Country musician Miranda Lambert has been taking Chris Brown to task for a little while, and held up a sign at a recent concert (during which she was singing a song about a woman killing her abusive partner) that read “Take Notes, Chris Brown.” This led to a discussion of today’s episode of The View about the public’s perception of Brown, especially in light of his recent return to the Grammy Awards that coincided with his brutal beating of Rihanna two years ago. Sherri Shepherd argued that it is time to give Brown a clean slate.

Oh, how I have missed watching The View every morning! On this day in history, the panel covered the most touching moments of Whitney Houston’s funeral in Newark, New Jersey on Saturday, which included performances from the likes of Stevie Wonder and a moving speech by Kevin Costner.

Rick Santorum has not exactly been saying the right things with the ladies recently.* He’s taken heat for a number of comments he made recently. Speaking about women in the military, he said that women shouldn’t be moved to the front because their male counterparts would just be overcome with “emotion” in trying to protect them, and, speaking about women impregnated during rape, he said that they should just “make the best of a bad situation.”

On The View Wednesday, a politically volatile discussion arose over a Texas judge’s decision to uphold an anti-abortion mandate that requires women to see the ultrasound of their fetus before they can terminate their pregnancies. Elisabeth Hasselbeck spoke passionately in favor of the requirement. “To me, it doesn’t make sense why you wouldn’t!” Hasselbeck exclaimed. “Why you would ask for an X-ray for those things or an ultrasound but not in this case? ” “It is such a tremendous decision,” Walters fired back. “I think that in order to even think about having an abortion, to give up a child that is obviously unwanted, that’s why you’re doing it…with so much fear of what you’re doing and guilt…then to have to go and be forced to hear, to see the fetus, to hear the heartbeat, to put more guilt on you, I think is heartbreaking.”

Recently on The View, during a conversation on North Korea’s transition of power, Whoopi Goldberg made comments stating that Communism makes sense “on paper” but doesn’t work once humans put it in practice. Clearly this means that she is a Communist. At least, that seemed to be the message of a segment on The Five where they accused Goldberg of not being condemn-y enough or something.

Last Friday, the entire blogosphere went crazy because it was possible that Whoopi Goldberg farted on live TV (what can I say, bloggers just want to go home for the holidays too). Today during the opening few minutes of The View, Goldberg discussed the incident during some of the most ridiculously funny television you’re going to see all week. Seriously, I want every day to start with someone doing a Zapruder film analysis of a fart joke.

Guys, I can’t even. Whoopi Goldberg, the breezy View co-host, added a veritable whirlwind of excitement to the show’s set today when she… Well, when she farted. Yes, there. Typed it. Whoopi Goldberg farted.

Recently for Good Morning America, contributor Elizabeth Hasselbeck reported a story on a growing trend of stay at home mothers supplementing their family’s income by becoming phone sex operators. Today on The View, Hasselbeck and her co-hosts discussed and Whoopi Goldberg revealed that she herself had spent some time on the other end of the phone.

Whoopi Goldberg explicitly dished repeatedly on female “pudenda” in a graphic discussion on porn with the panelists of The View as audience members laughed nervously. “I like porn, I think porn is good for — yes, I do. I think it’s good,” Goldberg acknowledged. “I will tell you what bothers the hell out of me, because this is something that I should have watched over the years. When you see where porn stars are– the women, what their pudendas look like, you can track what other women are going to be doing… there used to be a time when a woman’s pudenda — they looked like women. Then suddenly it became like a landing strip, and then it became bald, and I’m saying what’s wrong with that is they made it what a young girl’s pudenda looks like…it’s bad because I understand you want to do some grooming, but to make yourself look like you did when you were 12 or 13 sends a message to people that you want a kid’s body.”

With the pressure hitting the Herman Cain campaign increasing as his sexual harassment accusations give way to new philandering claims, the debate over whether his personal failings should matter in politics was the topic du jour at The View. Somewhat surprisingly, it was Whoopi Goldberg who seemed to care the least about his personal life, noting that “as long as you are not boning the country,” she didn’t mind the action on the side. And with that, Goldberg got bleeped, and finally has something in common with Ann Coulter.

Despite her time as the GOP frontrunner seeming to fall farther and farther into the past, Michele Bachmann garnered a lot of headlines this past week. And all it took was for someone to call her a nasty B-word on television. That’s right, Whoopi Goldberg called her a “bonehead” on The View.

Wait, what? That’s not the B-word everyone was talking about? Oh, right.

Still, Goldberg was fairly forceful in her conviction that Bachmann did not have what it takes to run the country.

On The View Monday, the panelists discussed Gloria Cain‘s impassioned defense of her husband over his multiple alleged cases of sexual harassment and her statement that “he totally respects women.” “Can I just point out how much Herman Cain looks like his wife?” Goldberg quipped to uproarious laughter from the audience. “That’s all I could say, I thought she looked just like him! That’s why the kids all look just like them!”

Whoopi Goldberg went after Ann Coulter and her provocative statement that “our blacks are better than their blacks” on The View Thursday. “I didn’t know we were anybody’s blacks!” Goldberg exclaimed. “My God, I thought I was free but damn it! I found out again, somebody’s got my behind!”

