WATCH: Chaz The Intolerant Chicken Visits Conan, Gets His Gay Sex Euphemisms Confused

Chick-fil-A has a new mascot, and he was introduced on Conan last night. Kids: meet Chaz the Intolerant Chick-fil-A Chicken.

He’s here to remind us from his perch on his picket fence that the only pickle a guy should put in his mouth is the Chick-fil-A classic. The only salad ladies should be tossing is a Southwestern char-grilled chicken one. If a guy wants warm nuts on his face, he should get a Chick-fil-A hot fudge sundae. You get the idea…

Also, as slang mavens with our fingers pressed firmly on the pulse of cultural banter, we are 100% positive that tossing a salad doesn’t mean what Chaz thinks it means. There are lots of euphemisms for lesbian sex (making waffles happens to be our personal favorite…okay, that’s not a real euphemism, it’s one we made up which we’re hoping eventually sweeps the nation), but, having one’s salad tossed is most certainly not one of them. Chaz needs to settle down in front of Urban Dictionary for a bit with some waffle fries and regroup.

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