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Confused About The Sex Charges Against Julian Assange? Let Beck And His Blackboard Explain

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» 43 comments

BeckLet’s get one thing straight: Glenn Beck doesn’t support Julian Assange. But the same time, Beck is also skeptical about and confused by the sex crime charges that led to Assange’s recent arrest. And if Glenn Beck is puzzled, he knows you must be too. That’s why he trotted out his trusty blackboard during today’s show and used it to carefully explain exactly why Assange was taken into custody. Gather ’round, children!

The story, according to Beck, goes a little something like this: Assange’s first accuser, Woman #1, met Assange at a seminar hosted by the Swedish Brotherhood Movement, a “far-left group” with “anti-Semitic ties.” Beck calls her a well-known radical feminist with a penchant for revenge. She invited Assange to stay at her house, where the two had mutually consensual sex, until the condom broke. The next night, an “attractive, young, adoring female fan” sat in the front row of Assange’s seminar and caught his eye. Woman #1 introduced Woman #2 to Assange, a moment Beck reenacts using a truly marvelous falsetto.

Assange—”a player,” says Beck—saw a movie with #2, then left her to attend a party thrown in his honor by #1. (“Remember, Woman #1 had supposedly been raped the night before, but here she is organizing a party in his honor,” Beck notes. This “doesn’t exactly fit the profile of someone who’s been sexually assaulted,” according to him; we didn’t know Beck was an expert in interpreting the psyches of assault victims.) A day or two later, Assange and Woman #2 had consensual sex, once with a condom and once without; it’s the second incident that #2 is construing as “sex by surprise.”

Clearly, a story with this many details could only be properly explained by someone using props and funny voices. Watch Beck’s segment from Fox News below.

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  • ProgLib

    I pretty much agreed with him until he started scaring me in to believing that these are the end times.

  • LeviCoult

    I never thought I would say this and mean it but…. I’m with Glenn Beck on this one. I feel dirty.

  • michiganruth

    erm…

    “She invited Beck to stay at her house, where the two had mutually consensual sex, until the condom broke.”

    I’m pretty sure you mean “Assange,” not Beck, right? please confirm: my eyes are starting to burn.

  • http://www.libertarianism.com/ Jack Burns

    She invited Beck to stay at her house, where the two had mutually consensual sex, until the condom broke… Really??? Beck you Rascal!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    What is so scary about Assange? He isn’t on the right or left, he’s just releasing the truth.

    Why are people trying to vilify him?

    The truth is now bad? Think about it.

    Who gets to decide what is too important to leak and what isn’t.. and why?? If we ask for a transparent government, why are we denied when we are the ones that fund our government.

    And now we have media outlets trying to get us to hate assange? I’m sorry. I believe that guy, he hasn’t lied yet… and I think these rape charges are bull****

  • Hillary Busis

    michiganruth said:
    erm…

    “She invited Beck to stay at her house, where the two had mutually consensual sex, until the condom broke.”

    I’m pretty sure you mean “Assange,” not Beck, right? please confirm: my eyes are starting to burn.

    Yikes, that was a pretty egregious typo—it’s fixed now! (Though wouldn’t that have added an interesting new dimension to the story?)

  • timzank

    I think the rape charges are trumped up too, but they won’t matter. Somewhere in those 250,000 pages is something embarrassing enough about someone, that Julian will be on the receiving end of a blowdart. Fame is great but trying to hold the World up for ransom is gonna get him killed, which is fine with me.

  • Nacho

    Becks socialist democrat uber leftest spin on this situation is pretty hilarious.

    He is totally correct in that these allegations are trumped up for political reasons but him spinning it support him and his own “cause” is fucking rich. Are the people that watch his program really this stupid?

  • Pablo

    Jon Martin said:
    The truth is now bad? Think about it.

    Jon, do you believe that all communications between our diplomats in the field and our embassies and Washington should be freely available to the public?

  • Pablo

    timzank said:
    I think the rape charges are trumped up too, but they won’t matter.

