1. Mediaite
  2. Gossip Cop
  3. Geekosystem
  4. Styleite
  5. SportsGrid
  6. The Mary Sue
  7. The Jane Dough
  8. The Braiser
Advertisement

Stephen Colbert Champions Corporate Civil Rights: ‘Time We Let These Product-Americans Be Heard!’

video
» 36 comments

Why won’t government regulators leave corporations alone, Stephen Colbert wondered during last night’s episode of The Colbert Report. Why shouldn’t Product-American’s be afforded the same rights as the rest of us? “The First Amendment protects not only speech you like, but speech you don’t like,” he reminds. “Government regulators must not persecute products just because they don’t fit some beurocrats narrow definition of ‘fireproof’ or ‘potable.’” And Congress shall therefore make no law respecting an establishment of corporate product, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. Let the corporations be free!

Colbert heralded that Google’s congressional hearing last week as a major milestone in corporate civil rights. The company argued in front of an Anti-Trust regulatory panel that “our web search results are protected speech in the First Amendment sense.”

“Yes!” Colbert argues, “web searches are enshrined in our founding documents. We have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of hacked Scarlett Johansson nude picks.”

So why don’t more corporations argue for their First Amendment rights? Cigarette companies, currently battling the government over a plan to put graphic and deterring images on packaging, might be well served by arguing an abridgment of their product’s freedom of speech. “Regulating a cigarette carton from enticing me to buy it is a violation of its free speech,” says Colbert. “I may not agree with what a carton of smokes says, but I will fight to the death for it’s right to say it.”

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Follow us on Twitter.

Sign up for Mediaite's daily newsletter.

Email Twitter Facebook Digg Reddit Stumble Upon Yahoo Buzz LinkedIn Tumblr Delicious
  • Anonymous

    Good old product placement.LOL

  • Michelle

    Three quarters — 74 percent — of voters throughout the country
    believe that businesses and consumers are over-regulated, according to a
    Public Notice poll released recently. And they strongly suspect that much of that over-regulation has
    been implemented recently: 67 percent believe that regulations have
    increased over the past few years.

    In fact, they’re right. The rate at which regulatory burdens are
    growing has accelerated under the Obama administration, according to a
    Heritage Foundation backgrounder.
    During its first 26 months, the Obama administration imposed 75 new
    major regulations with reported costs to the private sector exceeding
    $40 billion. During the same period, six major rulemaking proceedings
    reduced regulatory burdens by an estimated $1.5 billion — for a net
    increase of more than $38 billion.

    “No other President has burdened businesses and individuals with a
    higher number and larger cost of regulations in a comparable time
    period,” Heritage’s James Gattuso and Diane Katz write. “President Bush
    was in his third year before new costs hit $4 billion. President Obama
    achieved the same in 12 months.”

  • Valkyrie101

    Businesses have proven that they are unable and/or unwilling to regulate themselves. Therefore, we have government regulation. Most regulation is necessary.

  • Anonymous

    You should start a campain-:BRING BACK JOE CAMEL!

  • Michelle

    Not according to a SUPER majority of American’s comrade.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dronetek-Bulk-Vanderhuge/100000918732763 Dronetek Bulk Vanderhuge

    Colbert plays his idiot fans like fiddles. 

  • Charley James

    Ah, I see Michelle is out trolling this morning. Non-right wing mouthpieces, i.e., legitimate polling, other than the Heritage Foundation asked the same type of questions but also asked consumers follow-up questions such as ‘which regulations should be done away with.’ Food inspection? A resounding “no.” Product safety? No, again. Banks? Nope! Air traiffic control? Are you crazy, came the response. And on and on through the list of what government regulates to protect citizens.

    The reason George W. Bush’s new regulations only totalled $4-billion in supposed cost to the economy was because he didn’t propose any. Not for mine safety or air quality or carbon emissions or food safety or toy safety or anything else businesses didn’t like.

    Michelle, please use real facts and honest polls when trying to make a poor point badly.

  • Michelle

    Sorry, next time, I’ll use a Daily Kos poll. 

  • Michelle

    — The Environmental Protection Agency has said new greenhouse gas
    regulations, as proposed, may be “absurd” in application and “impossible
    to administer” by its self-imposed 2016 deadline. But the agency is
    still asking for taxpayers to shoulder the burden of up to 230,000 new
    bureaucrats — at a cost of $21 billion — to attempt to implement the
    rules.The EPA aims to regulate greenhouse gas emissions through
    the Clean Air Act, even though the law doesn’t give the EPA explicit
    power to do so. The agency’s authority to move forward is being
    challenged in court by petitioners who argue that such a decision should
    be left for Congress to make.
    The proposed regulations would set
    greenhouse gas emission thresholds above which businesses must file for
    an EPA permit and complete extra paperwork in order to continue
    operating. If the EPA wins its court battle and fully rolls out the
    greenhouse gas regulations, the number of businesses forced into this
    regulatory regime would grow tremendously — from approximately 14,000
    now to as many as 6.1 million.

