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Tale Of The Tape, Political Bogeyman Edition: Nancy Pelosi Vs. Newt Gingrich

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by Nando Di Fino | 11:51 am, December 6th, 2011

» 13 comments

Newt Gingrich is the former Speaker of the House. And Nancy Pelosi also used to hold that title. And the similarities between the two don’t end there. Although embraced by their followers, they’re absolutely reviled by those with opposing views: The New York Divide congratulated Pelosi for making a “most corrupt” list three years in a row; the Star-Ledger called Gingrich “the sluttiest streetwalker on K Street.” And these are just the nice comments.

In a weird example of the pendulum swing of partisan politics, the vilification by on party gives credibility and power within one’s own party. Even with their strong personalities and political profiles, the two had managed, thus far, to stay out of each others’ respective ways. Until Pelosi told Talking Points Memo on Monday that:

“One of these days we’ll have a conversation about Newt Gingrich,” Pelosi told Brian Beutler. “I know a lot about him. I served on the investigative committee that investigated him, four of us locked in a room in an undisclosed location for a year. A thousand pages of his stuff.”

Gingrich responded that he welcomed those talks, pointing out that anything Pelosi reveals from the private sessions is against House ethics rules. Pelosi backed down later on Monday, with her spokesman saying she was referring to public record.

This will likely not be the last of the tussles between the dueling Speakers. So we present the tale of the tape — a quick refresher on what you need to know about Gingrich and Pelosi:

NEWT VS. NANCY: TALE OF THE TAPE

Birthday	June 17, 1943	March 26, 1940
Home District	Suburban Georgia	San Francisco
…But Born In	Pennsylvania	Maryland
Past Scandals	Affairs while married; ethics violations while in Congress	Possible insider trading
Messaging	Conservative, with a very rare liberal slant on minor issues	Consistently progressive
Personal Life	Divorced twice; currently married to his third wife, Calista	Married 48 years
Religion	Roman Catholic	Roman Catholic
Possible Nepotism?	His daughter, Kathy Gingrich Lubbers, is president of Gingrich Communications	Her daughter, Alexandra, has produced three election-themed documentaries with startling access to politicians
Alleged Air Travel-Related Silliness	Shut down government, allegedly over airplane seating arrangement on Clinton’s Air Force One	Allegedly had a “party plane” with thousands of dollars worth of booze and food.
Embarrassing Moment Caught On Video	This	This
Signature Gavel Moment	Contract With America	Health Care Reform
Popular Urban Legend That Has Since Been Proven Untrue	He served his cancer-stricken wife divorce papers while she was in the hospital.	She couldn’t answer a question about which of Captain Cook’s voyages was his last.

Congress, Nancy Pelosi, newt gingrich

Anonymous

But one of these people is holding himself out as a candidate for leader of the free world and the other is not. HIs record on ethics will be of far greater interest to voters than hers.
Gloves B. Donahue

That’s not an outdoor couch.
Anonymous

That ethics investigation resulted in a big fat zero for Pelosi and the Dems.

Sorry to burst any bubbles but IRS audit resulted in a clean bill of health and the Dems got a fine for his misleading (not perjury or lying) investigators.

Paltry results for the Dems considering they spent a year investigating and labored mightily to bring forth 87 baseless charges.
Anonymous

“Newt Gingrich is the former Speaker of the House. And Nancy Pelosi also used to hold that title.”

Doesn’t she still hold that title?
Anonymous

Good work putting the chart together… I would probably trust my loved ones in Nancy’s hand than Newt’s
Anonymous

As in “former Speaker of the House.” Yes, she still holds that title. Sloppy writing there.
Holistic

I thought the wicked witch left at the end of the Wizard of Oz?
Anonymous

I knew this was about Nancy; I saw her broom!
Anonymous

Pelosi’s outfits look like a couch!
Hout Bosques

Aww, I so have a sad that my Grams want to lie so much about this.

Here is the big lump she is crapping in Newt’s Christmas sack:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/gingrich/report/part_i.htm
Anonymous

Somewhat like the non-stop efforts against Clinton and only coming out with one victory!
Anonymous

One point left out in the comparison.

Presidential possibilities – Neither qualify
Charles Ulysses Feney

Resigned In Disgrace

Gather round all you children, gather round, hear this story
About the fall of a politician at the height of his glory
He resigned in disgrace
Now he’s back in the race
And if we fall for his lies, it’s America’s Momento Mori!

Let’s harken back to the year 1994
When Republicans won like they hadn’t before
He was Speaker of the House
(and a horrible spouse!)
But his ethics were something no one could ignore.

In those days the congress just did as they please
Graft and check kiting were a rampant disease
They all wrote bad checks
And had scurrilous sex
Without any fear of the authorities

Now our subject, the Speaker, was quite the hypocrite
He campaigned against corruption, while reveling in it
He took the bold stance
To audit Congress’s finance
And that’s where Newt Gingrich, stepped in his own $#!+.

The Ethics Committee looked into Speaker Newt
To try to find out just how he fenced all his loot.
They saw thousands of pages
Of Gingrich outrages
And when they asked why, the Speaker lied, or went mute.

There were epic proportions of Newt’s tax evading junk
The more they dug into it, the more that it stunk!
But Congress sanctions their own
When they’re bad to the bone
‘Cause if they didn’t, Newt would be a cellblock punk!

Newt got slapped on the wrist with a $300,000 fine
For his multiple scams that were over the line.
It was “intentional and reckless”,
Newt had proven himself feckless,
And after the next election, he was forced to resign.

It’s hard to imagine the size of the balls it would take
To run for the Presidency as sanctioned ethical snake.
He needs to be scorned,
And now you’re forewarned
That nominating Newt would be a disastrous mistake!
_______________________________
Charles Ulysses Feney