Burrito Causes Bomb Scare In What Is Not an Onion Headline

This is real life. And authorities say “it is not a laughing matter.” But we’ve never been good at dealing with authority, so feel free to laugh your asses off, because we definitely are!

An Oklahoma man (not Florida! We know!) found what he reported to be a thermos-like container in his front yard with foil sticking out of the top, which he thought to be suspicious, so he brought it to his local police station, where they had him set it outside so that it could be X-rayed by the bomb squad. The X-ray revealed the harrowing results: the foil wrapped item…was a burrito.


  • Who left this savory gift on the lawn of an unknowing recipient?
  • Why stuff a burrito into a thermos?
  • If the guy thought the burrito thermos was a bomb, why wouldn’t he call the police to his house instead of carry it to the police station himself, thus risking a possible sour creamy, rice-filled death?
  • Was a possible assassin inspired by this?

We may never know.

[New York Times]

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