    The more I hear of the story, the more I think that Occam’s Razor dictates that if you’re jumping bed to bed between two women and they find out about it, they will join forces to cook your goose. Of course, that can take many different shapes.

    But Interpol? Really?

  • Elaine B

    I think I would rather listen to Pat Buchanan then Beck….. and Pat makes my stomach want to hurl…… Poor Beck, he is as much as a opportunist as Palin but he actually has a job. That amazing is truly amazing in it self.

    Julian is still my hero, the charges sound to fishy to me. All of a sudden these women are coming out and saying this about him, after the resent exposure? hmmm..

  • The Real Royal King

    What’s all this I hear about Beckerhead and Assange having a SEX CHANGES? I’d be careful, beckerhead. Remember that butt infection you got duirng your last surgery.

  • Pablo

    Elaine B said:
    All of a sudden these women are coming out and saying this about him, after the resent exposure? hmmm..

    All of a sudden they came out and said all of this in August, when the charges were first filed.

  • Elaine B

    michiganruth said:
    erm…

    “She invited Beck to stay at her house, where the two had mutually consensual sex, until the condom broke.”

    I’m pretty sure you mean “Assange,” not Beck, right? please confirm: my eyes are starting to burn.

    LOL, good one, my sides are hurting from laughing!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    Pablo said:
    Jon, do you believe that all communications between our diplomats in the field and our embassies and Washington should be freely available to the public?

    Thats not the question. The government let these things slip, Assange didn’t pay for them, he was given them. He’s not an American citizen and can pretty much do what he wants.

    You don’t get to be world policeman all the time. The US has freedom of speech in the first place, so Assange can’t be charged here either.

    If some tea bag guy happened to find the most historical leak ever, then leaked it, and it showed that obama did something really bad…. would you want the one who leaked it tried for treason? Or would you call them a patriot. You can’t have it for one side and not the other.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    People need to realize that everyone in congress has something to gain from Assange being shut up. Of course they will say anything they can about him, they want him silenced.. and why would they want him silenced if their motives were honorable.

    Not a single person has died from the information released by wikileaks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    Here’s a recent leak:

    WikiLeaks: Texas Company Helped Pimp Little Boys To Stoned Afghan Cops
    http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2010/12/wikileaks_texas_company_helped.php

    Would you rather not know your tax dollars are going to companies that allow Pashtun Afghani cops to dress up boys from 8-15 year old as women, make them dance, then sell them to the highest bidder as a sex slave?

    Well you’re paying for that.. and if it wasn’t for Assange this cable would never have seen the light of day.

  • Pablo

    Jon Martin said:
    Thats not the question. The government let these things slip, Assange didn’t pay for them, he was given them. He’s not an American citizen and can pretty much do what he wants.

    Jon, it is the question. You’re arguing that what Assange is doing is just fine, and what he’s doing is exposing huge amounts of confidential diplomatic communications. Do you believe that those types of communications should be freely available to the public? This is not complicated, and I would appreciate an answer.

    You don’t get to be world policeman all the time. The US has freedom of speech in the first place, so Assange can’t be charged here either.

    You want to take that up with Eric Holder and Barack Obama, because they sure seem to want to prosecute him. It seems to have something to do with him transferring our classified documents.

    If some tea bag guy happened to find the most historical leak ever, then leaked it, and it showed that obama did something really bad…. would you want the one who leaked it tried for treason? Or would you call them a patriot. You can’t have it for one side and not the other.

    I do not approve of people releasing classified information no matter who it is. The only exemption to that would be a case in which very clear illegality is exposed, and again, I don’t care who the target is. That is the valid role of a whistleblower, and that action would be courageous, patriotic and protected by whistleblower laws. As far as that goes, Wikileaks is a great big nothingburger so far.

  • Pablo

    Jon Martin said:
    People need to realize that everyone in congress has something to gain from Assange being shut up. Of course they will say anything they can about him, they want him silenced.. and why would they want him silenced if their motives were honorable.

    Not a single person has died from the information released by wikileaks.

