After months (maybe even a year?!) of Michael Symon and Eva Longoria begging America to send in new flavor ideas for Lay’s Potato Chips, a winner has been named: Karen Weber-Mendham and her Cheesy Garlic Bread!
While there are many things we could say about the contest (blah blah Sriracha got shafted and WTF is a chicken-flavored potato chip), the most important event connected to the ‘Do Us A Flavor’ contest is this: we will no longer see those freaking commercials starring the empty shell of a man that was Michael Symon.
He will disappear from the Hulu commercials that interrupt Parks and Recreation. He will no longer forcibly canter through our televisions as we wait for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo to return. Never again shall we watch him attempt to smile that charming smile, so easy on shows like Iron Chef, as he extols the virtues of
Dissolving Salted Cardboard Lay’s Potato Chips on national TV while part of his soul commits seppuku, thinking all the while about his children’s college fund as it hemorrhages duck jus.
This, dear readers, is not the face of a happy man. (Though it is the face of a man who doesn’t mind walking through hell with Eva Longoria.)
And much like Frodo at the end of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, the only way for Symon to become himself again is by fading back into the Food Network, to find healing and love among his fellow chefs and piles of lamb offal. You have done a tremendous and sacrificial thing, Symon.
[h/t The Huffington Post]
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