Pamela Anderson Helps Defeat Whale Penis SUV

Thanks to actress Pamela Anderson, among others, overcompensating jillionaires the world over will now be denied the Holy Grail of douchy excess: a giant, armored SUV with an interior crafted in genuine whale penis leather. Russian automaker Dartz has bowed to pressure from Anderson, and other environmentalists, and has pulled the feature from its Pombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition SUV.

Not to worry, though. The pricey ride still comes with plenty of pointless luxury.