    Really?

    When I try to question him about the morality of what he’s done, if he worries about unleashing something that he can’t control, that no one can control, he tells me the story of the Kenyan 2007 elections when a WikiLeak document “swung the election”.

    The leak exposed massive corruption by Daniel Arap Moi, and the Kenyan people sat up and took notice. In the ensuing elections, in which corruption became a major issue, violence swept the country. “1,300 people were eventually killed, and 350,000 were displaced. That was a result of our leak,” says Assange.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    Pablo said:
    Jon, it is the question. You’re arguing that what Assange is doing is just fine, and what he’s doing is exposing huge amounts of confidential diplomatic communications. Do you believe that those types of communications should be freely available to the public? This is not complicated, and I would appreciate an answer.

    Yeah I think so, for sure!

    If it’s so top-secret that someone can leak it, then the government is inept and our enemies could easily get that information. So if that’s the case, lets point out the hole’s in US security.

    That’s what hacking is all about too and this entire discussion is about hacking, knowing things you shouldn’t know and pointing out weaknesses in secuirty.

    THe punishment for the US is that because it’s security is bad, the truth gets out. So next time the US should do better.

    Or I guess we could just let the US stay inept at keeping secrets, so another country can come and really screw us over.

    It’s win/win for everyone and as a citizen arguing against assange is the stupidest thing you can do. Pathetic.

  • Pablo

    Jon Martin said:
    Would you rather not know your tax dollars are going to companies that allow Pashtun Afghani cops to dress up boys from 8-15 year old as women, make them dance, then sell them to the highest bidder as a sex slave?

    Wait, so my tax dollars are going to a company that ALLOWED Afghans to do what they’ve been doing for hundreds if not thousands of years? And higher ups across the board all flipped out and cracked down on both the company and the Afghani cops? And this story was already on Frontline?

    How can we possibly thank Julian Assange and Bradley Manning for bringing us this information that was largely already public? Here’s the cable Wikileaks released.

  • Pablo

    Jon Martin said:
    Yeah I think so, for sure!

    If it’s so top-secret that someone can leak it, then the government is inept and our enemies could easily get that information. So if that’s the case, lets point out the hole’s in US security.

    Do you want to point out the hole in security? Because you’re saying you want to do away with it as far as our diplomats are concerned.

    I agree that this hole in security is pathetic, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need information security at all, does it?

  • http://TheDividedStatesBlog.com Publius219

    timzank said:
    I think the rape charges are trumped up too, but they won’t matter. Somewhere in those 250,000 pages is something embarrassing enough about someone, that Julian will be on the receiving end of a blowdart. Fame is great but trying to hold the World up for ransom is gonna get him killed, which is fine with me.

    Yes. It’s important that people remain subservient to governments/governmental institutions. Anything else could only lead to social unrest. The proles can not handle themselves. The Ministry of Truth will always show the way.

  • Mr.Papshmer

    timzank said:
    I think the rape charges are trumped up too, but they won’t matter. Somewhere in those 250,000 pages is something embarrassing enough about someone, that Julian will be on the receiving end of a blowdart. Fame is great but trying to hold the World up for ransom is gonna get him killed, which is fine with me.

    Absolutely correct. If I had to guess, I’d say that Assange began his enterprise with no clue as to the amount of stuff he soon be sitting on, nor the extent to which that stuff is embarrassing to some. He’s now caught up in something he never intended, and will be lucky to live another year.

  • Pablo

    Mr.Papshmer said:
    He’s now caught up in something he never intended, and will be lucky to live another year.

    Yeah, he claims to have a ton of stuff on the Russians he’s processing. They will kill his ass dead without a second thought. And as far as that case goes, Assange was nice enough to release details of the investigation to the public. Isn’t he awesome? Police work always goes so much better when the perps know what you know about the case.

  • SmartAlec

    I’m still confused. I’m gonna’ wait until BlennGeckReview weighs in and explains how Beck is a liar, hypocrite, and charlatan…and provide me a link to his award-winning website.

