Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough paid a visit to The View Thursday morning. After introducing him, host Barbara Walters pointed out that his “better half” and “best friend,” co-host Mika Brzezinski, was seated in the audience.
Walters kicked things off by pointing out that Scarborough, a Republican, wasn’t too enthused about the party’s presumptive nominee, Mitt Romney. “I’m not excited,” he agreed. “I’m just not excited about Mitt Romney.”

Yesterday, the ladies of The View got the extreme pleasure of interviewing a sitting president, Mr. Barack Obama. Today, they were still pretty excited about it with Elisabeth Hasselbeck describing what a huge opportunity it was and Sherri Shepherd discussing how wonderful it was introducing the leader of the free world to her son. However, there was something raining on their post-POTUS buzz and that was all the conservative stick in the muds grumbling that their show isn’t fair and balanced. The hosts disputed that fact, saying that there was a standing invitation for that other guy running for President.

President Obama made his second appearance on The View today, a fairly unorthodox forum in which a sitting president can be challenged, and unorthodox challenges he met: questions about how he really felt about Vice President Joe Biden, how he could improve the economy more than Mitt Romney, and which Kardashian is the one with the recent divorce. Indicative of the atmosphere? An exchange in the second segment where Barbara Walters noted, “this is the first time we have all sat down and spoken without crosstalk,” to which the President remarked it made him a bit ill at ease: “you’re all so well-behaved!”

The View panel had E.L. James, author of the steamy trilogy of novels that begins with Fifty Shades Of Grey, on the show Friday morning to talk about what “inspired” her series. She was introduced by clear fangirl Sherri Shepherd, who asked her “what is it about this book that is making people so crazy?”

Howard Stern was on The View for the first time ever today, ostensibly to promote his new role as a judge on America’s Got Talen. Rather than plug his new show, however, he seemed more interesting in fixing up the co-hosts, even the ones who are already married. He had the brilliant idea to set Barbara Walters up with Charlie Rose, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck up with himself, but what he was most interested in was finding a man for Whoopi Goldberg.

The View panel got a bit heated while discussing the case of a 58-year-old woman who was fired from her job after her employer discovered that she had been arrested for shoplifting and failed to disclose the arrest on her job application. The fly in the ointment is that the arrest occurred forty years ago, when she was a teenager. Should an old record matter so much?

It’s the story that wouldn’t die — the so-called “Tanning Mom” from New Jersey has hit back at critics of her sunless tanning habit, calling her detractors “fat, ugly and jealous.” Even though she seems like a great person, Elisabeth Hasselbeck felt compelled to defend her. When Whoopi Goldberg argued that the continuing interest in her stems from concerns about skin cancer, Hasselbeck retorted “People aren’t concerned about her, they’re worried about her parenting!”

The View co-hosts got a little heated this morning over a new ad made by the Romney campaign accusing President Obama, of all things, of being “too cool.” They played the ad, which which leans heavily on the exploding problem of student loan debt, in all of its auto-tuned glory for the studio audience. Elisabeth Hasselbeck thought that the while “point of [the ad] is there, the delivery is off,” and she and Whoopi Goldberg agreed that the music could have been better.That was about the only thing that they agreed on!

Well, it wasn’t exactly a happy ending. The panel was talking about a scientist who claims to have pinpointed the erogenous zone in women known as the “G-spot,” which allowed the co-hosts to indulge in one of their favorite pastimes: being inappropriate. Whoopi Goldberg was affronted that there could only be one spot (why couldn’t she have spots lettered A through H, she demanded?), while Barbara Walters was skeptical that the guy had found it at all, and Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck looked generally horrified by all of the sex talk.

The decades-old missing persons case of Etan Patz, who went missing in SoHo in 1979, has been reopened after authorities discovered hair and a possible blood stain in a basement near the location where Patz is thought to have disappeared. His case was the genesis for the program that put photos of missing children on milk cartons, but Whoopi Goldberg wondered if we should go further and start microchipping our children — after all, we do it to our pets!

Oh, brother. The View kicked off their hot topics segment this morning with a recap of the Secret Service scandal that is obviously gripping the nation, given that it involves Colombian hookers and the agents assigned to protect the President of the United States. Everyone was pretty grossed out about it, from the safety concerns (“It’s dangerous…these hookers could slip them a mickey” Joy Behar said, then looked put out as the audience giggled) to the revelation that the incident was uncovered when an agent refused to pay a prostitute her $43 asking price.

