How To Wow April Bloomfield On A First Date Knowing These Three Facts We Just Learned About Her

1. Kate Bush “helped get [her] through [her] angsty teenage years.”
2. Her dream pet is a lemur.
3. She loves Maialino. Okay, technically, we already knew that one, but this information is way more potent knowing the other two things.

First, we’d recommend taking her to a nice petting zoo where she might be able to interact with her beloved, but highly unethical to domesticate lemur pals.

“Its appearance fascinates me,” she confessed to Daily Candy, “and they’re very tactile. I had an amazing experience with one touching my leg. I still remember the touch. It wasn’t a hand grab, but instead the lemur put one finger down after another. I’ll never forget that.”

Don’t you want to help April Bloomfield recreate that magical moment? Imagine how appreciative she’d be!

Then, after a thorough hand-washing, we’d take her on a stroll through Madison Square Park culminating in a pleasant luncheon at Maialino (her favorite dish is the malfatti al Maialino). Bonus points if you can get one of those stalkerish Danny Meyer servers who apparently know everything about you to play a little K-Bush in the background. Alternatively, you can walk off your meal on a long saunter back to your place, where you’d have a bottle of wine waiting and Kate Bush queued up on the sound system. It’s just a matter of time before she bursts through your front door with a pig strewn about her shoulders for roasting.

You’re welcome.

[Daily Candy]

Have a tip we should know?

  1. Mediaite
  2. The Mary Sue
  3. RunwayRiot
  4. LawNewz
  5. Gossip Cop