comScore Adam Perry Lang Makes Love To Meat | Mediaite

WATCH: Adam Perry Lang Teaches Us How To Give Fancy Meat The S&M Love It Deserves

We’ll go ahead and call this one: Adam Perry Lang is officially the Christian Grey of the culinary universe. The unconventionally naughty things he did to this rib roast left us about as aroused as (we assume) those 42 women reading 50 Shades of Grey on our morning commute were. Some ladies prefer S&M erotica; we like to watch men beat steaks with rolling pins, only to lovingly caress them afterward with oils applied by an herb brush. Different strokes, etc.

However, we aren’t all born with Liz Lemon’s preternatural ability to be a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen, so check out Adam Perry Lang’s unusual tricks for eliciting the best out of your (incredibly expensive) hunk of animal. Highlights include: “scruffing,” “season like rain,” a menage a trois with bricks, and board dressing. Get some.

[Bon Appetit]

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