Grub Street: Seriously, whassa matta with kids today? Blaring the raps and tweeting the facebooks and throwing the rocks at the ice cream trucks, like these little punks in Annapolis, MD. And the worst part: they stole the truck driver’s wallet, but not his ice cream. Again: Whassa matta with kids today?
Serious Eats: The best thing to do today instead of going to work: crank up the AC and eat in bed. (If your AC doesn’t work, don’t do it, that’s just gross.)
Bon Appetit: Turning on the stove is the worst idea today. Let’s cook dinner in a cooler! Because seriously, we’re that desperate to not make life any more difficult right now.
The Stir: You know what, since the world’s gone crazy hot, what the hell — why not cook food in your dishwasher, too? All that thermal energy’s gotta go somewhere! Let’s just USE IT ALL FROM OUR DISHWASHER BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE.
Jezebel: Even the zoo animals are eating popsicles! What’s next? Will they evolve higher intelligence and put the humans in the zoo?
The Local (Spain): Well, as long as everyone’s going to be in this heatwave, remember to hydrate, though not like this man, who was a local drinking champion in Spain but died after drinking six liters of beer at once.
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