  • http://none pyrope

    Elaine B said:
    I think I would rather listen to Pat Buchanan then Beck

    That’s interesting. I would prefer to listen to Beck and then Buchanan, but your preferences are your own.

  • Socialist

    I really loved this video.. lol.. even though i don’t like watching Beck, this was really done good.

    Bottomline is that our government is lying to us, no matter what it is doing pretty much – In wars, In “economic recoveries”… and all the other stuff..

  • errxn

    So, let me get this straight…Olbermann can commit just about the worst infraction of Godwin’s law in history and pretty much get a pass, but Beck is the one who is the recipient of all the smarm for, OH MY GOD, using a chalkboard? Memo to Mediaite: your bias is showing.

  • justanotherconservative

    Nacho said:
    Becks socialist democrat uber leftest spin on this situation is pretty hilarious. He is totally correct in that these allegations are trumped up for political reasons but him spinning it support him and his own “cause” is fucking rich. Are the people that watch his program really this stupid?

    are YOU really this stupid?

  • justanotherconservative

    Socialist said:
    I really loved this video.. lol.. even though i don’t like watching Beck, this was really done good. Bottomline is that our government is lying to us, no matter what it is doing pretty much – In wars, In “economic recoveries”… and all the other stuff..

    oh you really are a rocket scientist… go back to english class and learn how to spell and write a sentence.

  • justanotherconservative

    Jon Martin said:
    Here’s a recent leak: WikiLeaks: Texas Company Helped Pimp Little Boys To Stoned Afghan Copshttp://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2010/12/wikileaks_texas_company_helped.php Would you rather not know your tax dollars are going to companies that allow Pashtun Afghani cops to dress up boys from 8-15 year old as women, make them dance, then sell them to the highest bidder as a sex slave? Well you’re paying for that.. and if it wasn’t for Assange this cable would never have seen the light of day.

    oh yeah like this is all so credible. get a clue.

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    Nacho says:
    “Are the people that watch his program really this stupid?”

    I won’t give you my subjective answer, but I can tell you how to get it for yourself. Go to Glenn Beck.com and subscribe to his newsletter. When you get it, click on the “transcript” links to his website and read the comments that his sheeple make. They are not much different than what you can read on TheBlaze, his fake news site.

    You have to believe that people who believe anything this liar claims have to be pretty ignorant and gullible. That does not make them inherently stupid, but a certain amount of gullibility and close-mindedness does come across as worse than just being ill-informed.

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    It’s important to understand that Beck is just about never to be taken seriously, no matter how seriously he seems to take himself, no matter how seriously his gullible sheeple (followers) take him. He has thrust himself up on a stage and he’s putting on a performance. He’s a performance artist attempting to put on the greatest show on Earth.

    My wife watched a Hallmark Christmas special that was on last Sunday. Afterwards sh was in tears. (Happy holidays!) I could not understand how she would let a movie affect her that much, but it gives you an idea of how people can be taken in by his performances. Beck is an entertainment genius, but that’s all. He’s no more relevant than Well’s War of the Worlds radio show which scared some people with its believability.

    I wasn’t around for Orson Wells, but it seems like he’s exceeded his wildest dreams in emulating his role model. Now, this clown finds himself in over his head; and he’s awash in inconsistencies, contradictions, hypocrisies and assertions that border on if not cross over into treason and (inciting) sedition. He is, in this great show that he has become (Glenn Beck, Inc.) in way over his head, and apparently he is surrounded by yes men unwilling to point out his absurd claims, contradictions and false, often ridiculous assertions.

