A Worst Food Moments of 2012 list certainly evokes a take-no-prisoners outlook on the year’s wackiest food stories, but Esquire’s food correspondent John Mariani really came out swinging when he compiled his roundup.
Mariani dubbed Big Gay Ice Cream’s Robicelli’s Cupcake-edition Salty Pimp — made with vanilla cake around dulce de leche pudding, topped with dulce de leche buttercream frosting in fudge — the Worst Case of Wretched Excess, Ice Cream Edition. Sure, we’re Monday Sundae girls ourselves, but the Salty Pimp had legions of fans!
Joe Bastianich was named Worst Price Gouger for telling The Today Show that no less than $100 slipped to his maitre d’ will get you a nicer table.
René Redzepi bit the Worst New Dish bullet for his kefir lime-flavored ants and yogurt addition at Noma.
Mission Chinese Food, which is understandably hyped and thus often hosts hoards of diners huddled around a keg waiting 3+ hours for a table, got slammed with Worst Wait.
Poor Heston Blumenthal is the perpetrator of World’s Worst Burger Idea, with his artificial burger grown in a lab from fat stem cells and cow muscle. …Actually, that one is kind of fair.
And Anthony Bourdain made the list in the “Anthony Bourdain’s Most Insane Moment of the Year (One of Them, Anyway)” category — this one just seems unsportsmanlike — for giving Olive Garden critic Marilyn Hagerty a book deal.
This has been Harshing Your Holiday Vibes with John Mariani. Tune in next year.
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