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Slow News Day: Genetics Company Investigates Why Ozzy Osbourne Is Alive

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Ozzy Osbourne is famous for three things: eating a live bat, starring in a breakthrough incoherent reality TV show at the beginning of the century, and doing lots of drugs, all the time. None of these things, it appears, have killed him yet. Why? A genetics company would like to know.

Yes, it’s almost the Fourth of July, and if you haven’t noticed around here– or any other site of your choosing– it’s hard out here for a blogger on a 3-day weekend. Dead blog space is bad; dead airtime is even worse. So today on Fox News, Dr. Cynara Coomer tried to explain what it is in Osbourne’s genome that would attract scientists to explore it, as, empirically, there is little reason for him to be alive at all.

Coomer explained that “no treatments are going to come out of this” study, but the purpose is “to identify people that are high-risk for certain diseases and to target therapies to them.” In Osbourne specifically, “one of the things they’re most interested in with him is does he carry the enzyme in the liver which helps him to metabolize drugs better than other people.”

Coomer explains the investigation below:

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  • Big_F-ing_Deal

    In b4 a righty calls Frances a name!!!

  • RTB

    Haha this is great..
    Being a metal fan myself, alot of metaheads take potshots at ozzy today, mainly from the business aspect of things because he and sharon are portrayed as money grubbing and backstabbing at times, but he is a medical miracle, this guy has done enough drugs over the years to kill an entire field of the kentucky derby, jockeys included, i sure as hell dont know how he’s alive, on top of that being a heavy smoker for 30 years and being an alcoholic for god knows how long..he’s apparently off the sauce these days but ya, he’s definently a medical miracle.

  • elainegreen12

    Wanna know where people go to snag an interracial relationship, say, Just for future reference? “interracial Central”? “San Carlos” ? or “San Francisco”?*** Blackwhite Cupid C /om *** is the real place that is packed with them. ;)

  • jackyass

    I would say that its nature that creates and destroys. So, one cannot predict a person of same age group & habits could live as long as this man…

  • Barney

    It’s not a slow news day. It’s just that the corrupt, Obama-knob-polishing fucktards in the media just do not want to report it..

    The news that Oblahblah has been a complete disater. 650,000 people have just stopped looking for work. Businesses say they will not hire becuase of the job-killing legislation that the Jackassocrats have already passed..and that they see more of the same idiotic policies in the pipeline.

    Slow Joe Biden said in May that their policies will create 500,000 jobs per month. Things have gone to complete shit..because the assholes in the media keep repeating the propaganda that things are improving.

    That’s your story, Martel, you idiot. Try writing about that

  • valkyrie101

    Poor Barney…

  • TfT

    Well Val, despite the foul language Barny uses (which I don’t appreciate from any poster, btw), he makes some very valid points. It’s a slow news day because the media chooses to cover up relevant stories that may impact on himself in a negative fashion. Steve dared to venture into the DOJ whistle blower story, I note that Frances hasn’t bothered to criticize the Obama admin on that cover-up. I also don’t think Frances reported on moveon’s scrubbing their web site of all things General Betrayus (I know it was brought up on this board, but by whom, I don’t recall).

    I’m certain that he himself will go golfing again today and he will be partying with the gliterati tonight, no doubt. ONce again, making his claim “he won’t rest until the spill…” invalid and just another lie. But I don’t think we will see that reported here either. Oh well, Frances is by her own admission an Olbermann toady, so I would guess that most of what she writes about is Olbermann driven. And heaven forbid that MSNBC report facts or stories that make himself look bad.

    Frances is quick to criticize Steele, and once again, using MSNBC’s standard, that makes Frances a racist. How dare she criticize a black man.

  • valkyrie101

    TFT,
    I suppose it is a sign of the times that seeing the glass half empty is so prevalent. Though the world was a much more dangerous place even thirty years ago. I thought those on the right were all hooked up with Jesus. If so, why not more optimism?

  • TfT

    Val – when the media sides with one party (DNC) over the truth and ignores their responsibility to report facts and truth to the citizenry, then the country is in peril. MSNBC is the place for propaganda, mediaite in large measure, is an extension of MSNBC (note Dan’s association with NBC); CNN lies regularly, claiming they don’t. FNC dominates because they are the ONLY network who does not repeat the daily talking points from teh one and his crowd.

    I’m optimisitc because I expect a major turn of events come November; I’m not optimistic because the media has chosen to lie to the public. Broadcast news nets are losing viewers (rightly so), and CNN is tanking (rightly so), so there is some hope yet.

    But for now, journalism is dead, the “news” folk play the propaganda game – they have become the enemedia.

  • valkyrie101

    TfT said:
    Val – when the media sides with one party (DNC) over the truth and ignores their responsibility to report facts and truth to the citizenry, then the country is in peril. MSNBC is the place for propaganda, mediaite in large measure, is an extension of MSNBC (note Dan’s association with NBC); CNN lies regularly, claiming they don’t. FNC dominates because they are the ONLY network who does not repeat the daily talking points from teh one and his crowd. I’m optimisitc because I expect a major turn of events come November; I’m not optimistic because the media has chosen to lie to the public. Broadcast news nets are losing viewers (rightly so), and CNN is tanking (rightly so), so there is some hope yet. But for now, journalism is dead, the “news” folk play the propaganda game – they have become the enemedia.

    There is ten times more media now covering just about everything than there was back in the seventies or at any time before. Anyone can find a media outlet that appeals to them. Is it that you would like to eliminate those outlets that do not appeal to you? You are frustrated because everyone is not watching FOX or listening to Rush? The fact is, if Obama burps too loud it gets covered so the suggestion that anything significant is being ignored is incorrect. Though, not all media outlets will consider Obama burping as newsworthy, some will.

  • Big_F-ing_Deal

    Wow, this thread is proof that douchebags (and douchebaggettes) never take a day off from their douchiness.

    I was just kidding about attacking Francis in an Ozzy topic, it seemed absurd, but obviously I should have known better.

    You people must be a lot of fun at parties.

    Happy Independence Day!!!!

  • RTB

    ^HAHA, was thinking the same thing…
    Happy 4th to all as well

  • lazzzlo

    Big_F-ing_Deal said:
    Wow, this thread is proof that douchebags (and douchebaggettes) never take a day off from their douchiness.

    I was just kidding about attacking Francis in an Ozzy topic, it seemed absurd, but obviously I should have known better.

    You people must be a lot of fun at parties.

    Happy Independence Day!!!!

    lol, Fair point…Speaking of fun at parties,

    Cake has a fun cover of War Pigs!

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