WATCH: Guy Fieri Narrowly Missed Escorting Brooke Shields To The Prom

Guy Fieri stepped in for Sharon Osbourne to guest co-host The Talk on CBS this afternoon (may we suggest he become her permanent hair stand-in?), only to be dealt the lowest of blows. He learned that he, in fact, had “all the key components” at his disposal to have escorted today’s guest Brooke Shields to her senior prom. Apparently, she had trouble getting asked, what with being a supermodel slash highly sexualized child actor at the time. A tan, blonde, slightly older Ted McGinley eventually came to her rescue from California to take her, which led Guy to beg the fates, why? Why couldn’t it have been him? All the factors were in play! He’s tan! He’s blonde! He’s from California!

Guy solemnly swore to the lovely Shields that he would have gladly transferred schools to be her sole high school confidant, and she promised she’d make it up to him someday.

Uh, is it just us, or is this like, the best day of Guy Fee-Eddy’s life?

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