This particular story had “fighting on The View” written all over it — DNC official Hillary Rosen slammed Ann Romney on CNN, saying Romney “actually never worked a day in her life.” Romney defended herself on Twitter, writing “I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work,” and Elisabeth Hasselbeck was immediately furious.

The panel was discussing Rick Santorum’s recent announcement that he would be suspending his campaign indefinitely (in light of a family medical emergency and probably at least in part the fact that Mitt Romney is definitely going to be the nominee), which he did without endorsing Romney. None of the cohosts seemed all that perturbed that he hadn’t — Sherri Shepherd suggested that maybe he needed some time to mourn his own shot at the presidency, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck thought that his priority was with his family and he might make an endorsement later on. The whole discussion was very charitable toward Santorum.

This morning, the panel was discussing CNN’s recent decision to have reporters say the full “N-word” when quoting other people. Whoopi Goldberg introduced the topic, agreeing with the logic that calling it “the N-word” sanitizes the original meaning. Though Barbara Walters agreed with Whoopi that “if you are quoting someone else, shouldn’t you be able to use the word?” she refused to actually say it herself, and admitted she would be reluctant to say it if she was put in that position.

The co-hosts jumped immediately into a discussion of Bristol Palin’s decision to move in with her boyfriend, a development which Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar seemed to view as Palin reneging on her vow of born-again virginity. Elisabeth Hasselbeck was of the mind that it was definitely possible for two young people in their twenties who are dating to live together and stay celibate — in face, she referred to “born again virginity” as her “method of birth control now.” Whaaaaat.

Oh, there was lots of evocative imagery on The View today! The cohosts were discussing a recent wave of conservative endorsements for Mitt Romney, from George Pataki to former candidate Jon Huntsman. The common thread in these endorsements was that nobody seemed all that excited about making them, which Elisabeth Hasselbeck ascribed to Sore Loser Syndrome (“Once a competitor, always a competitor”).

It was ostensibly an opportunity to interview Annie Potts about her new ABC show, GCB, which stands for “Good Christian Bitches” because that’s the world we live in now.

Well, The View panel took the opportunity to get real personal this morning while discussing an interview with 7-months-pregnant Jessica Simpson, who was very candid about revealing that being with child has improved her sex life.

On the show this morning, Whoopi Goldberg brought up a recent decision by the Transportation Security Administration to give traveling seniors over 75 a break when going through security, allowing them to leave their shoes on and be subjected to fewer pat downs in line.

Barbara Walters took a brief detour from pop psychology studies and “Dance Moms” footage to run down the list of Super Tuesday primary winners for the panel, noting Mitt Romney’s ever-expanding lead (although he is still several hundred delegates short of securing the nomination).

Whoopi Goldberg is out of town, and so the unfortunate soul selected to sit in “The Whoopi Cushion” for today’s show was R&B star Mary J. Blige. The panel asked her about her recent experience attending Whitney Houston’s memorial service, which she went to despite her normal policy of never going to funerals

I’ve been watching The View for many years (since the Meredith Vieira/Lisa Ling/gauzy opening credits sequence days!), but I feel like today my obsession with the show has been validated, since a segment from last week basically saved someone’s life.

This morning, The View panel discussed a recent Radar Online post claiming that toxicologists have discovered a combination of several prescription sedatives in Whitney Houston’s bloodstream at the time of her death, namely Xanax, lorazepam, and valium. This was a preliminary autopsy report, so the record has not been set officially straight, but the panel took the opportunity to question why people find the cause of Houston’s death so fascinating.

So. There was a “White House Blues” event last night, at which President Obama joined B.B. King and Mick Jagger in singing a few bars of “Sweet Home Chicago.” This continues the recent streak of Obama appearances that have afforded the president to opportunity get his karaoke on. Naturally, some people on The View were wondering — is all of this singing inappropriate?

“Dance Moms,” for the uninitiated, is Lifetime’s hit show about a terrifying dance instructor named Abby Lee Miller and a small group of competitive dancers in her studio, at whom she screams in order to prepare them for victory, and whose head shots she arranges in a pyramid every week ranking them from best to [...]