    The people here who attack me at like the fools listening to Wells’ performance that were terrified so many years ago. Gullible sheep caught up in what may be the greatest non-musical show on Earth, Glenn Beck, Inc. It really is, as Alex Zaitchik argues, “the triumph of ignorance.”

    http://www.sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/2010/07/glenn-becks-common-nonsense-interview.html

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    errxn says:
    “Olbermann can commit just about the worst infraction of Godwin’s law in history ”

    I take it that you don’t watch Glenn Beck. Beck has something even more absurd than Godwin’s law working for him, although that too:
    http://www.sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/2010/11/glenn-beck-meet-godwins-law.html

    Beck has Nazi Tourette’s syndrome!
    http://www.sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/2010/07/still-doubt-that-beck-is-hypocrite.html

    When it comes to Godwin’s law, Olbermann doesn’t hold a candle to Glenn Beck.

  • Nachi

    Holding a squirt-gun to my head last night, I forced myself to watch that intellectual insect. That is one very, very sick low-brow. Suffering from a deep, deep recto-cranial inversion. Worshiped by similar lifeforms. Ugh.

  • Tucker P.

    School teacher gets 35 or 40 thousand maybe . Beck gets millions . And they do the same thing . God Bless America ..

  • Nahu Tuk

    Tucker P. said:
    School teacher gets 35 or 40 thousand maybe . Beck gets millions . And they do the same thing . God Bless America ..

    Yeah, but school teachers don’t do nearly as good a job as Mr. Beck, and thanks to the unions, they can’t be fired.

    Ask yourself this: Why is the US lagging so far behind every country in the world in academic achievement.?

    bona fides: http://www.all4ed.org/files/IntlComp_FactSheet.pdf

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    Nahu Tuk says:
    “Yeah, but school teachers don’t do nearly as good a job as Mr. Beck,”

    Man, are you ever a gullible (and ignorant) tool. Beck is misinforming his viewers, over and over!

    According to Wilentz, Beck’s “version of history” places him in a long line of figures who have challenged mainstream political historians and presented an inaccurate opposing view as the truth, stating:

    “Glenn Beck is trying to give viewers a version of American history that is supposedly hidden. Supposedly, all we historians — left, right and center — have been doing for the past 100 years is to keep true American history from you. And that true American history is what Glenn Beck is teaching. It’s a version of history that is beyond skewed. But of course, that’s what Beck expects us to say. He lives in a kind of Alice in Wonderland world, where if people who actually know the history say what he’s teaching is junk, he says, ‘That’s because you’re trying to hide the truth.’ “

  • hadenoughmoonbattery

    GlennBeckReview on Glenn Beck says:
    “he’s awash in inconsistencies, contradictions, hypocrisies and assertions that border on if not cross over into treason and (inciting) sedition”

    As per normal the average Beck criticism; not one specific alleged inconsistency, contradiction, hypocrisies or assertion referenced or pointed out. If Beck is so “awash” in these character faults as you claim, surely you could come up with just one? I credit you for being able to put so many big words together in a sentence however.

  • http://none pyrope

    hadenoughmoonbattery said:
    As per normal the average Beck criticism; not one specific alleged inconsistency, contradiction, hypocrisies or assertion referenced or pointed out. If Beck is so “awash” in these character faults as you claim, surely you could come up with just one? I credit you for being able to put so many big words together in a sentence however.

    Yeah, I guess GBR has some sesquipedalitous talent in an amateurish sort of way but he is moreover loquacious in his tendancy to employ periphrasis. That said, his rebuffs toward others are without substance and severely lacking in reason.

  • Nahu Tuk

    Pyrope the walking thesaurus.

  • http://twitter.com/mkteacher Mary Kreutz

    From what I know, I think that Assange is trying to make government actions more transparent so that we can see what is really happening. In doing this, maybe we become more aware of the “dark” secrets that we aren’t told. I think that Beck has made light of this accusation by using American beliefs about what constitutes rape. Unfortunately, Sweden has laws that don’t seem right to American beliefs. Their laws are different. He may have broken Swedish laws. Their definition of rape may be very different than ours. Hopefully, justice will prevail for all and if the Swedish system needs revision, they’ll do that. They seem to have a pretty good system that their people support. When in Rome, the rules of Rome prevail. Think about the American teen that got a beating for chewing gum in Singapore. It’s against their laws and we need to follow their laws just like we expect foreigners to follow our laws. 

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