  • Anonymous

    :Yawn:…

    The poll was done for the independent economic resource by the Tarrance Group, a Washington based company that works primarily for GOP organizations. The Tarrance Group surveyed 801 “likely voters” last week.

  • Anonymous

    Well you used a right wing poll. So that’s alright?

  • Anonymous

    Maybe there was a time when Colbert’s routine was funny.  But he’s been working the same tired routine for far too long.  

  • TbagsRstupid

    heritage foundation

    nuff said

  • Johnnybic

    I refuse to believe corporations are people until Texas executes one.

  • Michelle

    Yeah, kill the rich!

  • http://twitter.com/DrunkReport DrunkReport.com

    to me, the product placement was Colbert. i didnt know he was still on the air…. 

    dudes gotten boriiiiiing

  • Pablo

    Yeah! Destroy Viacom!

  • Pablo

    As of 1/1/2013, the EPA is in the business of regulating dust.

    Obviously. belching and farting is next. Because we can’t be trusted. 

  • Charley James

    No, not Daily Kos. I’m speaking of actual polls such as Quinnepac, Harris, Pew, etc.

  • Anonymous

    What ? You’de never have to watch “Green Acres” again.

  • Anonymous

    How about the EPA regulations that stop builders from building or farmers from farming, all based on junk science? Here’s just one example from CA, where thousands of farmers lost their livelihoods because of a law that allowed the irrigation to be shut down without any proof of benefit. It’s not about science, it’s about environ-activism, damn the consequences to peoples lives and the economy.

    http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article.aspx?id=563747&p=2.

  • Anonymous

    How about the EPA regulations that stop builders from building or farmers from farming, all based on junk science? Here’s just one example from CA, where thousands of farmers lost their livelihoods because of a law that allowed the irrigation to be shut down without any proof of benefit. It’s not about science, it’s about environ-activism, damn the consequences to peoples lives and the economy.

    http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article.aspx?id=563747&p=2.

  • Jason

    Oh lord.. you just insulted one of the prodigal sons.. prepare for massive amounts of poop flinging.

  • Jason

    Ohhh looky!!!! 12 voltcommie and 4 other socialist lemmings “liked this”. You must be onto something!!!!!

  • Jason

    I laugh at him. In the same way I laugh when I see a lawn gnome in front of someone’s house.

  • Jason

    Minus South Park and re-runs of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Comedy Central sucks.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_U7T5LVIQK7AMIBM5WI765VDVDQ smald4lib

    If you’ll do a little more home work you’ll find out that a lot of the regulations are written by corporate lobbyists. Case in point. The health insurance bill, the Affordable Health Care Act, was written by the heath insurance industry. That’s why when it passed their stock went up. Half the American public live on slogans from the Republicans becasue they’re to ignorant about how their government works, or what it even suppose to do. The EPA was created in the 70′s because the American public demanded clean air and water, and singed into law by Nixon.

  • http://societyfordaintydamsels.wordpress.com/ artemesia

    Very good points.  When one says govt. regulations, its too general and it sounds terrible.  When one breaks it down into specific regulations one can see , decide for themselves if they like the specific tasks.  Personally when rightwingers complain regarding environmentalists.  I worked for the Clean Air Council, Phila, PA in the 80s.  My hubby worked with chemicals for 7 years.  He passed away 2008 from I believe from exposure to benzene by products.  I know the American Chemical Council is at odds with the Environmental Protection Agency.   What that means is the ACC does their best to protect chemicals including carcinogenic ones at the expense of people’s health.  In other words profits before people.

  • http://societyfordaintydamsels.wordpress.com/ artemesia

    Very good points.  When one says govt. regulations, its too general and it sounds terrible.  When one breaks it down into specific regulations one can see , decide for themselves if they like the specific tasks.  Personally when rightwingers complain regarding environmentalists.  I worked for the Clean Air Council, Phila, PA in the 80s.  My hubby worked with chemicals for 7 years.  He passed away 2008 from I believe from exposure to benzene by products.  I know the American Chemical Council is at odds with the Environmental Protection Agency.   What that means is the ACC does their best to protect chemicals including carcinogenic ones at the expense of people’s health.  In other words profits before people.

  • Glutton

    You’re right, I would rather watch something entertaining like Greta lesbianating about Sarah Palin or a rerun of the O’Reilly factor crying about media bias.

  • Glutton

    Maybe you should tell us what the Book of Mormon says about this stuff.

  • Glutton

    True, if anyone knows anything about comedy, it’s right wing conservatives who are often the target of his jokes.

  • Glutton

    K, go watch Red Eye & that show on GBTV then.

  • Glutton

    So you get mad and start crying about a liberal bias whenever you see a garden gnome?  Interesting.

  • Glutton

    You mean like George W. Bush who didn’t even realize that Colbert was a satirist?

  • Michelle

    Just because the EPA was a good idea, doesn’t mean they aren’t grossly over-reaching now. 

© 2012 Mediaite, LLC | About Us | Advertise | Newsletter | Jobs | Privacy | User Agreement | Disclaimer | Power Grid FAQ | Contact | Archives | RSS RSS
Dan Abrams, Founder | Power Grid by Sound Strategies | Hosting by Datagram