Today on The View! Which co-host reveals that she travels with her vibrator in her MAKEUP bag, so as to not draw unwanted attention from the TSA attendant? Which co-host reveals that she eschews the use of a vibrator, opting instead for “this man with equipment.” Finally, which morning talk show loves to share personal sex habits on live television, creating video segments for websites to aggregate in hopes that they will drive traffic?

Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has been taking heavy criticism over a joking reference to Democratic opponent Elizabeth Warren‘s physical appearance, including from House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. The cast of ABC’s The View weighed in on the controversy today, and took Brown’s side. The discussion included a loose grasp of the facts, and an interpretation of Brown’s comment, from Whoopi Goldberg, that even the most imaginative press flack couldn’t have thought up.

Sparks flew on the set of The View on Monday, as the topic of Herman Cain‘s uncensored use of the name “N*ggerhead” in denouncing Texas Gov. Rick Perry inspired one reaction when Whoopi Goldberg quoted him, and quite another when Barbara Walters did. Goldberg seemed to applaud Cain’s choice, and argue against the euphemistic use of “the n-word,” but when Walters quoted Cain (again, uncensored), co-host Sherri Shepherd told Walters, “”I didn’t like the way you said it.”

The View discussed New Jersey Governor Chris Christie‘s potential run for the White House and the touchy subject of Christie’s weight took center stage. Whoopi Goldberg asked the audience if they could see him as president. The crowd unanimously responded no. When asked why, the Governor’s “heftiness” was cited as a chief reason.

Fox News’ Eric Bolling recently raised many eyebrows with his comments about President Obama and the people who he chose to invite to the White House in the past. Despite Bolling apologizing and engaging with Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher in a lengthy Twitter discussion on his comments, The View’s Whoopi Goldberg took exception to his entire tone.

When the liberal Joy Behar and the conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck are in complete agreement against you, then you know you’re really in trouble. Congressman Anthony Weiner’s ongoing ordeal has united the The View co-hosts, and when you throw in the fact that Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd agree with them too, according to these ladies it’s unanimous: Weiner must resign, and as soon as possible.

Dr. Oz was a guest on yesterday’s episode of The View , and naturally, started talking about farting. “How many of you have passed gas already since you’ve been out here?” the daytime talk show asked the ladies of The View which elicited expected giggles and guffaws from the cohosts and audience alike. But it was Whoopi Goldberg who took things to the next level when she owned up to it. Daytime talk show hijinks focosed on farting? Who knew they were targeting the nine year-old boy demo?

Whoa. In just this five minute clip of The View, there were enough soundbites for about 10 posts. Yes, folks, this is why the media is so in love with the Birther issue. As Whoopi Goldberg, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Joy Behar, and Sherri Shepherd all railed against the topic, they took Donald Trump and the Birthers to task for a number of things, accusing him of alternately of racism, insulting the President, and hurting the country’s reputation.

Who likes paying more for gas? Not Whoopi Goldberg, that’s for sure. On Monday’s The View, Goldberg said she’s bracing for this week’s profit reports from the oil companies (expected to be in the billions) while steaming about the daily bumps in per gallon costs at the pump. “It’s pissing me off,” she said.

ABC News correspondent Jim Avila, who joined the panel for the show’s “hot topics” segment to explain the skyrocket costs of filling up a family gas tank, may have made matters worse (at least in terms of Goldberg’s irritation with the oil companies) when he told Goldberg not to expect prices to drop anytime soon–it’s the summer driving season, after all–and the country is “one problem away, one hurricane in the Gulf” from reaching six dollars a gallon for gas. Goldberg’s reaction: “What the hell, man!”

A coalition of peculiar media forces apparently led by Donald Trump appear to be working to make President Barack Obama‘s birth certificate a major 2012 campaign issue, and all signs point to Sean Hannity hopping on the bandwagon. After dedicating a significant amount of time on his radio show earlier this week to the matter, he brought it up once again on TV in the context of Trump’s potential 2012 bid, calling the entire ordeal ‘odd.’

Today on Good Morning America, John Foreman warned that he might not be able to control himself if he were to ever come in contact with Michael Woodmansee. Woodmansee is the man who, 36 years ago, brutally murdered Foreman’s five-year-old son Jason. He was arrested years later while trying to attack another child and, once police connected him to the earlier crime, he was charged with 40 years in prison but is now being released 12 years early. Mediaite founder and ABC legal analyst Dan Abrams joined the hosts of The View to examine the legal implications of Woodmanee’s parole and the tortured father’s threat.

Alex Jones, a controversial radio host and friend of Charlie Sheen, appeared on The View today to discuss Sheen’s strange behavior, however, Jones managed to squeeze in some very off-topic conspiracy theories that left co-hosts Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Whoopi Goldberg struggling to maintain control. It’s not surprising that Jones does not have many fans on the right or the left, being a prominent 9/11 Truther and a peddler of other conspiracies, thus many wondered why he was invited to appear at all?