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Last Call: Since When Is Michael Voltaggio A DJ?

Sound Cloud: Wait a minute, did we know Michael “The Angry One” Voltaggio was a DJ? Dare we wonder whether he and Hubert Keller are hitting the road together for a tour anytime soon?

Vanity Fair: Since we’ve been a little light on the food porn today, we’ll direct you toward Vanity Fair’s slideshow of photos from Iron Chef Morimoto’s iPhone. There’s an awesome shot of the sushi cake he made for The Chew’s book release party, plus, a sneak peek or two of dishes from his new restaurant Tribeca Canvas, we hope? (How much do we love that name?!)

The Observer: Because that story about how Guy Fieri is secretly Alice Waters made us feel all sorts of weird inside, here’s an eloquent dissection of why he’s everything that’s wrong with America to stabilize you.

Slate: Slate got their hands on screeners of Life After Top Chef, because they’re more special than us, and wrote up a scathing review of the premiere. Read if you don’t mind spoilers and want to know more about the “joyless, lifeless attempt by Bravo to squeeze a little more juice out of the desiccated husk of one of its most successful franchises.”

The Daily: Remember that Chipotle employee who photobombed Mitt Romney yesterday? He now swears his crazy facial expression was simply a genuine reaction of surprise and excitement, saying, “All of a sudden you see these black SUVs come up really quick and I thought we were about to get robbed.” …How poignantly accurate.

NYDN: Don’t drink three 24-ounce cans of Natty Daddy and then assault your spouse with a sandwich, you guys. If you do, you run the risk of the New York Daily News covering it as a super serious news story with comically painstaking detail of the sandwich ingredients as they were strewn about the scene of the crime, and as soon as mayonnaise becomes involved, it’s foodie news, and then we have to talk about it, which is just embarrassing. So don’t assault people with sandwiches.

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