Chipotle Threatens to Stop Guac Production If Climate Change Situation Doesn’t Turn Around

Dear America, the world:

Get your shit together re: this climate change nonsense or Chipotle will TURN THIS CAR AROUND, YOUNG LADY. You heard us. So, the affects of climate change include, but are not limited to: droughts. Droughts affect the price of beef. A shortage of nice cows means that beef becomes extremely expensive, and a fast-casual joint like Chipotle might no longer be able to afford sustainably raised cows. They may halt production on incidentals like guacamole to afford better beef. Ergo, the guac is in danger unless we can ease climate change. (Pretty sure we’re qualified to teach a course in economics right now.) Says the company:

“Increasing weather volatility or other long-term changes in global weather patterns, including any changes associated with global climate change, could have a significant impact on the price or availability of some of our ingredients. In the event of cost increases with respect to one or more of our raw ingredients we may choose to temporarily suspend serving menu items, such as guacamole or one or more of our salsas, rather than paying the increased cost for the ingredients.”

This constitutes a State of Emergency, right?


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