Arby’s Testing ‘Artisan Melts,’ Obliterating the Meaning of Artisan

Look, we get it, Arby’s. You’re desperately trying to be hip. You even kind of had a win when Pharrell started wearing your big dopey hat everywhere. But, as Jon Stewart reminds us, you’re still kind of serving up shit. And grilled “artisan melts” is not really going to change that.

Nevertheless, Brand Eating informs us that the chain is testing out Reuben, Steak & Garlic Toast, Turkey Avocado & Bacon, and Steak & Portabella sandwiches in its Evansville, Ind. market. The brand says that there’s no current plans to expand this line of sandwiches into other markets, which we say GOOD LET’S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

In the meantime, we’re excited to see how other fast-food brands will continue to trash the English language and throw any ol’ word in front of a new product. (As Eater points out, Domino’s and Starbucks also abuse the word “artisanal” in its offerings.) Because we’re sure that these Arby’s sandwiches are “made by hand and with skill using traditional methods,” re: sticking a pre-packaged sandwich in a microwave or on the grill. Made by hand, indeed!

[Brand Eating h/t Eater]

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