comScore Kelis Has Never Actually Made a Milkshake And Our Collective Adolescence Has Been Ruined | Mediaite

Kelis Has Never Actually Made a Milkshake And Our Collective Adolescence Has Been Ruined

Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 11.59.41 AMSinger Kelis has made a career out of singing about how her “milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” Five years after that the song, the song of much of my adolescence was released, she enrolled at Le Cordon Bleu to become a certified chef, and even came out with a cookbook called My Life on a Plate: Recipes From Around the World​.

She was recently interviewed by The Guardian; the singer/chef is busy. She’s playing seven UK festivals just this year. Kelis talked about everything, from how to do a festival right to, of course, what might go in a Kelis milkshake.

That’s when she shocked the world. She said:

I don’t think I’ve ever made a milkshake. I made a smoothie the other day that was really good – protein powder, spinach, orange, and crushed ice with a little bit of honey and coconut water. I’ll make you a Kelis smoothie next time you come over.”

And, though my teenage years were already ruined due to crippling anxiety and the fact that I cut my own bangs on more than one occasion, with that one statement, Kelis retroactively re-ruined my teenage years.

And nothing else matters. My life is a lie.

You can read the full interview on The Guardian.

[image via screen grab]

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