WATCH: Cat Cora Haltingly Previews Miss USA Pageant On TODAY Show

Tonight, Cat Cora fulfills every catty teenage girl’s dream and gets to judge women based on their looks at the Miss USA Pageant, and she spoke like one this morning.

Sitting down with fellow judge Marilu Henner on The Today Show this morning, Cat has maybekindasorta a good idea of the qualities that produce a winning Miss USA: “I think it’s all about beauty, and I think, um, for Miss USA, that’s what the criteria is,” she said. “We’re gonna be looking at how these confident women, um, carry themselves, and, um, that brightness, and that ‘It’ factor, and is this Miss USA going to be able to go on to represent the USA in [the Miss Universe Pageant].”

Nonsense! You simply need a proclivity for stripping and doing meth. (Unless you’re Alyssa Campanella, the coolest Miss USA ever, in which case you need to really like history books.)

But anyways, Cat, in the spirit of the Miss USA pageant, we give your presentation skills a 7 out of 10 — excellent physical presence, but be more relaxed in your speech and your words will flow more naturally.

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