLENNTATA. Honestly, this dress looks like a poster for a horror movie — even without Glenn Beck’s face! But actually, there’s a whole backstory to this, and it actually makes sense if only you read it (don’t worry, it’s all conveniently laid out for you under our “Powerful Vaginas” tag). The upshot is, it IS a scary monster, and as a matter of fact I was going to wear this for Hallowe’en this year until I remembered that the dress was $125. What-ever.

Geraldo vs. Stossel’s “Ultimate Mustache” Battle: Wait, those mustaches aren’t Hallowe’en costumes? Oops, my bad.

The Goth Women of the View, feat. Bill O’Reilly As A Vampire: You can’t make this shizz up. Check out the first few moments of the clip — at first I thought Baba Wawa was Cher…in the “If I Could Turn Back Time” video. Well done, Babs!

The Best of The Shining: What do you do on Hallowe’en when Lester Holt steals your Slutty Susan Boyle costume right out from under you? Do the next best thing: Spend a few hours collecting clips from The Shining and pretending that you’re not at all freaked out. Oh and that helps a lot when you’re alone in the deserted office on Hallowe’en Night. What am I, an idiot? I might as well be the babysitter going to take a shower. Sheesh.

Mediaite Presents: Hallowe’en Costumes Ripped From The Headlines: And now we come full circle, to the Mediaite Suggested Hallowe’en Costumes, which no doubt guided your festive choices, dear reader (we’re betting there will be photos of this eventually). I myself can’t wait to play Hallowe’en Bingo with Balloon Boy costumes (touché on this one).

Mediaite’s Glenn Beck Tag Page: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

That’s it! Have a happy Hallowe’en, everyone! Wait a second, how did that giant Megan Fox picture get in there? Ooops. See below.

But from what we’ve seen so far, we narrowed it down to four: the initial EW cover featuring Edward and Bella, the Kirsten Stewart/Robert Pattinson OK! tabloid fare, Stewart solo on Interview and Pattinson doing GQ alone. For her stellar career year and a sleek cover design, we gave the title to Interview and Stewart, but the poll results had a different take. The winner?

Robert Pattinson on GQ

He captured over 50% of the votes, with Stewart’s Interview coming in second place with 33%, and the other two totaling less than 10% each. A lot of credit goes to the RobPattzNews Twitter feed for getting out the vote. Here’s the breakdown in graph form:

It’s not hard to figure out the motivation behind the vampire zeitgeist — with Barack Obama in office and a times-are-a-changin’ vibe as the aughts draw to a close, bloodsuckers represent the Other in a swiftly changing planet. True Blood‘s vamps are Alan Ball’s thinly-veiled metaphor for gay rights. (A “God Hates Fangs” church sign drives the point in with a stake in the opener.) Twilight‘s Edward Cullen is a hero to abstinent teens (and their moms), making scary-sexy palatable for the Rick Warren set. The soon-to-be-developed Anita Blake series casts vampires as misunderstood outcasts fighting for “Preternatural Rights” – a continuation of Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling novels (IFC will premiere the show this fall.) To sum it up, vamps are outsiders – and America has a lot of outsiders these days.

But with Halloween around the corner and tween’s fake fangs starting to look a little forced, what spooky creature will next inhabit the popular imagination?

I’ve got a theory, summed up in one word: BRAAAAAIIIINNNS!

Zombies have returned to the popular imagination for a while now, with Simon Pegg’s breakout Shaun of the Dead reuniting the brain-eating genre. Next up is Woody Harrelson’ s Zombieland, which has “cult sleeper/teenage boy-fest” written all over it.

But that’s not all: days after the Zombieland premiere, Random House is backing The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks, a graphic novel/zombie primer by Max Brooks (itself a sequel to his original 2003 guide) that will prepare us all from the brain fetishists.

Zombies are also infiltrating YA lit, a sure sign of future teen movie supremacy. There’s Generation Dead: Kiss of Life, about a high school girl named Phoebe dating a zombie version of Edward Cullen, and You Are So Undead to Me about a cheerleader who finds out she’s a beacon for the “living-impaired.” There’s even an early 2009 offering, Zombie Queen of Newbury High, about about a high school prom queen who mind controls her student body into voting for her. And there’s a potential werewolf contender in Bitches, which is hilariously pitched as “Werewolf ‘Sex & The City” and in development by FOX.

Meanwhile, the blockbuster to watch is Quirk Books’ Pride and Prejudice and Zombies it’s already the subject of a multi-studio bidding war. Or will ABC’s lizard-people remake, V, be the supernatural dark horse, putting aliens back in the popular psyche?

I don’t know, but one thing’s for sure: in a recession-addled media culture, the escapism of the fantastic isn’t going away any time soon. Shooting zombies is way more fun than covering the latest foreclosure story.

SLIDESHOW: VAMPIRES & ZOMBIES!: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Megan Fox, Evan Rachel Wood, and more!

Jessica Gold Haralson is a writer and a gamer who writes about various topics, including entertainment, pop culture, and new media. She probably spends more time than is necessary playing World of Warcraft.

But this year it really seems like something has changed.

It’s no longer news that we have moved past geek-chic to something akin to post-geek, but when people who I wouldn’t expect to know a Viper from a Raptor mused aloud about what to expect from the 39th annual Comic-Con International last week, I realized that this year, you are all paying attention.

Last year, an estimated 126,000 people attended Comic-Con’s four day San Diego event, and passes were sold out weeks ahead of time; similar numbers were estimated this year.  Compare that to the approximately 445 die hards that attended related events in 1970.  Somehow something that started as a gathering place for a bunch of like-minded oddball outsiders has become, according to the New York Times, “an event that has acquired major importance on the [entertainment] industry’s calendar; major studios promote their biggest coming projects, and television producers for shows like “Lost” and “24” try to stoke interest in their approaching seasons.”  Last year, Comic-Con was our go-to for content related to such (ex)-obscurities as Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog; this year, Dr. Horrible is not only nominated for an Emmy, but hosting them. It’s no wonder everybody is talking about Comic-Con.

Note the lack of reference to comics.

Here’s a secret: That was built into the DNA from the start.  Comic-Con became the festival of pure geek joy that it is (and one of the, if not the, defining entertainment industry events of the year) because since day one, name notwithstanding, is it has always been pan-geek.  Sci-fi authors and Star Trek personalities have been there since the start.  Luke Skywalker himself even made a movie set there.

But that is also why, with an entertainment industry that is interested in sequels, franchises and the already-proven value of any new investment in an entertainment property, Comic-Con has become the center of both the entertainment-industrial complex as well as the countless fan-universes that each franchise has created. It is no accident that the first modern blockbuster also provided the protoype for the merchandising and cross-promotion models driving franchises like Transformers to blockbuster status despite the barest critical assessment of their quality. Of course it was. It was custom-built for the Con.

Make no mistake ye cool kids, when it comes to how we spend our entertainment dollars, we are all geeks.  Star Trek, Harry Potter, Twilight and the Dark Knight don’t lie; we all want larger-than-life escapism and a little zombie terror here and there.  We want the other, the strange, the fantastic and the far off, and we vote with the dollars we spend on books, DVDs, downloads, movie tickets, toys, collectibles, miniatures and cosplay props (not to mention the clicks we spend on bittorrent trackers and blog posts). The SciFi Channel has even become the kinder, gentler SyFy, in an acknowledgment of how mainstream geek really is. (3.5 million viewers for the debut of their latest, Warehouse 13, is acknolwedgement too; that’s 1.1 million more than the Battlestar finale. Word spreads, eh geeks?)

Like some alien gestating to life in a slimy pod, geek culture ripened over the years in its (our) own obscure cons, from back when the cancellation of the very first Star Trek spawned modern fandom (and fanaticism).  And you know how that alien springs to life and starts spreading its seed all over the place? Right: cue the modern entertainment franchise of comics, books, films, blogs, series, webisodes, collectibles, podcasts and any other format yet to be dreamed up. So, with that in mind: how could the convention at which you most expect to see somebody wearing fangs without the slightest hint of self-consciousness not become ground zero of the entertainment world?

Because, importantly, it’s also establishing itself as a leader within it. Back to Dr. Horrible: An indie labor-of-love project launched on the side during the writer’s strike, launched on the web, became a critical and financial success — entirely outside the traditional models. In its initial limited run, it got over 2 millions streams in five days (and would have had more had demand not crashed the servers); a year later, its Amazon sales rank is #87 for Bestsellers, Movies & TV; with top five rankings across all its sub-categories. Like Comic-Con, Dr. Horrible is pan-geek: comic-book, sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, musical theater (two words for you here: Rocky Horror) — with the heroes, villains, inventors, outsiders, romantics and strivers plus the crucial morality play that underlies the best of each genre. The storylines may be fantastical, but the impulses couldn’t be more visceral.

Which is maybe why it’s all finally catching on. It’s a phrase us geeks know well, from bad zombie movies, from Twilight Zone episodes, from the collective subconscious that geekdom has shared since at least the first Comic-Con in 1970, and that should resonate with anyone that has consumed the smallest morsel of popular media in the past half decade or so: “One of us, one of us, one of us…”

Related:

Comic-Con 2009: The Hero Complex collection [LA Times]
The Winners & Losers of Comic-Con 2009 [Seattle PI]
Who Won Comic-Con’s Buzz Wars? Our 10 Picks [i09]

Ash Kalb is the general counsel of a New York-based telecommunications and technology company and an instrument-rated pilot.  He will be writing a weekly column on geek culture for Mediaite. He wishes he went to Comic-Con.